See, I don't know anything about loans. I mean, I understand the concept (you borrow money from a bank), but past that, I have no clue. "30 year"? "Fixed what?" And what the hell is "escrow"? So, I don't know anything. Imagine like you're talking to a small, retarded child, who wants to buy a large boat and has no money.
Well, that's the wonderful thing about a loan. You don't NEED to have $200,000 to get a $200,000 boat, just the ability to prove that, given enough time, you can come up with it (plus a whole lot more).
Imagine that you gave thirty cents to your co-worker so he could buy a soda that goes for fifty. Now, your co-worker isn't a programmer like you -- fuck, the man has a
family. He can't be at work until 10:00 PST each night. He's got to get home and yell at his kids so they're not a fuckup like their old man.
No, he can't afford the last thirty cents for a soda. It took a few months for him to save up twenty cents! But he's really thirsty. He can't give you the remaining thirty cents, but he can give you a penny. A penny a month. A penny a month for the rest of his natural life (he's 32, like you).
This works in your favor, because you get the soda if all of a sudden he can't pay. So let's say he doesn't make his first payment. You repossess the soda and have thirty cents invested in something that goes for fifty on the open market. You can
probably find someone to buy it for 45 or 46 cents. This is a good risk for you. He'll be paying you for the rest of his life (and that's what, essentially, you'll be doing if you get this boat) and eventually far surpass the original $0.30 investment. By a factor of six or seven. If he defaults, BOOM. The soda is yours and you can sell it and make a profit.
OK, this example sort of requires that your co-worker not drink the soda until the end. But. Anyway.
Now, onto escrow. Escrow is a term invented by people who play massively multiplayer on-line role playing games. Only, because they are under the age of 25 and on the Internet, they're
fucking retarded. They don't know what "role-playing" is. Since they don't know the real defintion of words (as evidenced by them doing things they'd never, ever attempt in real life -- including conversing with others) it's totally cool to make some up, even funny-sounding words like "escrow." Hahah, it's got parts of cow AND crow in there!!!
Escrow means that everyone has to put their shit into the center of the monitor and can only click "agree" when it's obviously setup correctly. So you have a check for $200K. The marina has a boat. You put your check in escrow and they put the check there. If the check clears and the boat floats than Escrow gives the money to the marina and the boat to you. If the check doesn't clear or if the boat is filled with more holes than my above illustration of loans then Escrow does not allow the transaction to go through. I don't think you need to do anything with escrow in order to get a boat.
What you need to get a loan:
1) The ability to look like or obtain a white person (don't hate the player, hate the game). The reason why there are no white bank robbers, except for the movies, is because we give each other loans.
2) The ability to hold down a steady job. Might be difficult to prove, given your flightiness.
3) The ability to provide a
down payment.
Would you like to know more?
[quote]See, I don't know anything about loans. I mean, I understand the concept (you borrow money from a bank), but past that, I have no clue. "30 year"? "Fixed what?" And what the hell is "escrow"? So, I don't know anything. Imagine like you're talking to a small, retarded child, who wants to buy a large boat and has no money. [/quote]
Well, that's the wonderful thing about a loan. You don't NEED to have $200,000 to get a $200,000 boat, just the ability to prove that, given enough time, you can come up with it (plus a whole lot more).
Imagine that you gave thirty cents to your co-worker so he could buy a soda that goes for fifty. Now, your co-worker isn't a programmer like you -- fuck, the man has a [i]family[/i]. He can't be at work until 10:00 PST each night. He's got to get home and yell at his kids so they're not a fuckup like their old man.
No, he can't afford the last thirty cents for a soda. It took a few months for him to save up twenty cents! But he's really thirsty. He can't give you the remaining thirty cents, but he can give you a penny. A penny a month. A penny a month for the rest of his natural life (he's 32, like you).
This works in your favor, because you get the soda if all of a sudden he can't pay. So let's say he doesn't make his first payment. You repossess the soda and have thirty cents invested in something that goes for fifty on the open market. You can [i]probably[/i] find someone to buy it for 45 or 46 cents. This is a good risk for you. He'll be paying you for the rest of his life (and that's what, essentially, you'll be doing if you get this boat) and eventually far surpass the original $0.30 investment. By a factor of six or seven. If he defaults, BOOM. The soda is yours and you can sell it and make a profit.
OK, this example sort of requires that your co-worker not drink the soda until the end. But. Anyway.
Now, onto escrow. Escrow is a term invented by people who play massively multiplayer on-line role playing games. Only, because they are under the age of 25 and on the Internet, they're [i]fucking retarded[/i]. They don't know what "role-playing" is. Since they don't know the real defintion of words (as evidenced by them doing things they'd never, ever attempt in real life -- including conversing with others) it's totally cool to make some up, even funny-sounding words like "escrow." Hahah, it's got parts of cow AND crow in there!!!
Escrow means that everyone has to put their shit into the center of the monitor and can only click "agree" when it's obviously setup correctly. So you have a check for $200K. The marina has a boat. You put your check in escrow and they put the check there. If the check clears and the boat floats than Escrow gives the money to the marina and the boat to you. If the check doesn't clear or if the boat is filled with more holes than my above illustration of loans then Escrow does not allow the transaction to go through. I don't think you need to do anything with escrow in order to get a boat.
What you need to get a loan:
1) The ability to look like or obtain a white person (don't hate the player, hate the game). The reason why there are no white bank robbers, except for the movies, is because we give each other loans.
2) The ability to hold down a steady job. Might be difficult to prove, given your flightiness.
3) The ability to provide a [i]down payment.[/i]
Would you like to know more?