It was a smoky, sultry summer's evening. A maniacal, obsessed downloader was running rampage through the hallowed walls of ftp.ifarchive.org. Onward through the site he continued, pillaging through hundreds of directories yet never finding anything to satisfy him. Suddenly, he spotted a directory which interested him - one which interested him VERY much.
TITLE: FTP directory /if-archive/interpreters-other at ftp.ifarchive.org
05/07/98 12:00AM 750 Index 04/04/96 12:00AM 4,790 RAIF-POOL.announce 07/11/96 12:00AM Directory adl 07/16/96 12:00AM Directory adms 01/20/98 12:00AM Directory advbuilder 11/27/95 12:00AM Directory advent 05/30/95 12:00AM Directory adventura 10/01/97 12:00AM Directory advsys 07/26/98 12:00AM Directory agi 06/14/95 12:00AM Directory agifg 07/18/99 07:40PM Directory agt 02/13/99 08:07PM Directory alan 11/27/95 12:00AM Directory archetype 07/21/94 12:00AM Directory aventuro 06/26/97 12:00AM Directory caecho 07/24/97 12:00AM Directory cutra 06/28/94 12:00AM Directory debuggers 02/12/96 12:00AM Directory drool 01/10/99 12:00AM Directory editors 03/16/93 12:00AM Directory figment 02/23/93 12:00AM Directory gags 04/09/97 12:00AM Directory gamescape 11/07/98 12:00AM Directory general-discussion 10/28/96 12:00AM Directory ginas 07/17/99 04:43PM Directory glk 11/13/95 12:00AM Directory gtac 07/18/99 10:50AM Directory hugo 03/06/97 12:00AM 31 inform5.5 03/06/97 12:00AM 29 inform6 07/17/99 02:22PM Directory jacl 07/21/95 12:00AM Directory lads 09/12/97 12:00AM Directory nmp 01/05/93 12:00AM Directory oasys 06/12/99 07:28PM Directory quest 08/04/93 12:00AM Directory questmaker 10/19/96 12:00AM Directory rexx-adventure 06/26/97 12:00AM Directory sintac 03/31/98 12:00AM Directory skc 07/17/99 04:09PM Directory tads 07/13/99 02:13AM Directory textopia 12/08/97 12:00AM Directory worldbuilder
Yes, yes, yes. All these interpreters awaiting attention. All those games waiting to be written. Slowly, methodically, the invader downloaded each and every interpret featured on the FTP site, aside from a few Spanish ones, that is. This took him a long time. He twiddled his thumbs and danced the mazurka by himself in the meanwhile. When all was completed and the plan was in place, the invader beat a hasty retreat from ftp.ifarchive.org - amazingly, he covered his tracks well enough that no one knew of his evil deeds and his eviller plans...yet.
With all these interpreters downloaded and unzipped into their individual directories upon the invader's extra-secret interactive fiction ZIP disk, the real challenge was to begin. Each interpreter had a manual the approximate size of War & Peace but they were written by authors who showed none of Count Tolstoy's intelligence and writing ability. But this countercultural warrior was not about to give up so easy. Hah! He rotted many a brain cell going through each prodigiously lengthy manual. He learned many new and exciting things. All was ready, for the third phase of the plan to commence.
For this, quiet was required. He dimmed the lights, shut off his computer, got out his pipe, and began puffing at medium speed. The days passed by, but he would not give up. The ideas had to come. There were still so many games yet to be written. So many AGI and ADL games never dreamt of before. The ideas would come. They had to - all of his work would be for nought if he could not think of any new ideas for adventure games.
He's still waiting for his great ideas to come. Loser! In the meantime, you, the commandant of the interactive fiction establishment, should be very, very afraid.
This story will be continued. Maybe.
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