9:05 / Adam Cadre (2000)
| Robb's Old EB Manager's Verdict:: |
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| 9:05? Robb was lucky to get here
by ten. Freaking slacker. |
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| Edgar Allen Poe's Verdict: |
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Ah! Too much has been said already! |
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| I can't tell you anything about the game without
completely spoiling it for you. |
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Game Information
I can not tell you anything about this game without
totally and completely ruining it for you. In fact, in simply letting you know that there
may -- just possibly -- be more to the game then what is immediately obvious, I have
without question spoiled the enjoyment you would otherwise have in playing 9:05.
So instead, I would like to talk about the failure of the 1999 New Orleans Saints
professional football club.
It sickened me to the core to see them lose the string of
games that started with a September 19th loss to San Francisco. See, if Chris Hewitt
didn't commit helmet-to-helmet contact with San Fran QB Steve Young then he would not have
been flagged for a penalty, the Saints would have had the ball on downs and let time
expire for a win. Instead the Niners drove the rest of the way ("drove" being
sort of a misnomer. They essentially drew flags from the officials because of their past
reputation -- no actual completions were achieved) and tied the game up. We got the ball
back and our QB threw an interception that was returned for a touchdown. This all happened
in the last three minutes of the football game.
Absolutely devastating. Who the hell is Steve Young and
why does he get that sort of reputation? Why is the league trying to protect him of all
players? To hell with that. I'd like to find out where he lives. I presume it's either in
Utah or California. I would like to enter his house in the middle of the night and hack
him to pieces with a lengthy butcher knife. I would throw his intestines about the room
like a puppy surrounded by wrapping paper on Christmas Day. I would detach his head from
his body and put my hand up it, engaging in a sort of puppet conversation. "Did you
screw the Saints, Steve?" "Oh yes, very much so," I would make him say by
flapping his jaw up and down. I would chortle in glee and then engage in my masterstroke.
I would become Steve Freaking Young. It would be OK. Sure, someone might get wise and say,
"Hey! You're not a handsome 37 year old Mormon with curly black hair that is in
tip-top physical shape! You're a goofy-looking dillsnick with fake yellow
hair!" Perhaps I would make it through training camp and maybe I wouldn't. I'll
guarantee you this: you don't want "Steve Young" on your fantasy football season
when he's playing the Saints next season. I suspect I will be able to take fifty points
off his career quarterback rating. Also, that whole "harem" thing that Mormons
engage in? It's time for Steve to stop disappointing ol' Brigham. We are talking twenty
more wives. I want to be able to go three weeks sampling the best Utah has to offer, thank
you very much. Select whoever you want with the #3 pick in the draft this year, Frisco, it
doesn't matter. I will be Steve Young and I will go out of my way to absolutely make me
and the team suck.
You see, I rather enjoyed 9:05 then.
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| There were many occasions where I had to be holding an
item before I could use it which was somewhat aggravating. On the other hand, the game
knows everything you might do before you try it, so you're never otherwise frustrated. It
balances out, narmean? |
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Parser
Responsiveness
9.8 / 10 |
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| Adam has always been well above the curve with parser
responsiveness and this game is no different. |
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Reader Comments:
Eric Mayer
January 11th, 2000 |
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| At least Mike Ditka did not have a heart attack and Steve Young was not
throwing so called laterals. So why complain? |
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Adam Cadre
January 11th, 2000 |
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| Notes from the "yes, it's deliberate" department: I actually
wanted the gameplay to be as frustratingly fiddly as it could reasonably get (having to
pick up items before using them, having to open and close doors (which I usually don't
even bother to really implement)) for a couple of reasons. One was to slow down the pacing
and make it seem as though no matter how hard you tried to rush, there was always
something keeping you from getting out of that goddamn house. But another was to make it
seem as much as possible like one of those "hey, I just learned Inform so now I'm
going to implement my apartment" games, which is the genre I was trying to have some
fun with. Of course, the problem was that most people know that I *haven't* just learned
Inform, so I gave some serious thought to releasing it under a fake name. Eventually I
decided against this, mainly because (a) it's too damn short and inconsequential to go
through the rigmarole of a pretentious identity unveiling and (b) if people *didn't* think
there was something else to it, they probably wouldn't play it. (Unless it was in the
comp, but I didn't want to sit on it for ten months, and besides, it's too damn short and
inconsequential for a comp entry in any case.) Still, people seem to like it. Go figger. |
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