Get your mad on for LOTR!

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 6:12 pm

Too poor to actually write new content myself, I refer you all to here: http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/film/50reasons.html

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 6:57 pm

I guess that was supposed to be like the TruthMedia review, except not funny.

You know, I just saw LotR for the first time on Monday, and I have to say:

Yeah, it was good.

What it WASN'T was "GREAT!!!" It was good. It was amazing to look at, and had way too many long, boring, reflective scenes (*).

(*) Note, I'm not complaining about "long, reflective scenese", which I often like. I don't like long, BORING, reflective scenes. What I thought made LotR's scenes boring was that with the exception of the wizard dude, the characters were too paper-thin and nondescript to care about. I guess if you're a big fan of the books, you imbue these mediocre actors with a lot more emotional capacity than they actually displayed, but for the rest of us, it looks like a bunch of guys sitting around reading hackneyed lines.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 7:08 pm

Right, I had the exact same reaction. The wizard guy was cool. Aragon there was still the same slimeback who was fucking Gwenyth Palthrow in that Michael Douglas movie. The human who dies I didn't care for at all. I did like Frodo for whatever reason.

I've read most of the first book and gotten a better sense of appreciation for a few characters (the dead human, Boromir I think his name is). In the movie you're given no reason to really see him as something other than a piece of crap with no willpower. (Fuck, there's a Green Lantern joke here somewhere, especially with the fact that rings are involved and how willpower drives GL's ring, but I can't articulate it.) I warmed up to him a bit via the novel, but it's folly to expect someone to trudge through those things in order to like a guy on-screen a little more.

The only scene in the thing that I really didn't like was then the elf bitch (who I thought was Palthrow, but apparently not) has her little flight with temptation. Where's the goddamn payoff? She does nothing but tell you, "hey, I resisted the ring. I'm the fucking champ." Great, bitch, maybe you should get out of your tree fort and get on the damn quest, they could use people not driven to possess it and all. Slut. She-elf bitch-ho.

And I don't get how guys my age were getting so gay for Legolas, either.

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 7:23 pm

Hey, G, that she-elf bitch-ho was HIZZY-hot.

I also didn't like this scene:

"Here we are in a raft! This sure looks like a long river! I hear the next town over is like 20 miles down! This trip sure will be long and arduous!"

CUT TO...

"Ah, here we are already out of the raft knocking on doors like we just came from our trailers!"

And I didn't like Frodo because his neck was way too wide. Wider than his head, even.

I also don't like how my life has degenerated once again into a 24-hour "refresh-button" party.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 7:31 pm

Wait, you were digging that elf bitch? I don't mean Liv Tyler the elf queen there, I mean the one played by Kate whatsherface.

I had a girlfriend tell me that a (guy) friend of hers was "part elf" once, in complete seriousness. Much how Bruce no longer believes in cultural relativism , I no longer believed in subculture relativism after that comment. As far as I'm concerned, it's better to spend a stupid amount of time clicking on an elf depicted shoddily on your computer than to go out and believe someone when they say they are a bit Irish and a bit frigging half-elf.

I also don't like how my life has degenerated once again into a 24-hour "refresh-button" party

You were only going to write buggy code at work today anyway. You're saving them money in the long run. (Me, too, on this.)

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 7:50 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Wait, you were digging that elf bitch? I don't mean Liv Tyler the elf queen there, I mean the one played by Kate whatsherface.

Aw, yeah baby. That little overbite thing? Mmm. I got somethin' she can overbite.

You were only going to write buggy code at work today anyway. You're saving them money in the long run. (Me, too, on this.)

Well, that's certainly true.

Speaking of hot elves, you know what other elf is hot? That night-elf on the cover of the Warcraft III box. I'll never get to play the night-elves, of course, since I haven't touched the game since about a week after it was released, but I sure do like that elf chick.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 7:53 pm

Er, she's a hottie allright.

I presume on the other side of the box is where all them hot chicks izzat, right? I'm going to go ahead and hope so, for both of our sakes.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 7:54 pm

Also, I thought we were both going to go get Mafia. I was waiting for you to get it and praise the game and then for me to immediately find something wrong with it, lieing if need be. This whole Siskel-Ebert dynamic doesn't work if neither of us have the game, though.

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 8:01 pm

You're just kidding, right?

There are FOUR DIFFERENT WC3 BOXES, Reservoir Dogs-style.

But you're just kidding. HAHAhhaa.

I'll buy Mafia real soon. I've been busy.

Roody_Yogurt · Post by **Roody_Yogurt** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 8:02 pm

I liked the movie for a couple of reasons. For one thing, it seemed like they made a good effort in trying to keep it faithful in spirit to the original, which is something I don't expect in comic book/novel adaptations and appreciate (most of the time... sometimes it's better for the director to go off and do his thing). For another thing, it seemed, on the first viewing, that it'd be enjoyable enough to watch again from time to time. By those standards, I think they succeeded and I am, in fact, looking forward to the sequels.

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 8:04 pm

Ohhh, baby.

Roody_Yogurt · Post by **Roody_Yogurt** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 8:08 pm

Now that I'm reading the '50 reasons' thing, I have to ask, is this a joke? It walks the line so finely that I can't tell.

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 8:13 pm

Roody_Yogurt wrote:Now that I'm reading the '50 reasons' thing, I have to ask, is this a joke? It walks the line so finely that I can't tell.

I would pay $75 to have the above post removed from my memory, so we can all go on with our lives and maintain the previous levels of respect we'd all gained for Mr. Yogurt.

It walks the line so finely? IT WALKS THE LINE SO FINELY?!?!?!

Millions of copies of the LOTR DVD have thick black bars at the bottom and top of the screen throughout the film.

Yeah, that's right on the edge, there.

Roody_Yogurt · Post by **Roody_Yogurt** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 8:14 pm

Getting further down the list, I realize that it's all a joke, but as far as that bit you cited goes, there's a lot of people out there who still don't understand the widescreen format.

(and yes, once I realized that yes, it is a joke, I was going to delete my post but now it's been responded to and the space time continuim is fucked up the ass)

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 8:16 pm

re: Image of Night Elf Girl

...I'd hit it.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 8:16 pm

Actually, I'd pay $75 to be able to backspace my way out of the previous comment I made about hitting a fictional picture of an elf woman.

Carry on.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 8:19 pm

Roody_Yogurt wrote: (and yes, once I realized that yes, it is a joke, I was going to delete my post but now it's been responded to and the space time continuim is fucked up the ass)

The thing that I have noticed, is that everytime Ben interacts with a member of the bulletin board other than myself, he is making these wild (probably drunken -- he is a lush's lush) gestures of free money if he could take back something that they said.

You know, Ben, when Dan Schmidt and Adam Cadre used to hang out at the old RFTK board, they didn't offer you money for the chance to edit your posts. Maybe you should think about that for a bit.

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 8:23 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:You know, Ben, when Dan Schmidt and Adam Cadre used to hang out at the old RFTK board, they didn't offer you money for the chance to edit your posts. Maybe you should think about that for a bit.

Those people are dead to me now. That's a part of my life which I'm trying to put behind me now, so I'll thank you not to bring it up.

Tell you what, $5 for each time you don't bring it up.

Debaser · Post by **Debaser** » Fri Sep 06, 2002 12:53 am

Okay, a couple of those were worth a chuckle.

Also, this whole conversation puts me in mind of this.

Credit goes to Adobe Photoshop (most likely) and Portal of Evil.

Oh, I should mention that you probably shouldn't click that link at work unless you know no one's looking or your boss doesn't mind you staring at pictures of naked women in elf ears on the company dime.

loafergirl · Post by **loafergirl** » Fri Sep 06, 2002 6:07 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Right, I had the exact same reaction. The wizard guy was cool. Aragon there was still the same slimeback who was fucking Gwenyth Palthrow in that Michael Douglas movie. The human who dies I didn't care for at all. I did like Frodo for whatever reason.

I've read most of the first book and gotten a better sense of appreciation for a few characters (the dead human, Boromir I think his name is). In the movie you're given no reason to really see him as something other than a piece of crap with no willpower. (Fuck, there's a Green Lantern joke here somewhere, especially with the fact that rings are involved and how willpower drives GL's ring, but I can't articulate it.) I warmed up to him a bit via the novel, but it's folly to expect someone to trudge through those things in order to like a guy on-screen a little more.

The only scene in the thing that I really didn't like was then the elf bitch (who I thought was Palthrow, but apparently not) has her little flight with temptation. Where's the goddamn payoff? She does nothing but tell you, "hey, I resisted the ring. I'm the fucking champ." Great, bitch, maybe you should get out of your tree fort and get on the damn quest, they could use people not driven to possess it and all. Slut. She-elf bitch-ho.

And I don't get how guys my age were getting so gay for Legolas, either.

I completely agree about Boromir, in fact I think I mentioned that when we caught the movie. Having read the books the scene of his death was a lot more emotionally striking, whereas everyone else who had not read it just thought "good riddance".

The elf queen I don't think was cast very well, but I think the scene was decent.

Liv Tyler was FAWKING HOT.

I disagree, I think they cast Aaragorn well. My only other complaint was the scene on Weathertop when they made Frodo out as a little wuss, in the book it was he, not Aaragron (aka Strider) who injured the Ring Wraith.

And the scene with Gandalf and the Balrog was phenominal.

-LG