Fucking ASSHOLES.

[pinback]

I really can't believe this shit. You know, you try to be a good person, you try to treat people fairly and go through life doing the best you can, and this is how you end up being treated?

Check this out:

I go into my local Shoppers Food Warehouse to stock up on a few necessities. You know, onions, garlic, maybe a bottle of wine, and of course, DIET SODAS. Now, my personal favorite brand comes in cardboard sixpacks, with the bottles sitting in each of the little "compartments". So, I pick up a sixer of diets, unsuspecting that a conspiracy of fucking DOUCHEBAGS was going to lead to a most... UNAPPETIZING of discoveries.

I pay for the stuff and take it home. And there I was, innocently and without concern unloading the groceries into the refrigerator, when I noticed that ONE OF THE BOTTLES WAS A NON-DIET VERSION OF THE SAME BRAND SODA. This is what I fucking HATE about people. Some IDIOT in the stocking department either intentionally tried to FUCK ME OVER by replacing a diet soda with a regular one, or was just so incompetent that he didn't even NOTICE that, oh, lookie here, one of them has the RED label instead of the WHITE one, and has 170 more calories per serving than the regular one!

It gets better, though.

I take the offending six pack immediately back to the store, march up to the customer "service" desk and DEMAND to speak to the manager. After a far too lengthy wait (thanks AGAIN, incompetent grocery workers), he finally arrives, at which point I demand not only that I be properly remunerated for this atrocity, but that the shelf-stocker (or whatever they call those sub-humans manning the aisles) in charge of the soda aisle be FIRED, or their chain of grocery stores would be hearing from my lawyer FORTHWITH, and if they wanted to avoid a whole HELL of a lot of trouble, they would do exactly as I said!

And as if I had not already been tested to the limits of my patience by these worthless wastes of oxygen, the guy gives me cash in the exact amount of the six pack, completely ignoring the price of the extra gas it took me to drive back there, as well as the obvious emotional stress imparted to me by this grotesque incident. Then he informed me that the stockboy would NOT be fired. And as I continued to protest, louder and louder, he finally summoned security and -- get this -- ASKED ME TO LEAVE!!

Unbelievable, these people! I just do not see how right-thinking, honest people like myself are supposed to be able to conduct our lives when we are constantly subjected to this kind of abject idiocy.

Unbelievable!

[nessman]

Um... perhaps it was the fault of the bottling company or local distibutor and not the supermarket?

[Jack Straw]

Only pussies drink diet soda anyway, let alone get all pissed and write a diatribe about ONE regular one.

[Knuckles the Sandwich]

Iand has 170 more calories per serving than the regular one!

He's just afraid that the extra calories will just go straight to his TITS.

Pinback <s>has</s>had TITS. LOL.

[Worm]

The only thing worse than poor satire of a guy who had a few seconds of a dry spot is poor satire of a guy who had a few seconds of a dry spot in a thread that is good satire of a guy who is a huge dry spot.

[AArdvark]

http://www.clayloomis.com/gerbil7.wav



look, it's funny. It aint right, but it's funny.



THE
NEVER TRY THIS
AARDVARK

[Vitriola]

I hope that wasn't recent; I read that years ago and it's not even true. (see bottom example)(no pun intended).

[AArdvark]

Who cares if it's true or not, it's funny. I had my doubts about the veracity but the announcer busting up like that makes it worth listening to.



THE
ARMAGEDDEON
AARDVARK