Chess: your worst move, my best move

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Apr 20, 2021 10:27 pm

Could I beat pinback in chess if

1. He went out of his way to make the worst move he could think of without systematically exposing his king and

2. I'm trying my best to defeat him

I don't think I could do it in under 35 moves.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Wed Apr 21, 2021 4:41 am

Disagree.

I have sent you a link to our game on Discord. You play white.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Apr 21, 2021 4:48 am

I'm going to get the living shit kicked out of me. I have signed up for a beating most vicious!

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Wed Apr 21, 2021 6:34 am

I guess we need to clarify the rules. Here's my take:

1. If I'm about to be mated, I can defend.
2. If you're about to be mated, I can mate.

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Wed Apr 21, 2021 6:45 am

1. f3, followed by 1. f4, seem to be agreed upon to be the two worst opening moves.

Looking forward to watching the match unfold. I'll bring the popcorn.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Wed Apr 21, 2021 6:59 am

1. f3 2. g4 (f6/g5 for black) are the worst two moves because you can get mated on the next move.

(I'm not doing that, because I was asked not to intentionally, obviously get myself killed.)

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Apr 21, 2021 9:24 am

pinback wrote: Wed Apr 21, 2021 6:59 am 1. f3 2. g4 (f6/g5 for black) are the worst two moves because you can get mated on the next move.

(I'm not doing that, because I was asked not to intentionally, obviously get myself killed.)

Yeah, we want shitty moves but not so shitty that even a person like myself can see them.

I am ATTACKING THE CENTRE OF THE BOARD!!

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Wed Apr 21, 2021 9:54 am

You can all follow the game here: https://lichess.org/khr4siIMa4bs

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Apr 21, 2021 10:38 am

This was a debacle.

Jizaboz · Post by **Jizaboz** » Wed Apr 21, 2021 11:32 am

I still don't know how to play chess.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Apr 21, 2021 11:54 am

Don't use the replay of that game as any sort of guide.
I only "won" because Pinback left my queen up for like 10 turns with two pieces that could kill her.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Wed Apr 21, 2021 12:32 pm

Also on move 24, ...Qe1 was checkmate, but I forget I said I would do that, so I didn't. What a guy.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Apr 21, 2021 1:58 pm

Wait, you could have checkmated me??

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Wed Apr 21, 2021 2:38 pm

Yes, move 24.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Apr 21, 2021 4:30 pm

I would like to request a ?? in our notation.

Tdarcos · Post by **Tdarcos** » Wed Apr 21, 2021 4:55 pm

Jizaboz wrote: Wed Apr 21, 2021 11:32 am I still don't know how to play chess.

There is a very good article about Chess on Wikipedia. Even better, there is an excellent audio version of the article from about four years ago. I know the audio version is superb because I read it; it takes about one hour and fifteen minutes to listen to it. In fact, I need to re-record the article, I usually do it every 4-5 years, and I'm behind schedule.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Apr 21, 2021 7:07 pm

How much can we pay you to re read it and substitute the word knight throughout with horsie?

Casual Observer · Post by **Casual Observer** » Wed Apr 21, 2021 9:31 pm

Tdarcos wrote: Wed Apr 21, 2021 4:55 pm There is an excellent article about Chess on Wikipedia

Oh. My. God. This is absolutely earth shattering news. Does anyone else know about this? Who else knows about this, this, magical thing what do you call it. . . Wiki pedophilia?

Jizaboz · Post by **Jizaboz** » Thu Apr 22, 2021 12:59 am

Haha audio version it is then. I’ll try.

I know how some of the pieces move, especially the knight due to playing “Knight Moves” on Famicom/NES. Pawns move one or 2 spaces forward. Bishops move diagonal.. and other than that I’m lost and know jack dick about strategy.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Thu Apr 22, 2021 1:56 pm

May I suggest another version of this, where we both try our best, but I don't have, let's say, a queen. Or a queen and a bishop, or whatever.

Chess: your worst move, my best move

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