Au contraire mon frère, I must respectfully disagree with your assessment. Writers are always the most critical of their own works.Flack wrote: Sun Dec 08, 2019 9:35 pm Oh no! I missed Aardvark's word! I will get "turgid" in the next time I do this.
The story is not great, but I managed to cram all the words in.
For a story that had to be designed to add all those words, and yet still be interesting, I'd say it was pretty good. No wait, strike that, it doesn't deserve that assessment. It's far better, I'd say it was damn good. You have talent as a writer.
It fits the most important points a good story must do; be entertaining, and leave the audience wanting more. It hits both points. I'd like to know how he ended up grabbing Felix, what his name was, and what happened to them.
Maybe the two of them go into business together, bounty hunters who specialize in capturing kidnappers. Felix caught him trespassing at Felix's estate, and held him at blaster-point, but that was his intent, so he could grab Felix and steal his slingshot. Maybe, at some point, they're asked how they got into this like of work. Then you could borrow that line from the Eagles' Life in the Fast Lane: She held him up, then he held her for ransom (in the heart of the cold, cold city). Changed, of course, to fit the narrative.
