[quote="Casual Observer"][quote="icj"]Can I call your parents to pick you up from day care?[/quote]only if we can pull off your scrotum tape and wig and expose the drama queen 'Ice Cream Jonsey' for the professional alterboy and knob gobbler that you are.[/quote]

LOL! Get off the fucking stage, Shecky. "Alterboy"? "The terrorists have already won"? In the same day? Where's the Mastercard "Priceless" post and the "Got Milk?" reference? Anyone who could make it through a five minute conversation with you in real-life should get government funding.

[quote="Casual Observer"][quote="Worm"]This is what I meant by thread pollution the first time the first time I called you out on it when I said we should kill all <s>n!33rs</s>, <s>police</s>, pot dealers.[/quote]got it, that's what you and pinback started in with today. so fuck you for that.[/quote]
Ours was closer to a harmless message board meme. Like that situation, that had to be dealt with. Though you running through the parking lot and putting "IP CHECK THIS" stickers on everything in a blurry eyed rage is just pure pollution.

[quote="icj"][quote]Can I call your parents to pick you up from day care?[/quote]only if we can pull off your scrotum tape and wig and expose the drama queen 'Ice Cream Jonsey' for the professional alterboy and knob gobbler that you are.[/quote]
Even if ICJ was all that uncessary typing, what is this shit?

[quote="Worm"]This is what I meant by thread pollution the first time the first time I called you out on it when I said we should kill all <s>n!33rs</s>, <s>police</s>, pot dealers.[/quote]got it, that's what you and pinback started in with today. so fuck you for that.

[quote="icj"]Can I call your parents to pick you up from day care?[/quote]only if we can pull off your scrotum tape and wig and expose the drama queen 'Ice Cream Jonsey' for the professional alterboy and knob gobbler that you are.

[quote="co"]btw, before jonsey "outs" me again, that last post was me. I admit it, I referenced a picture of a guy with really ugly sideburns and pretended that it was ben that had posted it himself without logging in. Call the internet police to cart me away, sysop.[/quote]

Can I call your parents to pick you up from day care?

This is what I meant by thread pollution the first time the first time I called you out on it when I said we should kill all <s>n!33rs</s>, <s>police</s>, pot dealers.

btw, before jonsey "outs" me again, that last post was me. I admit it, I referenced a picture of a guy with really ugly sideburns and pretended that it was ben that had posted it himself without logging in. Call the internet police to cart me away, sysop.

i'm going for this look. What do you think?
[img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/70/Burt_Rutan.jpg[/img]

[quote="ben"][quote="Ice Cream Jonsey"]But seriously, Ben, you need to let those sideburns grow out. ^__^[/quote]

I'm doing this now, BTW. I dunno if I'm doing it right, but hey, it's the thought that counts.[/quote]

Finally! The drugs are working because you're AGREEING with me!

Show us these new 'burns, bro!

[quote="Ice Cream Jonsey"]But seriously, Ben, you need to let those sideburns grow out. ^__^[/quote]

I'm doing this now, BTW. I dunno if I'm doing it right, but hey, it's the thought that counts.

Maybe some new clothes, while I'm at it?

No, actually, that was very mature and the proper way to let somebody down. Don't make a big flowery speech, don't tell them you never, ever want to see them again, don't use the term "Never call me again," (especially when they track YOU down, like she did with you) and don't allow for the boy to think you'll change your mind if he hang around long enough.

But seriously, Ben, you need to let those sideburns grow out. ^__^

Sharon,

That's OK, I don't really dig fat chicks.

Yours in Christ,

Ben


(Regardless of what she weighs.)

Ben,
I had a fun time last night too and Sideways was quite good. Although I felt like we got along pretty well, I think we are at different points in our lives right now for any connection of a romantic nature. If you wanted to stay in touch and go to movies and such I would like that, but I'm sorry I did not feel the spark of attraction.
Sharon

No, just the one email. Real short. And sweet. (Like the Tropical Rockfish Fillet!)

E-mails? With an "s"? Boy, I can't understand why she stopped responding to you, Solid Snake. Hmm!

We went to Red Lobster after driving by Sri Thai, which was closed. 2 days ago, we went to Appleby's after debating Angkor. Who can really cast blame in these dark days?

Tropical Rockfish Fillet w/ Caribbean Somebody Fucking Kill Me Rice

Serves [b]one[/b]. The [i]loneliest[/i] number.

For the fish
------------
- 1 rockfish fillet, or whatever the fuck they have at KS that looks edible.
- Banana, pineapple, mango, whatever tropical fruits you can get.
- Clarified butter.
- Unclarified butter.
- Juice of 1 lime.
- A couple tablespoons of coconut milk, which I am assuming is freshly made because you [i]have no fucking life and nothing better to do with your time than make your own [b]fucking coconut milk, you LOSER.[/b][/i]
- Two eggs, beaten.
- Some flour.
- Toasted almond pieces

1. Ignore an email you received on Yahoo Personals because they didn't provide a picture OR a profile.

2. Get stalked over Yahoo Messenger for the next week, as this strange person keeps trying to tickle your fancy.

3. Begrudgingly agree to a dinner/movie date with this person, because they seem interesting/less-than-300-lbs-ish enough to go out with.

4. Spend said dinner/movie evening with them having a wonderful time, laughing, trading off idiotic-joke for idiotic-joke the way you thought nobody else could ever do.

5. Actually realize this is the first fucking date you've been on in your 33-year old [i]life[/i] that you genuinely liked and enjoyed the female involved. The first, [i]ever[/i].

6. Spend the next day absolutely incredulous and mystified as it seems that once again, the date has decided to stop replying to emails after the face-to-face meeting, even though I thought she was having a great time, and I was certainly putting on the BEST front that I think I ever will on a first date sort of situation.

7. Come to the drunken, depressed conclusion that, if this didn't work, there is no chance [i]anything[/i] will ever work, so FUCK EVERYTHING. Fuck motherfucking [i]everything[/i].

8. Heat 2 tbsp of clarified butter in a pan.

9. Dredge fish in flour, dip into egg, and saute for a couple minutes a side to brown the batter.

10. Add lime juice, coconut milk, 1/2 stick (regular) butter, bring to boil and continue cooking until fish is cooked through and bananas are soft.

11. Transfer fish to plate, top with fruit, sauce, and toasted almonds.


For rice
--------
1. Cook one cup rice in 1 cup OJ, 1 cup chicken stock, salt & white pepper.

2. After cooked, mix in 1/4 cup grated fresh coconut (I [i]know[/i] you've got it. What the fuck [i]else[/i] do you have to do with your godforsaken time on this miserable plane of existence?) and 1 tbsp butter. Steam for a little while longer.

3. Fold in 1 cup diced papaya.



Serve, taking care to savor every bite, realizing that this is pretty much destined to be the highlight of your pointless life.

Fuck everything.

[img]http://sonowthen.net/crap/caribbean.jpg[/img]