PODS Comedy

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We are moving at the end of the month. We went the PODS route. We have done so before, and it has always gone smoothly. As my Wordle stats can attest to, all streaks eventually come to an end.

The purpose of this is not to dissuade anyone from using PODS, because I mean, it's a great service, at a reasonable price, and takes a lot of the headaches out of moving. However, today was pretty funny.

Couple weeks ago, Kathy calls them to get two PODS. The idea is, we get one, fill it up, then they come and take that one away and leave a second one, which we will then fill up and then they can take that one away later. There's not room enough for two here, so we had to do it one at a time. I overheard part of the conversation, and at one point she had to clarify that her name wasn't "Perish", it was "Parrish".

A week passed, and since it was all done so quickly, we couldn't recall the actual date we asked for the first one to be dropped off. With juggling six different contractors and services, sometimes the dates blur together. So last Saturday morning, as Kathy heads off to work, she asks me to call them and find out what our schedule is. Sure thing, baby!

About an hour later I get a call from her saying "I just got a call, they'll be there in a half hour." Okay, so I guess we know the first date.

Today my job was to call and actually find out all the other dates, and to make sure things are all set. PODS customer service is full-Indian-outsourced, which I can tell because I had to ask them to repeat the question two out of three times. However, the first thing I heard was "Yes, your first POD is scheduled to arrive today."

B-- but it's... /points outside... it's right out there, and has been there since Saturday.

Twenty minutes on hold later, okay, someone must not have "timestamped" the delivery correctly, or some crap. Then we went through the other dates, which I wanted to change one of them. Struggling to understand each other, though, we got through it, and it sounded pretty good, so we thanked each other, she gave me the login credentials to the website, and we hung up. Then I went to the website, which shows your order.

"Welcome, Kathy Perish" it read. Uh oh.

I went to the orders page, and it was as if she had heard every fifth word I said (which is possible, given the connection and the language barrier) because four out of every five things we had confirmed were wrong. And it still said, "May 17 (today) delivery, 2-5 PM."

I call back again, and get a different agent, with a better connection, but much worse Indienglish. God bless her, though, after another half hour, we confirmed and reconfirmed and reconfirmed all the details about what was supposed to arrive where, and I ("Kathy Perish") logged onto the website and confirmed again, yep, it all looks good now, except for the POD arriving today (May 17) which is already in our driveway. She assured me that that was just a mistake and that everyone was told not to deliver the POD today because it was already there. She even fixed "my" name, so now I am, in fact, Kathy Parrish.

All was well, until two hours later, when the PODS truck showed up with our brand new container, which must have confused the driver, because wait, there's already one in the driveway. I went out and explained I'd been on the phone for two hours and they super-double-assured me that this wouldn't happen, but there he was. He drove away after letting me know he'd go ahead and cancel this one.

Then I went back on the website and tried the "Live Chat" option. If you use PODS, never call them, always do the Live Chat option. It's the same Injuns, but their typing is much easier to understand than their voice (for me.) The point here was just to make sure that they knew that I had a POD, and that was the one that was going to be picked up, and this wasn't some colossal clusterfuck where they were gonna go "Welp, I guess they cancelled the one on May 17" and this POD would be sitting here for the rest of our lives. He was helpful, and quick, and when I log in now, it shows our exact container ID as have been being delivered today (we agreed just to pretend that's what happened) and everything seems on track. Will update as things go off the track.

Bonus Comedy #1: Our city is listed there as "LIBERTY TWP" (Liberty Township) so on the phone they would confirm we were in "Liberty Twip".

Bonus Comedy #2: When my wife put in the order, they asked for a security question/answer. The question was "What is your favorite vacation spot?" Her answer was "Scotland". On the website, you can see they typed it in as "Scott Land". I... I don't want to vacation there.

[Casual Observer]

Try ABF boxes next time, their customer service is local US. Used them 3 times now (Rochester --> Seattle = 1 box, Seattle --> CA = 2 boxes, CA --> Everett= 3 boxes, this sucks).

[AArdvark]

Ohhhh, you like a slurpee, miss Perish! BA-HE-NA!

THE
SIX ARMS
AARDVARK

Why you moving? Didn't you just move like two years ago?

Should move to New York State!

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Try ABF boxes next time, their customer service is local US. Used them 3 times now (Rochester --> Seattle = 1 box, Seattle --> CA = 2 boxes, CA --> Everett= 3 boxes, this sucks).

Okay cool, yeah, I'll totally do that.

Oh wait.



Maybe I'll check out this "Pods" they recommend.

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Why you moving? Didn't you just move like two years ago?

Four years ago. That's enough, and we do not fit in well with the suburban cul-de-sac lifestyle. We tried. I did a Facebook post in our local community group saying we were moving, and asking for someone to lend us a hand truck, and all I got was a "like".

Should move to New York State!

I'd rather move to Ohio.

[AArdvark]

Are you being shunned by the uppity white folks? Those snooty bastards!

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They don't take kindly to our types around here.

[Casual Observer]

21 miles? Why not go with two guys and a truck off craigslist? It's way cheaper and you get some help loading. Or a u-haul if you insist on loading yourself.

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This guy's full of ideas! Is there anything he doesn't know??

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I'm going to fix these iss

[U-Haul]

This guy's full of ideas! Is there anything he doesn't know??

How much did ya spend on Pods, buddy. Was it more $19.99 a day?

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Slightly more than that, but not too much. Also, I was not in the mood for the instructions in their name. I don't want to haul. I want "ME-haul". Referring to you.

[Pods.com]

3 16'Pods, 21 miles, $924.00
3 12' Pods, 21 miles, $864.00

2 Guys and a truck = $200
U-Haul = <$100

$724 = money that can't be spent on hidden beer

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I realize you have a mental illness, so I'm willing to work with you here. All of your takes are wrong, and wildly unrealistic in our scenario. But your gag here is spouting terrible opinions about things you have no idea what you're talking about, and you are mentally ill, so I am happy you are enjoying participating!

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Also it's not called "2 Guys and a truck".

[Casual Observer]

2 Men and a 20 Foot Truck, $90, close enough.

https://cincinnati.craigslist.org/lbs/d ... 59721.html

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$90 to move a four-bedroom house? Sweet, I'll do that! Thanks man!

[Flack]

We hired a moving company called "My Two Sons" and when they showed up it was an older white guy with two younger helpers, one black and one Hispanic. I said before we got started I was going to need to see some birth certificates. Turns out movers are not known for their sense of humor.