Pizza Guy

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Fri May 20, 2005 4:56 pm

A moderately amusing moment from earlier. I decided to take a break from being head chef around here to order a 'za, like old times.

Knock knock, I open the door, and this little twerp says, "Hi, here's your piz---....a" and I look at his face, and he's just got this far-off stare going, looking over my shoulder at the tropical paradise just INCHES from his grasp, but as unattainable to him as a face full of acne-free skin.

He remained dumbstruck for the remainder of the transaction.

The pizza was adequate at best.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Fri May 20, 2005 6:41 pm

He couldn't believe that someone could live in such a blue, palm-infested place. With a fog machine full of 'shrooms.

I bet it was like that scene from 'Fast Times at Ridgemont High' when the van door slides open and a fog of smoke billows out.. and here is Pinback in his socks, holding a twenty dollar bill. I would have to withdraw into a happy place too.

THE
THRU THE LOOKING
GLASS
AARDVARK

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Fri May 20, 2005 6:47 pm

No socks.

chris · Post by **chris** » Sat May 21, 2005 6:00 am

He was looking to see if there was a chick in there, so no, he obvioiusly doesn't know you.

PINBACK ATTACK MONITOR · Sat May 21, 2005 6:08 am

chris wrote:He was looking to see if there was a chick in there, so no, he obvioiusly doesn't know you.

HELLO! YOU ARE RECEIVING THIS MESSAGE BECAUSE YOUR POST HAS BEEN IDENTIFIED BY OUR AUTOMATED MONITORING SERVICE AS ATTEMPTING TO BE FUNNY BY ATTACKING PINBACK! YOU ATTACKED PINBACK BY ALLUDING TO THE FACT THAT:

[ ] HE IS DEPRESSED
[ ] HE IS AN ALCOHOLIC
[ ] HE HAS A GIANT BALD HEAD
[X] HE NEVER HAS A GIRLFRIEND
[ ] HE RESEMBLES PAUL GIAMATTI
[ ] HE HAS PALM TREES AND A FOG MACHINE
[ ] HE MOVES EVERY THREE MONTHS
[ ] HIS FATHER IS DEAD
[ ] HIS FATHER CHANGED HIS LAST NAME
[ ] HE HAD GYNECOMASTIA SURGERY
[ ] UPLOADS PICTURES OF FOOD
[ ] OPENS AND CLOSES A LOT OF WEBSITES

OUR ALGORITHMS HAVE DETERMINED THAT YOU HAVE

[ ] WILDLY SUCCEEDED
[ ] SOMEWHAT SUCCEEDED
[X] WASTED EVERYBODY'S TIME
[ ] SOMEWHAT FAILED
[X] FAILED MISERABLY

THANK YOU!

-----------------------------
PINBACK ATTACK MONITOR (PAM) v0.91b

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Sat May 21, 2005 8:29 am

Pinback Attack Monitor is actually pretty funny.

THE
CAN'T WAIT FOR
THE UPGRADED VERSION
AARDVARK

chris · Post by **chris** » Sat May 21, 2005 2:55 pm

AArdvark wrote:Pinback Attack Monitor is actually pretty funny.

Yeah, it would be funny if it weren't a blatant rip-off from the comment threads over at FARK. For example:

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comment ... nk=1474424

(scroll down about 85% of the way, and you'll see what I mean)

Can't say as I blame him actually...while the "Boobies" links on Fark only occasionally yield true spanking material, the comment threads on these links are COMEDY PLATINUM.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon May 23, 2005 9:47 pm

Shut the FUCK UP.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon May 23, 2005 9:52 pm

I think the form letter BBS post was not invented by Fark.

Man, if I lived atthe Phoenix Palm I'd be inviting all sorts of people over. I wouldn't answer the door without a flash camera. Then I'd post "Reactions to the Phoenix Palm" on a website (oi, where would you find/afford one to use, though?) and that'd be its gimmick. A bunch of people who suddenly can't see anything but BLUE.

chris · Post by **chris** » Tue May 24, 2005 6:04 am

pinback wrote:Shut the FUCK UP.

BUSTED!