Here we pretend to be Ben asking Rainy out on a date

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

OK, in this thread you have to pretend to be Ben asking a lovely young waitress named "Rainy" out on a date. If you would like a more in-depth report on just who Rainy is, click here. Also, it's legal to both enter multiple times and use this thread as sort of a catch-all, passive-aggressive way to smear other forum members. I'll go first:

"Hey, doll, look... a bunch of us had a bet on what it is that you do for a living. I won. I guessed... ah, shit! Those fuckers set me up! GODDAMMIT. I'm going to skewer Clash and my Satanic Cousin Matt from crotch to septum. You want to come with? We'll get some coffee after I get what I need from the butcher's. And afterwards maybe I'll pleasure you... from crotch to septum."

[bruce]

OK, in this thread you have to pretend to be Ben asking a lovely young waitress named "Rainy" out on a date.

R: Hi. I'm Rainy and I'll be your server tonight! Can I interest you in our catch of the day? It's farm-raised tilapia in a butter-dill sauce!

B: Um.

R: <waits>

B: Er.

R: <begins to tap impatiently on her pad with her pen> Sir?

B: Um, you'relikereallyhotandI'vewantedyouformonthsandallmydorkyfriendsonjoltcountrytoldmeIshouldaskyouout

R: <blink> <blink>

B: Oh God.

R: <blink>

B: Uh, yeah, whatever, tilapia is great.

R: <leaves>

B: <eats dinner in silence, leaves, returns to his drab miserable everyday life>

----fast forward 30 years----

R is a WAITRESS in a SLEAZY DINER at HOLLYWOOD and VINE. She has gray hair badly colored bright red. She chain-smokes and has a voice like a cat being strangled with razorwire.

B enters the SLEAZY DINER. He is a SUCCESSFUL BUSINESSMAN, in an impeccable SUIT, distinguished SILVER HAIR, and shiny SHOES.

R: Yeah, whaddleitbe?

B: Cup of coffee. Black. And a Western Omlette.

R: K, doll. Hey...don't I....?

B: <blank stare>

R: <pressing her luck> Yeah! YEAH! YOU ASKED ME OUT! Back when I was working at the nice restaurant! Right! Oh, God, what a fool I was! I should have said YES! WHY, OH GOD, WHY DIDN'T I SAY YES?

B: Do I know you?

[loafergirl]

B: In the immortal words of Butthead "Hey baby, wanna wrestle?"

[Worm]

B: So when do you get off?

Now this is all from a mud.

If rep is below twenty
R: Screw off.
If rep is above twenty
R: Anytime you want.

Now ben has to keep on doing that quest where he takes that girl back to his mother. Have any of you guys play L.O.R.D 2?

[loafergirl]

Only LORD the original, woo nelly Seth Green!