Ruth's FREAKING Chris.

Violet · Post by **Violet** » Fri Aug 08, 2003 5:22 pm

Morgan Webb is no nerdy chick. She is just doing a script.

I wouldn't classify Janine Garafolo as a nerdy chick. I think that she is a bitchy chick. She is constantly type casted as the bitch too. Only reason she plays a bitch is because she is a commedian and not a size 0. That's the only way they can sell her on movies. At some point the directors probably told her to loose weight and she told them to shove it. They in effect decided to cast her as the bitchy chick forever.

They don't usually cast women in movies unless men want to do them. People making movies want to sell sex. They don't want to put normal looking people in movies because that doesn't sell. Hot chicks are a dime a dozen. Thats why when they get old they don't do movies much anymore. Old men always get movies. I don't want to see that though.

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Fri Aug 08, 2003 7:19 pm

Kathy Griffin ungagged?

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Mon Aug 11, 2003 8:30 am

I met a real hot chick this weekend. Redhead. Well, reddish-auburn.

She designs custom hardware for a living. We talked about the C-one and a really really really cool Apple II peripheral card she just did.

And I got her phone number.

Bruce

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Aug 11, 2003 9:23 am

I have to admit, that when we went to Ruth's Chris I was a little apprehensive. Could it live up to Ben's hype? Weren't we all in for a dissapointment?

But as I sat there, popcorn in hand, and watched it... I have to admit, it was just as good as he said. Every bit of it, from the camerawork to the acting to the dialogue was utterly fantastic.

It was... oh boy... well, it's true and there's no harm in that.

It was better than Mallrats.

(In all seriousness, I wasn't apprehensive in the least and that was the finest meal I've ever had in my life. As the chef and waiter haven't logged in yet, let me instead send over my complements to Mr Parrish. Well played, Pinback... Well played!)

Jethro Q. Walrustitty · Mon Aug 11, 2003 9:52 am

Violet wrote:Morgan Webb is no nerdy chick. She is just doing a script.

Ehh, I think she might really be a nerdy chick.

They don't usually cast women in movies unless men want to do them. People making movies want to sell sex. They don't want to put normal looking people in movies because that doesn't sell. Hot chicks are a dime a dozen. Thats why when they get old they don't do movies much anymore. Old men always get movies. I don't want to see that though.

Well, I didn't think it could be done, but you've actually managed to offend me. (Or maybe I'm just in a bad mood as I spilled half of my container of yogurt all over the place as soon as I clicked on this thread. Several minutes later, I've cleaned yogurt off my chair, pants, desk, laptop bag, notepad, and floor. The positive side is that my cube will now have the refreshing scent... of blueberries!)

Explain then, if you will, the continued film career of Kathy Bates. Especially the part about her being full-frontal nude in About Schmidt. She is hardly inspiring much lust amongst the male moviegoers.

And, we could come out with countless examples of guys who are terrible actors but continue to get roles because of their "look" - Brad Pitt, Keanu Reeves, etc.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Aug 11, 2003 9:58 am

Hey, JQW -- what on earth did you mean by "Easter Bunny" earlier in this thread? The five us discussed this in Vegas, and none of us could decypher your meaning there. (In case you have forgotten just where you stabbed me in the back with your foil of lies, it was underneath my picture in this thread, page two I think.)

Jethro Q. Walrustitty · Mon Aug 11, 2003 10:12 am

The picture made you appear to have buck teeth. That was the first thing I noticed about it.

I thought it was extra comedy that of all the people on the planet, I laid out a little "bad teeth" smack to someone else. Ah, ha. Ha. Ha.

Hence, that is the "magic" of the Easter Bunny line.

It's good to know that, while in one of the most party-happy towns in the country, attending a convention about something near and dear to all our childhoods, you masters of conversation had nothing better to jaw about that the comedy stylings of one Mr. Walrustitty.

Oh, and I know that most of those folks hate me and everything I stand for, so you better have gotten my motherfucking back, bitch. Otherwise, expect me to take a dump on your C64 which is in my parent's basement... "Commode-door", indeed.

Jethro Q. Walrustitty · Mon Aug 11, 2003 10:14 am

BTW, if you didn't like the Easter Bunny comment, I can start on the crow's nest that is your hair... or the fact that your forehead looks a bit larger than last time I saw you.

But, I guess that kind of thing should be saved for the Troll Room.

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Mon Aug 11, 2003 10:42 am

I thought the bunny comment was dead on.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Aug 11, 2003 11:25 am

Jethro Q. Walrustitty wrote:The picture made you appear to have buck teeth. That was the first thing I noticed about it.

Oh, OK. That was a side effect of the filters I ran it through, I think. Jesus, I hope that I don't come off as a buck-toothed person in real life. My mother spent a lot of money on my braces, narmean?

I thought it was extra comedy that of all the people on the planet, I laid out a little "bad teeth" smack to someone else. Ah, ha. Ha. Ha.

Fair enough.

Oh, and I know that most of those folks hate me and everything I stand for, so you better have gotten my motherfucking back, bitch. Otherwise, expect me to take a dump on your C64 which is in my parent's basement... "Commode-door", indeed.

Fear not. I was the Dirk to your Daphne.

Jethro Q. Walrustitty · Mon Aug 11, 2003 1:42 pm

The Donkey Kong to my... geez, did that helpless bitch even have a name?

No, wait, if it's a DK reference (and not Da King), it'd be Mario to the chick. That's a bit of a creepy reference, though.

Just as long as you weren't the Custer to my Indian princess (or whoever the chick was in Custer's Revenge.) Ugh.

If it makes you feel better, you don't come across as a buck-toothed beaver in real life. If you did, I would not notice it enough to comment on it in your picture.

Too bad there were five of you there and yet none of you got the reference which Worm - left behind like that last robot on a Berzerk board where Evil Ed is nipping at your ass - did get.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Aug 11, 2003 3:04 pm

Evil Ed?!!

I think you mean Evil Otto, Captain Reference.

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Mon Aug 11, 2003 3:55 pm

Jethro Q. Walrustitty wrote:The Donkey Kong to my... geez, did that helpless bitch even have a name?

"Pauline", you semiliterate fucktard.

Bruce

ICJ's Steak · Post by **ICJ's Steak** » Tue Aug 12, 2003 8:04 am

OW! OW! MotherFUCK! OW! That's HOT!

I mean, really, who goes to --OW!--Ruth's Chris and--OW!--orders a steak medium OW! well??

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Aug 12, 2003 11:14 am

ICJ's Steak wrote:OW! OW! MotherFUCK! OW! That's HOT!

I mean, really, who goes to --OW!--Ruth's Chris and--OW!--orders a steak medium OW! well??

Well, well, well. Lookee here. Y'all decided to bust up on Jonsey.

I went to school in Hilton, NY for 12 years. Had six years of post-secondary education. Never ONCE did I hear something like, "When you're going to an upscale restaurant, never get your steak medium well."

NEVER. ONCE.

The thing is, I usually get my steak products rare -- which would have trumped you sissies -- it's just that the last couple of times that I have had steak I've been... ah... worried about the "magic" of the establishments that I was eating in. And in this case, by "magic" I mean the trick where the magician bites into an apple and it appears to be a bite filled with quality fruit, and when the mark from the audience bites into the apple it's filled with maggots, tapeworms, roundworms, amoebas and a melted-together and altogether inexplicably-present amalgam of a staple and a nail.

You guys definitely pounced, however, on my moment of weakness.

Waiter: And you, sir?
ICJ: Steak, medium well
Pinback: Nooooooo!!!
Bruce: Aaarrghghhhhhhh!!!!!!
Roody: SWEET CHRIST NO
Vitriola: The old you would have never ordered that!

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Aug 12, 2003 11:19 am

Two other things:

1) The 'medium well' thing pretty much is my personal "gazpacho soup."

2) It's been four days now and not a word from Parrish. He never called anyone regarding breakfast on Saturday, I haven't seen him here, and nothing via e-mail either. Now, I should state that he killfiled me in e-mail before the trip, due to the fact that said some things that now (upon retrospect) I'd... yeah, probably like to take back. But I think we need to prepare for the inevitable:

Benjamin "Pinback" Parrish was killed driving back to his hotel Friday night.*

* I think. Not yet completely verified.

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Tue Aug 12, 2003 1:28 pm

Actually, funny you should mention that, because as I was unpacking, in a moment of post-Vegas despair in which chocolate martinis were not automatically put into my hand within 1.2 seconds of me draining my glass, I decided to upturn the bottle of Jim Beam I somehow wound up with into the place where Beam is usually upturned, i.e. down my throat, and, upon noticing that there was no sweet, sweet, disgusting cheap whiskey forthcoming from said bottle down said throat, I decided to have a beer and investigate. Turns out the mummified head of Ben 'Pinback' Parrish had floated to the top of the bottle and lodged itself into the neck of my solace. That's right, he actually crawled into a bottle of whiskey, and is currently being stared at by 2 cats on a shelf with a Sonic stuffed animal and a bong. Cheers.

Jim Beam · Post by **Jim Beam** » Tue Aug 12, 2003 1:34 pm

I decided to upturn the bottle of Jim Beam I somehow wound up with into the place where Beam is usually upturned, i.e. down my throat,

::fingerguns::

Jethro Q. Walrustitty · Tue Aug 12, 2003 2:02 pm

Yep, Evil Otto. Evil Ed = the guy with the huge mouth from Evil Dead II. Got the references to two things that I love garbled.

As for Donkey Kong, I'm not madly in love with it, so I don't mind not knowing who the chick was. I mean, it's not like that told you her name; you had to read the backstory in the home versions or something. I can see someone being a fucktard for not knowing Inky, Pinky, Blinky, and Clyde - but c'mon, cut me a little slack for not knowing Pauline.

Jonsey: should said that you were channeling "Gandhi 2" from UHF. Though now that I think about it, he got it MR rather than MW.
"Gimme a steak! Medium rare!"

Me? Well done, dammit. I want pink in the bedroom, not on my dinner plate. Jonsey, I have your back on that one.

When I saw pink, I mean pinkish meat, not necessarily the so-called singer who calls herself Pink. Though she'd certainly be a better lay than than that doesn't-shave-her-pits bitch Garafolo.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Aug 12, 2003 2:15 pm

Jethro Q. Walrustitty wrote:Yep, Evil Otto. Evil Ed = the guy with the huge mouth from Evil Dead II. Got the references to two things that I love garbled.

Don't feel bad. I'm simply a much better person than you. If I wasn't, I would have asked you to provide more incorrect Berzerk data and I'm sure you would have said something like:

JQW wrote:I really like Berzerk because of when it says "Get the humanoid, get the rooster" and when it says "Quarter detected in pocket."

Additionally, I should note that I wrote a fair bit of a (completely unreleased in all forms) book based on the Fallacy of Dawn game and introduced a character called "Evil Otto" at the beginning. Someday, if I ever get that thing finished, I'm going to make two additions to it:

1) A scene where someone buys a "Family Pack" of Roofies
2) A sentence where Evil Otto wears a t-shirt that says, "JQW DOESN'T KNOW ME" on the front and "JQW HUMPS COCK" on the back.

As for Donkey Kong, I'm not madly in love with it, so I don't mind not knowing who the chick was. I mean, it's not like that told you her name; you had to read the backstory in the home versions or something. I can see someone being a fucktard for not knowing Inky, Pinky, Blinky, and Clyde - but c'mon, cut me a little slack for not knowing Pauline.

Was she supposed to eventually be "The Princess" in the side scroller games?

Furthermore -- two Marios lift Donkey Kong up to the top of the board in Donkey Kong Jr. Surely someone has a theory on what was going on with THAT. It sure wasn't Luigi by his side.

Me? Well done, dammit. I want pink in the bedroom, not on my dinner plate. Jonsey, I have your back on that one.

Yes, but normally I do get them rare... it was just that I got in the habit of not... oh, never mind.

This thread took a turn straight towards Emasculation Avenue, so I think it's best if I bow out around here.

When I saw pink, I mean pinkish meat, not necessarily the so-called singer who calls herself Pink. Though she'd certainly be a better lay than than that doesn't-shave-her-pits bitch Garafolo.

I'd hit them both. WITH A CROWBAR HO HO HO.