We gotta be nicer to each other

[D.Finsternis]

ICJ is the only one who can ban accounts, and all of your accounts are banned.

Then why did he un-ban me when I asked? Why didn't he answer when I asked if it was malicious? And why did he change his mind the next day? The world may never know.

[pinback]

There's only one thing the world will never know, and that's the arrest story.

[D.Finsternis]

Ok, of all the souls I've encountered on JC, Fin is the most . . . H . .
Human. Let's keep him.

I am in fact human, Kirk. If you cut me, do I not bleed?

I don't really care what happens. I will never change my commitment to honesty, truth, frankness, and candor.

[D.Finsternis]

No we won't. We're cool with you. We don't even commit to fully hating a murder suicide guy so by comparison you're awesome.

Youre cool with me?? Yeah - riiiight. "It's a trap!" If I cared enough about this place to care whether I stayed or not, I'd go back and get the quotes from you and everyone else detailing at great length the strength and depth of your loathing of me, and your repeated requests for me to leave. Not all of them, just the first hundred or so. And I should believe you now why, exactly? You just want to hear the story because I'm the most interesting thing to happen on this board since.... the last time I was here.

Years ago I came in good faith to one of Ben's old forums, and gradually followed him around his various dozen or so attempts. For some reason I had thought it would be fun because I believed we were good friends. But he disabused me of that notion right away by constantly ridiculing and mocking me and encouraging everyone else to do the same. I tried hard to get along, but when I tried to change the subject to cooking with a chili recipe, he mercilessly insulted it and me for no reason at all. When it's literally impossible to say anything, no matter how harmless or neutral,, without being torn apart by harpies, does it surprise anyone that maybe they would not be met by smiles and hugs in response? I finally realized it wasn't friendly teasing, that he meant ever insult fully and literally. I realized he really was just what he seemed - a giant dick and a crappy, faithless friend. He says he means me well, but hates my guts and calls me poison. Fucking psychopath.

You want me to be your punching bag again? Do I amuse you? What, did you run out of fourth-grade fat jokes? I spent a long time writing up my story about the insane interviewer, and Ben has never stopped ridiculing me for it.

You wanna hear the story? Then go through every message on the board and delete each one that insults or ridicules me. That should take a year or two. Then I want an individual, seeply sincere apology from each one of you. And then beg me to tell it. Then you get the story. It’s a good one, too. I'll just hold my breath for all of you to suddenly gain insight, empathy, and compassion. I'm sure your individual enlightnenments and epiphanies will happen real soon now.

And Ben has yet to explain why, if he hates me so much, he is googling my name on a regular basis. How he can even speak the term "lovingkindness" without his mouth bursting into flame from pure, raw, elemental hypocrisy is beyond me. He literally can't conceive of such a thing, let alone experience it. He talks a good game about eastern philosophy, but he hasn't understood the most basic thing about it.

So, fuck off.

[D.Finsternis]

There's only one thing the world will never know, and that's the arrest story.

It will happen when you harpies gain enlightenment and compassion. So, yeah - never.

[AArdvark]

Can we just make up a cool story and pretend it's yours?

[pinback]

Can we all just guess what the story was and you can tell us if any of us got it right?

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Whoa whoa whoa. The interview story is one of the greatest tales ever told. Nobody blames you for any of that. In what you wrote you even say, hey, I'm not 100% without fault, but look at this guy. Which is a humble thing to say because the old guy in the story is a thousand percent at fault and should be locked up, not running around.

[Flack]

Then I want an individual, seeply sincere apology from each one of you.

I'm sorry I... ?

What, did you run out of fourth-grade fat jokes?

That seems unlikely, captain.

[Angry Stewart Payne]

I didn't apologize to that bus I ran off the road.

Apoligizing is a WEAKNESS

[AArdvark]

Can we hear a retelling of the interview story then? Jonsey says it's pretty good

[pinback]

Here's the story (not the peeing story, which we will never hear), the interview one: https://pinback.net/moltobenny/snt/wie.html

[Angry Stewart Payne]

"I pissed my pants due to conflict."

Great story.

[D.Finsternis]

Whoa whoa whoa. The interview story is one of the greatest tales ever told. Nobody blames you for any of that. In what you wrote you even say, hey, I'm not 100% without fault, but look at this guy. Which is a humble thing to say because the old guy in the story is a thousand percent at fault and should be locked up, not running around.

Frankly I don't remember the story that well. I mean, I remember the basics of what went down, but I wrote it up right after it happened so it has a lot of details have since been forgotten. Maybe someday I'll see if I saved a copy somewhere and read it again. I remember being happy with it.

I actually have a whole bunch of similar stories I could write up, but since the audience would be people who hate my guts, I have far better things to spend my priceless time on.

[D.Finsternis]

Here's the story (not the peeing story, which we will never hear), the interview one: https://pinback.net/moltobenny/snt/wie.html

Gah. Could you pick a smaller font size, please? My microscope was still able to read this size.

I think I'm going to go soon. I'm fucking tired of typing 14468.

[pinback]

Why you peein' in public, bro? Why you gettin' arrested, bro?

[AArdvark]

That interview story was great!

[pinback]

Just wait 'til you hear the arrest story! (You will not.)

[Tdarcos]

Here's the story (not the peeing story, which we will never hear), the interview one: https://pinback.net/moltobenny/snt/wie.html

I liked your story. There are people who are on such hair triggers that anything can set them off, and if they're sociopathic they could be capable of anything, up to and including murder. Consider Joe Pesci's character Tommy in Goodfellas; the "do you think I'm funny" scene is an example; Ray Liota's character Henry is afraid he insulted Tommy, and he might retaliate, until he figures out that it's a gag. But we know how mercurial Tommy's temper is; his severely injuring a bartender, and later killing him, for effectively nothing, proves that.

The law has a term to define certain speech as being unprotected by the First Amendment: "true threats," speech that threatens imminent lawless action. There is also the "fighting words" doctrine: speech that is likely to immediately trigger assaults. This guy had clearly crossed the line, and while I am not saying you should have, it is very likely if you had hit him just enough to stop him, so that you could leave, you would not have been prosecuted. In fact, once he grabbed you that is criminal assault - especially if he did it in front of witnesses - and you are allowed to use reasonable force to stop him. If you did just enough to knock him out, so he can't follow you, that's acceptable. Do not concern yourself about the fact you let him get your goat; nobody expects anyone to be a doormat. I will add that your decision not to assault him in response showed you have really significant restraint.

I'll say this much, hr'd better not do this again with someone stronger than him and not having real restraint; if he pushes it, in that fight he might end up in the hospital. Or the morgue.

You probably didn't think of it at that time, but the first time he put his hands on you, that's criminal assault. Try to make sure they would do it, say to the receptionist, "Call the police now! Otherwise I'll have to hurt him to make him stop." That way you're in the right, his assault gets him taken downtown, or makes him come to his senses and breaks it off. If it stops him, and they can restrain him, you can leave. Otherwise, he leaves first - in handcuffs.

In Robert A. Heinlein's Star Beast there is a scene where a diplomat acts rude toward someone being unreasonable to get an advantage. He tells his subordinate, "There's an old saying, 'Sometimes you have to step on the other person's toes until they apologize.'"

Yeah, maybe I'm playing Monday Morning Quarterback on this, but sometimes threatening to, or actually calling the police, can do wonders to de-escalate a situation.

[AArdvark]

I was thinking the interview story would make a great IF puzzle.

WAITING ROOM

You have entered the waiting room of Silly-Name Industries. There are a few plastic chairs, a fake plant in one corner and a coffee table here. On the table are some old magazines.
The hallway is North and there is a door to the South.

]S

The office door is locked, because you can't just walk in like you owned the place.

]wait

Time passes.

]N

As you stat to leave your eye catches a particular article on the cover of a magazine. (House Fancier, naturally) You sit back down to read it.

(ect, ect. What happens is the player can't progress until they type 'wait' three times. After the player types 'wait' three times, an attempt to leave triggers...)

]Exit N

Just as you are about to leave a receptionist pokes her head in from the office door and says Mr. Dikhed will see you now. You follow her to the....



INTERVIEW ROOM

This is a shabby little office containing a desk and two chairs. There is a form on the desk. Sitting behind the desk is Mr. Dikhed. He appears to have anger issues.

(At this point anything the player does or says will result in escalating arguments in a very silly manner, similar to the Abuse room in the Argument Clinic sketch by Monty Python, ect, ect. The idea is to leave the interview room without getting into a fight. Bonus points if the player removes the form from the garbage can and take it with them. (at some point it gets crumpled up and tossed in the garbage can) Any wrong move results in a fight where Dikhed pulls a gun from the desk and kills the player )

THE
YOU HAVE DIED.
YOUR SCORE IS 15/50
AARDVARK