A rather amusing IRC conversation

Jamess deBondo · Post by **Jamess deBondo** » Thu Jun 12, 2003 8:42 am

Okay, so I'm in #chat on irc.mircx.com, and this guy comes in asking about "a script for hacking". Normally I would have probably joined in with the rest of the luggs in mocking the kid, but I was feeling rather melicious at the time, so I attempted to contact him with a private message. At this point, several people in the chat were mocking him, telling him that there were no IRC scripts for hacking.

Session Start: Wed Jun 11 21:05:44 2003
Session Ident: Ready_Boy
Session Ident: Ready_Boy (~Guest9236@cm85.omega69.maxonline.com.sg)
>don't listen to them.
<Ready_Boy> Who
> These fools who think that ther is no script for hacking.
> Now...
> What exactly are you looking for?
<Ready_Boy> I'am looking for a script which can hack
> Hack what?
> What are you interested in hacking?
> We must know, you see, so you do not abuse this power.
<Ready_Boy> ok
<Ready_Boy> Like de op a person
> Hmmmmm.
> Interesting.
<Ready_Boy> and all the other stuff
<Ready_Boy> I just wanna learn
<Ready_Boy> i've tried finding in kazaa how to hack e-mail, but the hacking they thought doesn't work
> You see, we've once given this power to people before.
> It turned out to be a disaster.
<Ready_Boy> ok
<Ready_Boy> Do you know how to do this stuff
> You see, they went rampant.
> Ended up taking down an entire chat network.
> Temporarily.
<Ready_Boy> ok
> A very major chat network went down.
> It was very nerve-wracking.
<Ready_Boy> i just wanna know like how to de op a person and how to kick or ban without being a op
> Yes.
> You see, these people ended up making too high a profile of themselves.
[What I was referring too here was the time that dalnet got shut down temporarily due to a massive amount of DOS attacks. I was hoping he would recognize it, but I was wrong apparently.]
<Ready_Boy> ok
<Ready_Boy> Which country are you frm
> Now I may make this happen for you, but you need to understand.
> People who make high profiles out of themselves get no shelter from us.
<Ready_Boy> Sure
<Ready_Boy> which channel you go in mirc
> Some peope, those who make too high a profile...
> ...get hunted by us.
> For you see, they are endangering us.
<Ready_Boy> What you mean by high profile
> Don't be too obvious about it.
<Ready_Boy> ok
> If you go banning people left and right, people are bound to notice.
> And make complaints.
> If too big an investigation ocurs... it could be very bad.
<Ready_Boy> ok
> Good.
> Now...
> Also, I must give you a list of people you may not ban, kick or deop.
<Ready_Boy> well can you teach me
> Because they are us.
<Ready_Boy> ok sure
> That's good, that's good.
> you're willing to cooperate.
<Ready_Boy> Yes
> We'll work out those details later.
> Now...
<Ready_Boy> ok
> You see, we can't just give out these things to everyone.
> We have to ensure your loyalty first.
<Ready_Boy> ok
> A little... test, if you will.
<Ready_Boy> sure
> For all I know you are an agent for an investigation agency.
<Ready_Boy> What
> Well...
> What would you do to prove it?
<Ready_Boy> k
> That was a question.
<Ready_Boy> well what makes you think i'am from and ivestigation agency
> The fact that you haven't done anything to convince me otherwise.
<Ready_Boy> Ok
<Ready_Boy> Let me think
> Do not take too long.
<Ready_Boy> ok
> I do not have time to waste.
<Ready_Boy> Well my country does not have investigation agency
> \And where is your country?
<Ready_Boy> Singapore
> Fair enough.
> But how do I know you're really from Iingapore?
<Ready_Boy> Well you can check my connection
> Hm. Yes.
> However, what does it really matter?
> Its entirely possible that you are an agent of anther government living in another country.
> Let me rephrase.
<Ready_Boy> ok
> Its quite possible that you are working for the investigation agency of a country such as America, but just happen to live in Singapore.
<Ready_Boy> ok
> So you see, this is not helping.
> Hell, words are shallow.
> What we need are actions.
> How far would you go to prove to us that you are not working against us?
<Ready_Boy> hold on
<Ready_Boy> If i was working for and agent i wouldn't be coming here i would be in mirc stright
<Ready_Boy> i've really been trying to be a hacker
> Well, perhaps.
> However, it is quite possible that you are a "mole", as they are referred to.
> Someone attempting to spy on us from within.
<Ready_Boy> I've try searching the webs
> Yes, yes, yesyesyes, please don't waste our time with such babblings. The web is useless for this sort of thing.
<Ready_Boy> There is no need for me to spy
> They can try putting this sort of thing on public web sites but could they really last long?
> Well, no.
> That is, if you're a hacker.
> However, you must prove that to us.
<Ready_Boy> But i'am not i just wanna learn]
> Yes. You see, we do not belive you.
> We default as not believing people like you.
> As such, you must earn our trust.
> You see?
<Ready_Boy> ok
> If we went giving people this stuff the instant they asked, we wouldn't be very successful now would we?
<Ready_Boy> ya
> Well...
> As you see, we must have you actually do something to prove your worth.
<Ready_Boy> Well how did you learn to hack
<Ready_Boy> By your friends
> Like I'm going to tell you that?
> Please, don't insult our inteligence.
> Okay.
<Ready_Boy> ok
> We have traced your IP, we konw your location.
> We see that you are near the location of a certain William Renard.
<Ready_Boy> where
> He has been a rather annoying pain in our collective side for quite a while.
> so, to prove your worth...
> You must kill him.
<Ready_Boy> who is he
> THat doesn't concern you.
> That's part of what makes it a test of loyalty.
> Also, it is security.
<Ready_Boy> Well if that the test of loyalty there wouldn't be anyone alive
> I didn't say he was a part of us.
> He has, in fact, been rather annoyingly been working against us.
> As such, we must eliminate him.
> And your arrival is somewhat of a boon to us, as you see.
<Ready_Boy> what you mean by boon
> YOur location is very helpful.
<Ready_Boy> i'am in singapore
> Precisely.
> You see, if you do this, that measn that if you turn on us later you will be guilty of murder.
> It is a security measure.
> You see?
<Ready_Boy> How is my location helpful to you
> ecause he is nearby.
<Ready_Boy> where is he
> Do you agree to do it?
<Ready_Boy> Do wat
> Murder a man you have never known before in cold blood.
> Are you willing to do it for the power to kickban anyone you so choose?
<Ready_Boy> Well i'am not stupid
> ...How's that?
> \
<Ready_Boy> well
> I do not type to see my own text, welp. I expect an answer. NOW.
<Ready_Boy> wat ans you wab
<Ready_Boy> what answer do you want
> What is the meanign of your statement "i am not an idiot".
<Ready_Boy> what you want me to reply
> Well, are you willing to murder a man you have never met before in cold blood?
<Ready_Boy> NO
> Well, then.
> We cannot trust you.
<Ready_Boy> why must i murder a man in order to gain my trust
> If you are not willing to pretect our interests we have no use for you.
> I am afraid that I must severe all communications with you.
<Ready_Boy> why not teach me other things maybe i will be gd in tat
> A shame... you had such potential.
> No, no, we've been over this before, plebian.
> we cannot teach oyu what we know if we are not certain that you well not go blabbing it off to the highest bidder.
<Ready_Boy> i won't
<Ready_Boy> I just wanna know
> But you see, we cnnot trust you.
> Words mean nothing.
> This, you see, a test of loyalty.
<Ready_Boy> ya i know
> It is a necessity.
> And it will help our ends.
<Ready_Boy> But.................................
<Ready_Boy> Nvm
<Ready_Boy> I understand you
> What is the problem?
> Morals?
<Ready_Boy> Thanks for spending ya time
> YOu are a hacker. You have no needs for such things.
> I do not enjoy having my time wasted, plebian.
<Ready_Boy> I wanna learn how to be one
<Ready_Boy> Ok can you at least teach how to hack into e mail
> Well, if you are not willing to stay loyal to us you cannot learn anything from us.
<Ready_Boy> Pls
> No.
> BOttom line.
<Ready_Boy> Only just one simple hack
<Ready_Boy> Where are you frm ]
> Bwahahahahaha!
> Oh, my god, this is priceless!
> I strung you along like a baby!
> You are such a moron!
> YOu think you're a hacker? God, you're pathetic!
<Ready_Boy> What you mean
> Looking for stuff on kazaa? Where's your fucking ambicion?
<Ready_Boy> i've tried on looking at kazaa
> Have you even hacked anything yet?
<Ready_Boy> Nothing But i've tried
> You haven't even managed to hack hotmail?
> *everyone's* hacked hotmail!
<Ready_Boy> Hacing into porn sites
<Ready_Boy> But didn't get it
<Ready_Boy> I've also tried hacing into hotmail but the method in kazaa wasn't right i guess
> Dude, you don't get it!
> You still don't get it!
> I have no idea where you can find scripts!
> I've dooped you!
> And you know what?
> It was the easiest fucking thing I've ever done!
> You, my friend, are officially the *stupidest hacker ever*.
<Ready_Boy> wat
> I've met lamer wannabe hackers from *AOL* that were smarter than you!
> Ther eis no group known only as "us".
> We do not exist.
> There is only me.
> I've made a fool out of you.
> And the log of this chat will be making the rounds of every ebsite I can think of.
> Well, my sad, sad delusioned little friend, you have been an amusing little deversion to people.
> Now... I must depart.
> Adeu.
<Ready_Boy> Fuckk off
> When I get through with you, my friend, you won't be able to get on *google*.
Session Close: Wed Jun 11 22:07:26 2003

Protagonist X · Post by **Protagonist X** » Thu Jun 12, 2003 11:02 am

This log deserves a hearty "bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

Personal fave:

<Ready_Boy> Well i'am not stupid
> ...How's that?

Nicely played, James. The more script kiddies and phishers who get discouraged and go back to whatever the hell it is they were doing previously, the easier my dayjob is.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Jun 12, 2003 11:20 am

That line about not even being able to get on Google is fucking hilarious.

Irony Maven · Post by **Irony Maven** » Thu Jun 12, 2003 2:18 pm

I've dooped you!

Yeah, that guy sure was stupid.

Bond, JC attention slut · Thu Jun 12, 2003 5:28 pm

Hey Robb, do ya think this might make it into JC's feature section? Just a thought.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri Jun 13, 2003 9:28 am

Let me put a link there the next time I update the front page. ICQ Logs are usually viewed as "not funny" and a subject of derision and attack by groups of ne'er do wells and "playa hatas" that exist out there on this cold, cruel Internet. You did have some good lines in there, but I don't want anyone comparing us conceptually to the Onion or something.

While I'm at it -- did you catch the other messages regarding the Update Week on Krips? Should hopefully be starting this Monday. I did get your last mail regarding the Green and Red verdicts, so thanks on that.

James Bond · Post by **James Bond** » Mon Jul 07, 2003 4:47 pm

IRC funnies chapter 2: the violence inharrant in our nation's youth. Sad, really.

[This jem comes courtesy of an opperator of #rap-music on mIRC-X, a channel which I got invited to for no reason at all.

Session Start: Mon Jul 07 16:19:51 2003
Session Ident: Jo3^MoRgAn
Session Ident: Jo3^MoRgAn (__@hydnkynas01-pool0-a213.hydnky.tds.net)
<Jo3^MoRgAn> #StOnErS
> Shut the fuck up.
> Bitch.
<Jo3^MoRgAn> a now son dont fuck with me
> Excuse me?
<Jo3^MoRgAn> call me a bitch again I make ya sreen go blank slut
<Jo3^MoRgAn> sub_7 uers here
> You go spam me for no reason and *you're* the one threatening me?
<Jo3^MoRgAn> that shit aint treating advertiseing a chan dont get fucking scared about it
> Did I say I was scared?
<Jo3^MoRgAn> you said you was threatin
<Jo3^MoRgAn> lol
> And someone please translate the first part of your sentence into english.
<Jo3^MoRgAn> mus be
<Jo3^MoRgAn> dont say another word to me or I promise you I will fuck up your pc
> I'm terrified! Please! No! Don't illegally fuck up the computer that isn't mine becuase I told you to stop spamming me! I'm trembling in my fucking boots here. Bitch.
<Jo3^MoRgAn> my first sentence means dont fuck me with or u get fucked up thats what the fuck it means
> Ah.
> I see you have a certain obsession with the word "fuck". Would you like to talk about it?
<Jo3^MoRgAn> look a here man I dont leave no kinda traces what so ever when I fuck up a pc never been caught an never will be caught you want to find out give me about 10 min.s then your shit will go down then no way at all will they find anything in there dealing with my hack program
<Jo3^MoRgAn> yea fuck you your dad your mom an your sister fuck um fuck um fuck um fuck um
<Jo3^MoRgAn> that good enough
> Excuse me, I never, ever said that I doubt your 1337 haX0ring skilz.
> I only question your motivations.
> You spam a channel I don't want to go to and never do, I tell you to stop, and you threaten to destroy this computer.
> I think you're overreacting just a teansy bit.
<Jo3^MoRgAn> the way you said it I didnt like
<Jo3^MoRgAn> fuck off
> Now sit down, lean back, and drink a nice tall glass of SHUT THE FUCK UP. Yes.
<Jo3^MoRgAn> if you dont got no better respect then that someone needs to kick your fuckin ass
> Respect?
<Jo3^MoRgAn> by god you wanna roll
<Jo3^MoRgAn> uhh
<Jo3^MoRgAn> jus tell me were when what time an I be there to fuck you up son
> You spam me and you talk about *me* not having any respect!
<Jo3^MoRgAn> dont fuck wif this ol dog
<Jo3^MoRgAn> come one son
<Jo3^MoRgAn> were ya want to meet at
<Jo3^MoRgAn> tell me
> Here's a clue, shitstain, if you want respect from someone then don't spam them as a way of saying hello!
<Jo3^MoRgAn> I spend the gas money to come kick ya ass
<Jo3^MoRgAn> were ya from
> I'm sorry, what do you want to "fuck me up" for again?
> Because I told you not to spam me?
> So you want to put me in the fucking hospital?
> I don't understand how *you* are the one claiming io be in the right after you spam me.
<Jo3^MoRgAn> well you trying to act like a bad ass
> No, I'm trying to win a verbal sparring match started by someone with the intelect to think that its my fault that he spams.
<Jo3^MoRgAn> I do it to everyone some jus say no not shut the fuck up now see that makes me mad so if you dont wanna fight then I suggest you shut your fucking mouth cause I will fuck something up then you will not be able to talk on this shit any more
> No, you see, if I just say "no" then they'll say "yes" and things rapidly detiriate from there. When I say "no, shut the fuck up<' they usually take no as a fucking answer and leave me alone. You're just more stubborn.
> I might add that while speaking is not illegal, computer hacking is.
<Jo3^MoRgAn> thats it your gonna get fucked up now well your pc should fry
<Jo3^MoRgAn> hope ya got good luck in stoppin me
<Jo3^MoRgAn> give me about 10 min.s your ass is grass son
> So, as I stated before, sit back, and drink a nice tall glass of SHUT THE FUCK UP.
> Now tell me, whyu would I do a stupid thing like that?
Session Close: Mon Jul 07 16:34:48 2003

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Mon Jul 07, 2003 5:57 pm

"So, as I stated before, sit back, and drink a nice tall glass of SHUT THE FUCK UP. "
Let's let that go. JB, why are you trolling all of internet relay chat?

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Mon Jul 07, 2003 6:00 pm

Is it just me, or is IRC the last refuge of illiterate retarded specimens of subhumanity who find AOL too challenging for them?

Bruce

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Mon Jul 07, 2003 6:10 pm

If you're there for files it usually is okay ...
With DC++ and Burst! though there is little exscuse unless you are looking for something really rare. Like that japanese MGS type raping game.

James Bond · Post by **James Bond** » Mon Jul 07, 2003 6:13 pm

I don't go trolling. I go to chat, and when people show up and spam me for no reason I respond irratably. Does it look like I fucking *asked* to be spammed by some barely-literate jackass who claims 133+ comp00ter skilz?././/.?>???