Smash Burger Week

[AArdvark]

What is the fat/smashburger ratio you are willing to live wirh?

THE
SCALES OF INJUSTICE
AARDVARK

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At this point I am happy to say I have the smashburger in my bag of tricks, but am ready to only bring it out on special occasions.

My wife and I reminisced about Fat Ben last night, and all the great things that happened for him (getting married, getting Mina), but we are both in agreement that though the scale may fluctuate here and there, Fat Ben is never coming back.

So we will look back on Smash Burger Week with nothing but fondness, but we will look back on it.

[The Happiness Engine]

OK, pls to explain what's wrong with overworking the meat. I mean I probably overwork the meat daily but rarely have hamburgers.

It has to do with the texture. Think of the difference between a breakfast sausage versus a hotdog.

Forming the patties is the most crucial step in the whole process. Using a thoroughly-chilled meat grinder or food processor and cubes of beef that have been placed in the freezer for 15 minutes prior to grinding, grind the meat directly onto a parchment paper or foil-lined baking sheet. Then—and this is key—form the beef into four-ounce patties without picking it up. That's right. Just push the beef together until it forms ragged piles that barely cling together.

Why would you want to do a thing like that? Well, it's got to do with the structure of meat. When ground, beef proteins are very sticky—particularly to each other. Given the chance, they'll cling to each other like Japanese school girls to Hello Kitty bento boxes, and the more you work them, the tighter they cling. Take a look at the photo below[1]:

crisp burger - 1.jpg
The burger on the left was formed by gently coaxing the meat into a pile. The patty on the right was formed by lifting the meat in my hands and gently shaping it into a patty. As gently as I could, really. Despite the gentle touch, the difference is readily apparent. The goal here is to keep the meat as loose as possible.

https://www.seriouseats.com/the-burger- ... n-or-woman

TL;DC: also the surface chars better (in a pan)

[Casual Observer]

Your saying overworking the meat chaffs the surface, I think that's true

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I had a burger at Freddy's tonight, are they mashing it?

[Casual Observer]

Why will Tdarcos not acknowledge my double entrende or pun? Is he dead?

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Round 3!

[AArdvark]

Three wins! Ahminna eat that thru my phone!

If I give you my current vacation address will you mail me six of them?


THE
UBER EATS
AARDVARK

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My cast-iron griddle is too small so I can only do three at a time, so are two shipments okay?

I'd like to discuss what I'm trying to do here. In my opinion, (and I honor and respect other opinions -- I am a friend to all burgers!), the best version of a burger is what I'm going to call the "California beach burger". It is exemplified by the primary offering at the Pier Burger in Santa Monica.

You can tell from the pictures/videos on that site that what I've done already kind of looks like a homemade, ham-handed, copycat attempt.

Here then is the relatively simple makeup of the California beach burger:

1 or 2 thin, smashed patties with American cheese on each of them.
Lettuce & tomato.
"Burger sauce".

The burger sauce is generally some variety of mayo/ketchup mix. The one I've started doing for my version is equal parts mayo and ketchup, with a teaspoon of pickle juice and a few shakes of garlic powder mixed in.

The sauce, combined with the tang and acidity of the tomato really complement the greasy gooey meaty cheesy thing, keeping it from feeling too heavy, the lettuce provides a nice textural contrast, and let's just admit that red, green and yellow (from the cheese) are the most beautiful burger color combination.

I cannot discuss this with DJ Larry, because in his opinion (and many others'), it's not a burger if there's no onion, pickle or mustard on there. My only counter to this is that each of those has such a strong flavor, that when working with the thin patties required by your "smashed" California burger, the beeftastic flavor can very easily be overwhelmed. So skip that stuff and let the burger essence envelope your mortal soul.

This is my goal.

[AArdvark]

You have the power to achieve your goals! Never ate a California burger as you have described

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Round 4:

The Competition-Style(*) Green Chile Cheeseburger



I'm gettin' surgical with this bitch, Jake.

(*) In New Mexico, they do green chile cheeseburger competitions, which require that the burgers are just the bun, the beef, the cheese, and the green chiles. Hence, competition-style. Also the only correct way to have a green chile cheeseburger.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

These look incredible. They look SO GOOD. Why am I not eating more green chile? I love it.

This is the WEEK OF GREEN.

[Tdarcos]

You know what goes best with smash burger?












Smash mouth.

[Jizaboz]

Hahahahaha

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Round 4: Pickles, onions, mustard, double American cheese. Spectacular.

[Jizaboz]

Yeah that one looks nice.

Useless fact: per the Burger King training manual 4 pickles go on a whopper and 2 on a regular burger. 4 pickles on a large burger seems to be a perfect balance!

[AArdvark]

[AArdvark]

Catsup, mustard and provolone

B+ for effort

[Casual Observer]

Yeah that one looks nice.

Useless fact: per the Burger King training manual 4 pickles go on a whopper and 2 on a regular burger. 4 pickles on a large burger seems to be a perfect balance!

I'm impressed. I never made it to sandwich building. I went straight from whopper machine to cashier. I never even got to fry station.

[Jizaboz]

Yeah that one looks nice.

Useless fact: per the Burger King training manual 4 pickles go on a whopper and 2 on a regular burger. 4 pickles on a large burger seems to be a perfect balance!

I'm impressed. I never made it to sandwich building. I went straight from whopper machine to cashier. I never even got to fry station.

Oh wow, you worked there too, eh? I did for almost 2 years when I was 18-19. Actually was my favorite fast food place to work but part of what made it nicer was I was one of a group of people (mostly Mexicans) that opened a new store. First position for me was fry station actually. I had this weird pride about never letting the grease go longer than 2 weeks before I would drain the vats, clean them, and add new grease. I ate fish and fries there kind of often so fuck some damn dirty ass grease! I refused to work front counter or drive thru.

As a closer I came up with a few tricks to clean good but fast. A bottle of degreaser and a hot water hose can do about anything heh.