SCREW YOU BREYERS! SCREW YOU "ICE CREAM" COMPANIES!

[RetroRomper]

My ice cream is icy. This is probably the most common problem with home made ice cream. And it's caused by large ice crystals forming in the mixture as it freezes. Large ice crystals are usually the result of either too much water in the mix or excessively long freezing time.

WHY THE FUCK IS YOUR ICE CREAM SO SHITTY IT HAS FUCKING ICE CRYSTALS!?!?!?!

Breyers has been making ice cream since 1866, but if you look closely, ice cream isn't ice cream anymore. It's frozen dairy dessert. ... The change in name is because Breyers changed the ingredients and legally they can no longer call their product ice cream.

In order to qualify as ice cream, a product must meet two criteria:

1. Ice cream must contain a minimum of 10% dairy milkfat.

2. Ice cream must have no more than 100% overrun and weigh no less than 4.5 lbs. per gallon.

But what the heck is "overrun," you ask? Well, overrun is the amount of air that is whipped into the ice cream base during freezing and is usually presented by a percentage. For example, with 100% overrun, for every gallon of ice cream base you would wind up with 2 gallons of finished ice cream.

LOATHE everyone... Everything. My. Fucking. God. Damn. It.

I WANT ACTUAL ICE CREAM!

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I don't think you need to be eatin' any ice cream.

[RetroRomper]

I haven't eaten ice cream in years: I drink it.

My Grandmother's favorite dessert consisted of a liter of ice cream, browned butter, and sugar. She'd melt down the ice cream after browning the butter, mix them, and add extra sugar. Unrelated to any of this, she died from heart failure.

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That's nauseating.

[Casual Observer]

I haven't eaten ice cream in years: I drink it.

Now I'm confused. Why do you care about ice crystals in it if you're just going to melt it down?

Do we need to start a thread about whether Retro is Bi-Polar?

[RetroRomper]

Letting ice cream melt at room temperature preserves the ice crystals, so you either crunch into barnacles of ice or waste time crushing them down.

[Billy Mays]

You can buy ice cream at the store.

[Casual Observer]

Letting ice cream melt at room temperature preserves the ice crystals, so you either crunch into barnacles of ice or waste time crushing them down.

sorry, how do ice crystals survive at room temperature in your world? You must live in an ice or wine cave or something. Bi-Polar shit.

[RetroRomper]

Ugh.. God...

You put the ice cream out for a bit, but you stir it around as you wait for it to melt, breaking it down or you add a little bit of heavy whipping cream to make it easier to break down the scoops of ice cream. The ice crystals are left even after you combine the mixture with the melted browned sugar. Christ man, haven't you ever disgraced your body before?

[pinback]

I have to side with Billy here:

1. They sell ice cream at the store.

2. Just eat the goddamn ice cream, you freak.

Good topic, though!

[Casual Observer]

Christ man, haven't you ever disgraced your body before?

all the fucking time for the last couple decades man, just differently apparently or maybe not entirely.

I've never had any issue with Breyers, are you sue you didnt leave it in too long? You know that protective layer of ice crystals that grows? You can scrape that off.

[AArdvark]

You don't have to eat Breyer's. Have you tried Ben & Jerry's? What do you think of it?

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Don't even get him STARTED on Ben & Jerry's! (I'm assuming.)

[Flack]

2020 has been a complete shit show and I thought the one thing we could all agree on was that ice cream is good.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

C
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[Tdarcos]

I have to side with Billy here:

1. They sell ice cream at the store.

2. Just eat the goddamn ice cream, you freak.

Good topic, though!

Retro might be right. Next time you stop at the grocery store, err I mean supermarket, see how many frozen products in the "Ice Cream" section actually say "Ice Cream" on the label. It might be less than you think.

Try picking up a bottle of regular, non-diet soda with sugar in it. Chances are, if you can find any that does not contain "high fructose corn syrup" (HFCS), and does have sugar, it's almost certainly imported from Mexico, where HFCS is banned.

It's like this. Have you had a can of Pringles Potato Chips? Not unless you opened a 25-year-old can, you haven't. Legally, because it uses dried, flaked potatoes (the same process used to create instant mashed potatoes) Procter & Gamble can't call Pringles "potato chips," anymore as actual potato chip makers complained to the FTC, because "potato chips" are made from potatoes sliced and cooked. Pringles are technically "potato crisps." They're quite tasty, but legally they're not potato chips.

[pinback]

I have to side with Billy here:

1. They sell ice cream at the store.

2. Just eat the goddamn ice cream, you freak.

Good topic, though!

Retro might be right. Next time you stop at the grocery store, err I mean supermarket, see how many frozen products in the "Ice Cream" section actually say "Ice Cream" on the label. It might be less than you think.

Try picking up a bottle of regular, non-diet soda with sugar in it. Chances are, if you can find any that does not contain "high fructose corn syrup" (HFCS), and does have sugar, it's almost certainly imported from Mexico, where HFCS is banned.

It's like this. Have you had a can of Pringles Potato Chips? Not unless you opened a 25-year-old can, you haven't. Legally, because it uses dried, flaked potatoes (the same process used to create instant mashed potatoes) Procter & Gamble can't call Pringles "potato chips," anymore as actual potato chip makers complained to the FTC, because "potato chips" are made from potatoes sliced and cooked. Pringles are technically "potato crisps." They're quite tasty, but legally they're not potato chips.

They sell ice cream at the store, Paul.

[Casual Observer]

Try picking up a bottle of regular, non-diet soda with sugar in it. Chances are, if you can find any that does not contain "high fructose corn syrup" (HFCS), and does have sugar, it's almost certainly imported from Mexico, where HFCS is banned.

Paul, its not because mexico banned corn syrup its because our government hugely subsidizes corn production making that the cheapest option. My dad used to be in charge of making Cisco (look it up, 40 proof wine cooler) and said corn syrup was cheaper by like 100 times when youre talking train tankcars. There are plenty of premium us made sodas besides Mexican Coke (which is awesome), IBC, Fever Tree, etc.

[Billy Mays]

Pringles are technically "potato crisps." They're quite tasty, but legally they're not potato chips.

They sell potato chips at the store, Paul.

[Tdarcos]

regular soda with sugar in it it's almost certainly imported from Mexico, where HFCS is banned.

Paul, its not because mexico banned corn syrup its because our government hugely subsidizes corn production making that the cheapest option. said corn syrup was cheaper by like 100 times when youre talking train tankcars. There are plenty of premium us made sodas besides Mexican Coke

If it's legal to use HFCS in soft drinks in Mexico, and it costs 1% of what sugar does, why aren't bottlers importing HFCS and using it? Mexico isn't a rich country, If a rich country like the US is using cheap HFCS why aren't they? According to Wikipedia, we export 1/2 of the HFCS to (poor) countries like The Philipines, Indonesia, India, and Vietnam.

Ah, the Internet hath spoken: the reason they use real sugar in Mexico is because Mexico imposes very high tariffs on HFCS so the price and demand for sugar stays up.