Misused English

[pinback]

Now, presenting Jolt Country BBS' latest feature to momentarily distract you from the emotionally debilitating vagaries of real life:

The Three Most Misused Words/Phrases In The English Language!

These are phrases which we've all used incorrectly until finally learning the correct usage, at which point we begin strutting around and pedantically correcting everyone else who misuses the same phrases, often in the form of a BBS post.

(Scores are given out of a maximum of 100 for each category.)

The Third Most Misused Word/Phrase is:

--- OXYMORON ---

Frequency of casual use: 15
Frequency of misuse in context: 90
What it is misused to mean: "Two contradictory words."
Examples of misuse: "Jumbo shrimp! LOL!" and "Military intelligence! ROF!"

What it really means: Two seemingly incongruous words used to describe a specific idea which could not otherwise be communicated.

Examples of proper use: "Deafening silence", "Sweet sorrow".

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The Second Most Misused Word/Phrase is:

--- BEGS THE QUESTION ---

Frequency of casual use: 65
Frequency of misuse in context: 100+
What it is misused to mean: "PROMPTS the question..."
Example of misuse: "It smells like shit. That begs the question, 'who farted in here?'"

What it really means: To make an argument/assumption which assumes the conclusion in the argument.

Example of proper use: "Wait, you're telling me that your proof that the Bible is the word of God is that the Bible was divinely inspired? That's begging the question! You idiot!"

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And The Most Misused Word/Phrase is:

--- IRONIC ---

Frequency of casual use: 100
Frequency of misuse in context: 90
What it is misused to mean: "coincidental"
Example of misuse: "Ironically, the guy he fired was his CHEATING WIFE'S LOVER!"

What it really means: Lots of things, none of which means "coincidental". Open a dictionary for once, you illiterate tub.

Example of proper use: "The word 'ironic' does not mean 'coincidental', so stop using it thusly."

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This has been: THE THREE MOST WHATEVER I SAID UP AT THE TOP OF THIS POST!

THANKS BYE!

[Vitriola]

Please to address the use of 'metaphor'. People always use it when they, in fact, mean simile, as metaphor is a much harder concept to grasp.

[pinback]

Why don't you field that one?

[Vitriola]

Ah-haha! I see we answered our question with an illustrative example! Your terse response was a metaphor for the weaknesses that befall mankind and the resultant jackassery persuant! Brilliant.

[pinback]

persuant

No, this thread is about common misuse of words, not misspellings. Don't worry, though, we'll address those next week!

[Vitriola]

Pursuant. It was a metaphor.

[pinback]

Right, here ya go:

SIMILE: You are as an asshole.

METAPHOR: You are an asshole.

Fin.

[bruce]

thusly.

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=thusly

Bruce

[Knuckles the CLown]

Irregardless.

Use: Irregardless of her protest, I continued the sodomy.

People who say irregardless are dumb pricks. There is no such word. Use "Regardless" instead and keep the sodomy grammatically correct..

If someone tries to tell you Irredgardless is a word, start using words like Irresponsableless around them.

[pinback]

Oh, we could do a wonderful thread on manglement [sic] of the language. Originally, though, I was focusing more on misuse: Words/phrases that do have actual meaning, but which are generally used to mean something else.

In the category pf manglement, one of my favorites is:

"Discriminate against". A nonsensical phrase in any context, for one discriminates between things. It's equivalent to saying, "tell the difference against". Or "she moved to Texas at him."

SCREW YOU, language manglers!!

[Shakspeare]

METAPHOR: You are an asshole.

That's synecdoche, sucka.

[pinback]

That's "Shakespeare", assbutt.

[Worm]

Worm, as himself, not some spineless misspelled gimmick.

All of the people are always wrong, sometimes.

SO STOP BEING ELITISTIUS CUNTIUS' ABOUT IT!

[Shakspeare]

oh

[AArdvark]

I know someone who moved to Texas at me. It was a relief, actually.



THE
PUT UPON
AARDVARK

[Worm]

oh

OH YAY! A TOTALLY SPINELESS GIMMICK DOES RESEARCH!

Just call Pinback a maggot with your board name, you're fucking right for fucks sake. Who cares if it was because you saw a topic on spelling and googled every motherfucking word in it, or maybe you're a language master who is going to take down Pinner. It doesn't matter, because you don't have a fucking face, honey.

http://shakespeareauthorship.com/name1.html

Why even learn, when I can fucking google?

[pinback]

fucking

fucks

motherfucking

fucking

fucking

Whoooaaa there, little buddy!

[Toreoffmywings]

"None of us have faces. the internet robs us of everything. we are raw identity, wrapped in words. but attached to those words are handles, that we may know each other at a glance. without one, we are nothing, less than nothing, pages in the breeze, to be picked out of the air, and experimentally read for just a moment before being released to nothing once more, the greater story lost."

~Killroy Quartermaine "For I have Tasted the Datastream"

I think the point of all that is this, folks. This irritating kid with the contrived name guest account, he just doesnt exist. Or near enough to the fact as makes no differance.
so no stress, right?