OUT PATIENT

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Today I have get the fuck out patient surgery on my ankle. Let me answer your questions!

[pinback]

Is this to resolve a chronic condition, or did you fuck your ankle up in a specific, recent incident.

[Flack]

Wil you be able to tap dance after the surgery?

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

No tap dancing!!!

This is due to a mutant skin growth. I'm at the place now with my mom. Afterwards we are gonna get a bagel!

[Flack]

01. How long has this been planned?

02. Wouldn't it be cheaper to just buy high tops?

03. Any chance of jumping right to amputation to show solidarity with Paul?

04. Is this actually cankle surgery?

05. Will you be getting knocked out? Any fear of the doctor touching you inappropriately during the procedure? Any fear that he won't?

[ChainGangGuy]

06. Were bagels gotten?

[Casual Observer]

If so, were they Bruggers Bagles? Bruggers is the Krispy Kreme of Bagles, I fucking love the bagel machine, though a free bagel when they're making them like KK does would have been great. There's no such thing as a real bagel in NorCal and haven't yet found a decent one in Seattle area either. These people don't know that you boil the bagels before you bake them so they come out dry and full of holes. God do I miss Rochacha's food scene.

[AArdvark]

yeah but we're all sleep deprived apparently.

What UrgentCare is Jonsey attending and will there be pictures of the mutant parts?

THE
TIME LIFE
AARDVARK

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

01. How long has this been planned?

Two months, but the grotesque morphing of my body has been there for over a decade.

02. Wouldn't it be cheaper to just buy high tops?

In fact no! I had a $10 co-pay and that's it! If I can get British Knights for $9.99 then yes.

03. Any chance of jumping right to amputation to show solidarity with Paul?

Well if they did not get the "root" of it then yes, in 10 years just lop the goddamn leg off.

04. Is this actually cankle surgery?

I have distinct "body zones" that I keep in a spreadsheet.

05. Will you be getting knocked out? Any fear of the doctor touching you inappropriately during the procedure? Any fear that he won't?

I thought they would numb the entire leg, but you gotta give it to modern medicine, they can numb just the centimeter of area where the problem was. I turned away, got the numbing injection, then smelled burning as he got rid of the growth and then that was it. I walked out like it wasn't no thang.

MODERN MEDICINE! And they got rid of rinderpest too? Amazing!

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I had a eccrine poroma which is a benign genetic misconfiguration. It's gone now and I guess the way they analyze it I can't get it back.

[pinback]

Nice DNA, freak.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I expect to get picked up any minute now.

[Tdarcos]

Is this to resolve a chronic condition, or did you fuck your ankle up in a specific, recent incident.

Bzzzt! You failed to make your response in the form of a question, you lose 60 points.

[nessman]

I had a eccrine poroma which is a benign genetic misconfiguration. It's gone now and I guess the way they analyze it I can't get it back.

Foot cancer? That's a new one.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

06. Were bagels gotten?

Yes! My mom and I got bagels afterwards. They were delicious.

[Tdarcos]

06. Was meat gotten?

Yes! My mom and I got to eat the pieces they cut off afterwards. They were delicious.

Yeah, I know it's cheesy. But at least you can't say I put words in your mouth...

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I am not sure where the assumption that it's cancer is coming from. If I do get cancer I am keeping it to myself so all of you will feel bad for not being nicer to me, like what Norm Macdonald did.

[Flack]

All kidding aside, it has since come out that Norm died of cankle cancer.