Is Cincinnati "Food Hell"?

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How do we rate cities with regard to their food scene? For me, the main two factors are:

1. How are the regional specialties?
2. How good is the other, common stuff you can get anywhere?

POINT 1:

I give extra points if a place even has regional specialties. For a guy in Denver casting aspersions at Cincinnati, that's pretty rich. Denver's specialty is green chile, except they just steal it from New Mexico. Denver has no specialties. J'ACCUSE!

Cincinnati, on the other hand, has several, which the argument is going to be that they all suck, but let's take a look!

1. "Chili": It is absolutely named incorrectly, and retro game preservationists may object to the use of neon orange mild cheddar as the mandatory topping, and everyone else may object to putting "chili" on spaghetti, but the fact is, it's unique and great. If you get past your hate and prejudice, there's no way you don't like it. Admit it.

2. Steak hoagies: This is harder to defend, because it's a processed, frozen meat patty on a bun, and it would probably not taste as good in any other town, but dammit, it's different, it's unique, and you can only get it here.

3. Goetta: This is objectively great, as long as you're a fan of haggis, or scrapple, or any of the other regional/national versions of this. Objectively great!

4. Double-decker sandwiches: This is dumb, and I've never (and will never) have one. POINT DEDUCTED.

5. Frisch's Big Boy and copycats: Burger, lettuce, cheese, pickles, and tartar sauce. Sounds gross until you try it. Then it doesn't.

6. "Creamy whip": What they call soft-serve ice cream. It's everywhere, and it's the best you've ever had.

7. Beloved regional chains: LaRosa's pizza, Montgomery Inn BBQ. These are pretty damn bad! POINT DEDUCTED!

No, it's no New Mexican green chile, or Chicago deep dish pizza, but at least it's something.

POINT 2:

There's great places around for any of the stuff you like. There's no arguing pizza with a Rochesterian, but of the ten best pizzas I've ever had, at least three of them have been from here. Name me a standard 'merican food you like, and I can take you to a place within 20 minutes of my house that you will like. The "extreme" wings at the place right down the street are the best I ever had. Again, you're from Rochester so there's no talking to you, but come on out, and I'll show you what's up.

I will now rank the cities I've lived in/near in the past 20 years by food:

1. Albuquerque
2. Seattle
3. Nashville
4. Cincinnati
5. Los Angeles
6. Denver

You're in FOOD HELL!!!!!!!!

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And when's the last time YOU went to GOETTA-FEST?!?!

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I've got some thinking to do on this, granted.

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Last point: This city was built by Greek and German immigrants, so all of the local flavor is infused with that history.

And if you don't like Greek or German food, well, I can't help ya.

Note, in this thread I am defending Cincinnati, an absolutely indefensible place. But I'm stuck here, and I actually like my house now, so... I guess I'm from here now.

[AArdvark]

The real test:
Will this be the LAST state you live in?
Do you like WKRP?
What, exactly, is between those slices of bread?
What's a Goetta fest( no google)
Is that an ipa?

Theres a dog in a bicycle basket, a-la Toto. Is that ok with you?

And...you can talk to Rochester people about pizza and wings, as long as you agree with them

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Will this be the LAST state you live in?

Unlikely, but more likely than any of the previous states I've lived in.

Do you like WKRP?

Very much, except you can't watch it anymore, because they had to replace all of the real music with public domain/generic elevator music, which ruins the entire vibe of the show. Terrible. Is there any way to watch the original episodes? Does anyone know?

What, exactly, is between those slices of bread?

Goetta. It was a veritable FEST of Goetta.

What's a Goetta fest( no google)

It's a veritable FEST of Goetta.

Is that an ipa?

Warsteiner.

Theres a dog in a bicycle basket, a-la Toto. Is that ok with you?

Bonus points if he can make the thing fly.

And...you can talk to Rochester people about pizza and wings, as long as you agree with them

I do not.

[AArdvark]

Bonus points if he can make the thing fly.

That was E.T.

Dog needs to bite Margret Hamilton for extra points.

THE
WARSTEINER IS GOOD
AARDVARK

[Flack]

Which is more important: having unique foods, or having great versions of foods that are available elsewhere?

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

What do you mean, "You do not."

Rochester does the best pizza and wings on planet earth. I am going to shift the conversation to that, because you otherwise laid your points out with scathing logic and precision.

[Jizaboz]

How close is the nearest grocery store?

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Rochester does the best pizza and wings on planet earth. I am going to shift the conversation to that, because you otherwise laid your points out with scathing logic and precision.

As a wise, great man once said,

Again, you're from Rochester so there's no talking to you

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

You have a weird hang up about this. Which I get, aside from me, your exposure to the people and culture of that area have had some tricky, unavoidable dings.

But I guarantee you, if someone from any other remote, tiny city had people make a strong yet valid claim, you'd be all for it, dancing in indie food glory. This reflects on you, not us.

Now pardon us while we shoot some undercover cops in the head.

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your exposure to the people and culture

How many cities have you lived in?

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Six.

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This wasn't the point, anyway. Okay, Rochester has the best wings and pizza. Cincinnati has very good wings and pizza. And regional specialties. And a thriving food truck and international scene.

This is not Food Hell.

That was the point.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Sorry, I was trying to be silly and change the subject rather than come to grips with the fact that you correctly identified that I live in a place with no regional dishes.

How is it possible? How is it possible for a place the size of Denver to have NO regional dishes??

What I thought I observed about Cincinnati is that they have some "U-shaped" regional dishes. Extreme at both ends. I thought the slab of pork product was something people ate but did not enjoy. But you're telling me it is good! So now I don't know what to think.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Aside from the chicken wings and pizza thing, Rochester has the concept of going to get "hots", of which the garbage plate is a member of that family. There's also beef on weck and "hard rolls." There is the "Denver Omelet" but I would be surprised if that originated here.

Oklahoma has the wonderful onion burger. All these regional foods are great. How ... how did this skip over the area?

How is this acceptable?

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How is it possible? How is it possible for a place the size of Denver to have NO regional dishes??

[Casual Observer]

\
2. Seattle

Besides Salmon, Oysters, Teriyaki and Pho, what other amazing foods do you recommend that I may be missing that are unique to Seattle? Actually, I could live just on those things alone.

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Yeah, what else is there?

I'd add clam-related things to that list. Ivar's clam chowder? Get outta here.