Daily Review of an Amateur Flash Animation

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Dec 06, 2004 6:29 pm

Candidate One.

REVIEW: It put that stupid "loading" thing up, the sound was too fucking loud, there was no way to turn the volume down and some nasal maggot who is much less funny than he thinks he is droned on in his own embarassing nerd-voice and I didn't laugh once.

Zero out of Five stars.

Roody_Yogurt · Post by **Roody_Yogurt** » Mon Dec 06, 2004 7:44 pm

Yeah, that was pretty bad. Good place to start, though. There's a decent chance that the next random Flash movie will be better, donchyathink?

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Mon Dec 06, 2004 7:56 pm

What Isabellacam has done to her intro page, and you can't even get off the intro page unless you're a member, is unforgiveable. I used to like her, but man, she is one self-advertising whore.

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Mon Dec 06, 2004 8:37 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Candidate One.

REVIEW: It put that stupid "loading" thing up, the sound was too fucking loud, there was no way to turn the volume down and some nasal maggot who is much less funny than he thinks he is droned on in his own embarassing nerd-voice and I didn't laugh once.

Zero out of Five stars.

Did you link to the wrong one? Because that was a guy who was doing half well at faking an accent . It wasn't funny, but the voice held nothing to those you hear on HL2DM.

Souffle of Pain · Post by **Souffle of Pain** » Mon Dec 06, 2004 10:56 pm

Worm wrote:
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Candidate One.

REVIEW: It put that stupid "loading" thing up, the sound was too fucking loud, there was no way to turn the volume down and some nasal maggot who is much less funny than he thinks he is droned on in his own embarassing nerd-voice and I didn't laugh once.

Zero out of Five stars.
Did you link to the wrong one? Because that was a guy who was doing half well at faking an accent . It wasn't funny, but the voice held nothing to those you hear on HL2DM.

Yeah, it was terrific. In the Worm's Weekly Web the guy who produced that SHIT produces anything but SHIT and is in fact a very talented NON-SHIT PURVEYOR.

Just because you have no ability to really determine what is and isn't a complete waste of time doesn't mean you should give Jones a hard time for the first original thought he's had in six months (which he'll completely ruin by updating this for five days and then never again).

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Mon Dec 06, 2004 11:08 pm

Souffle of Pain wrote:
Worm wrote:
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Candidate One.

REVIEW: It put that stupid "loading" thing up, the sound was too fucking loud, there was no way to turn the volume down and some nasal maggot who is much less funny than he thinks he is droned on in his own embarassing nerd-voice and I didn't laugh once.

Zero out of Five stars.
Did you link to the wrong one? Because that was a guy who was doing half well at faking an accent . It wasn't funny, but the voice held nothing to those you hear on HL2DM.
Yeah, it was terrific. In the Worm's Weekly Web the guy who produced that SHIT produces anything but SHIT and is in fact a very talented NON-SHIT PURVEYOR.

Just because you have no ability to really determine what is and isn't a complete waste of time doesn't mean you should give Jones a hard time for the first original thought he's had in six months (which he'll completely ruin by updating this for five days and then never again).

The art was okay, I think the voice was done well, and it was just not funny at all. I mean wow "NICK AND JESSICA" even people who hate them can't stop talking about them. I'll talk when they start up a hardcore site.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Dec 07, 2004 9:35 am

Candidate Two. "This Land."

REVIEW: It put that stupid "loading" thing up, the sound was too fucking loud, there was no way to turn the volume down and some nasal maggot who is much less funny than he thinks he is droned on and sung in his own embarassing nerd-voice and I didn't laugh once.

Zero out of Five stars.

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Tue Dec 07, 2004 5:41 pm

Can we skip the ones that have been featured on CNN?

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Dec 09, 2004 12:00 am

Candidate Three. The Kristo.

REVIEW: It put that stupid "loading" thing up, the sound was too fucking loud, there was no way to turn the volume down and the music was terrible. I didn't laugh once.

Zero out of Five stars.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Thu Dec 09, 2004 6:37 pm

I laughed when it said I would go to hell. That's funny....

Please to not be offering any stupid Jesus flash animations for our perusal any more. (*by the term stupid, I mean ANY of them)

Instead, offer that British one about the US being at war almost constantly. Same kind of style and has no WHITE Jesus in it.

THE
LETS NOT GO THERE
AARDVARK

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Dec 09, 2004 11:06 pm

Candidate Four. War.

REVIEW: It put that stupid "loading" thing up, the sound was too fucking loud, there was no way to turn the volume down and some nasal maggot who is much less funny than he thinks he is droned on in his own embarassing French nerd-voice and I didn't laugh once.

Zero out of Five stars.

Speaker Volume · Post by **Speaker Volume** » Thu Dec 09, 2004 11:28 pm

Why do you hate me, Ice Cream Jonsey? I want to help you.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri Dec 10, 2004 9:26 am

Flash could have a "volume" setting like it has "Zoom" and other worthless shit no-one wants.

Seriously, I'm not (just) making fun. Every worthless Flash animation I have EVER seen has had the volume up WAY too fucking loud. Try it yourself -- put on an MP3 at your favorite listening volume. Put up some wax paper behind your head. Put on a typically shitty Flash animation. Sit through the "Loading" screen. Wipe your brains, which totally blew out the side of your skull when the obnoxiously loud Flash animation started, from the wax paper, taking careful measures to ensure none got on your wall.

My speakers are set once. Because nobody can record an MP3 at the same volume, Winamp lets me change the individual setting. Games are pretty much all alike, and they have master volume settings anyway.

Not Flash, though! It's your problem with Flash.

It's not Flash I hate so much as the morons who think it's the best way to accomplish their revolutionary propaganda.

...

... Okay, it's both.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Fri Dec 10, 2004 3:36 pm

That was better then the last one. I liked the French Polka. It reminded me of the Punk Polka, only with more breadsticks and red and white checkered tablecloths.

THE
I HOPE
THE TRIANGLE
GUYS WIN THIS TIME
AARDVARK

Lysander · Post by **Lysander** » Fri Dec 10, 2004 10:56 pm

Hey, stop actually reviewing the flash movies up for review.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Sat Dec 11, 2004 12:48 pm

Sorry! I forgot. This is JC, home of the thread hijackers and off topic responses.

Hey it looks like someone shot Hairbag.

THE
ARETNAP
AARDVARK

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Dec 13, 2004 1:59 am

Candidate Five. Codename: Gordon

REVIEW: It came with HL2, and I haven't actually played it yet, but I presume it put that stupid "loading" thing up, the sound will be too fucking loud, there will be no way to turn the volume down and some nasal maggot who is much less funny than he thinks he is will drone on in his own embarassing nerd-voice and I won't laugh once.

Oh, and it was a thirty-fucking meg download, too.

Zero out of five stars. Presumably.

Mysterio · Post by **Mysterio** » Sat Dec 18, 2004 7:53 pm

Is it supposed to be?

Mysterio · Post by **Mysterio** » Sat Dec 18, 2004 8:10 pm

Mysterio wrote:Is it supposed to be?

Fuck off and die.

Souffle of Pain · Post by **Souffle of Pain** » Sat Dec 18, 2004 9:19 pm

Mysterio wrote:Is it supposed to be?

It's crazy, I know. I don't know what's going on here. I'm really perplexed. Huh? Is someone trying out comedy here?

He keeps typing the same thing over and over again. That's not funny.

You want funny, howsabout maintaining a utterly inane Live Journal which is seemingly written in Retard and can't properly display in Firefox because there's no character set extension for (wait for it) Retard. Or maybe making endless shovelware for the bargain bin of life, the whole of your professional output fully able to be purchased by a nine-year-old who has nothing to his name but Down's, twenty bucks in his Paypal account and the URL to http://www.shitware.biz.

Daily Review of an Amateur Flash Animation

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