Sony to MS: We'll gut you like we did the Dreamcast

Lex · Post by **Lex** » Mon Sep 19, 2005 10:38 am

To reel in new customers. It did actually work with the DS: My mate's sister used to hate electronic games, and just didn't get them, until she tried Wario Ware and thought it was great that you could just poke at it and it did what you expected. And as with the DS, I think some really exciting and cool things will utilize the features of the R. I suspect we'll see a fair amount of second-screen-is-map syndrome, though. It doesn't change that Phruitcake's mum can't get enough of the mini-games in Mario 64.

As for using it as a fishing rod comment worm: That's what I meant about releasing games with little pieces of crap for the wand to fit to, for example:

Worm wrote: It's a stupid gimmicky controller that I don't care about. None of my favorite games use a posistional joystick because there are no good games for a posistional joystick. None of my favorite games will get sequels on the x-box because OMGOGMGO HALO 3! Obviously, I'm going with PS3, and probably then only on the day that I can put a mod chip in it.

Halo 1 is the only thing on the xbox worth owning it for, true. The few other things I'd actually rate as "good" and even "excellent" (in Mashed's case) are cross-platform games. The GBA on the other hand, has Ninja Cop, Sigma Star Saga and all sorts of other cool shit I've discovered from being an awful pirate. Games so good I've actually *bought* them. And it achieves this from having low production values, people are more willing to experiment. With the ridiculous costs of HD-development, I think the next generation will suck for "innovative" and all that other shit gamers harp on about. Perhaps in this way the Revolution will get a lot more exclusives: It won't be supporting HDTV or if it does it'll be later revisions, with no forcing of the developer's hands (we are talking about Nintendo right?) Designers may see it as a more enticing (see: cheaper) prospect. And with the pricetag so low, especially for the next generation, it will very likely be most gamer's "Second machine", as the Gamecube never was.

Worm wrote: Yeah, but aren't we really just looking at a fucking gimmick here? Fishing(doesn't even have a reel), sword fighting, light gun games, and that is it for what a posistional controller can be used for. It's so limited that it's just a shitty gimmick that producers will want to use rather than entertaining classic methods of gaming.

Gimmicks excite me, Worm. I want Steel Battalion, I giggled with glee when my pink Kirby stylus arrived, and holding my GBA in sunlight to charge up my gun was cool. I'm not really ashamed of it, either. It engages my attention and amuses me in simplistic, something-new-for-10-minutes ways. A few months ago I bought a bouncy ball at a rest-stop, and it's been amzingly fun: Years of gaming have built reflexes, we can have immense fun with something that was "eh" when we were shit at it at age 7. Phruitcake and I regularly go out to the wall-surrounded parking lot by the school and throw the thing around, and it's great, and it's simple, and it has that childlike excitement of seeing something do something, and hitting your friend in the crotch with a perfect 2-wall rebound. It's a bouncy ball, but it's the most fun I've had in a long time.

I just noticed it has two "A" buttons. That's going to piss off people come the inevitable tutorial level muckup.

Lysander · Post by **Lysander** » Mon Sep 19, 2005 11:54 am

You realize that there won't be another Sony platform for 10 years, right? I hope that in 2015 when those clowns set a bomb into Benjie's arcade they take a jaunt around to your place and hit your PS3 too, because then you'll have to go through the embarrassment of replacing it with a shitty console that got released 9 years ago because it's the only thing (not the only worthwhile thing, the only thing) that Sony has ever produced in a decade. That's where sony fanboying will leave you. See, this is funny, becasue not only will you be playing on a 10-year-old console--my God man! That's like the difference between the NES and a PS2!--but you'll be playing it for 10 years with teh shittyest controler in the history of video games, a controler that's so aweful it has absolutely no redeaming qualities whatsoever, a controler so bad it's actually worse than teh first Xbox controler... and here you are whinging like a pathetic little bitch because omfg teh revolitoun is 2 gimm1cy SHUT UP, at least I can use the fucking thing without permenantly inverting my wrists. The use of a regular controler means that you... are wrong in oyur assessment htat this is all the Revolution can do. It helps 3d shooters, say, because you can use the remote as the second analog stick--so looking around is used with litle twitches of your wrist. You can't honestly say that that's a worse way of looking around than using the PS2 "ove faster, damit ihis is too slowwwaaaaah son of a bitch GO BACK!" analog stick. You know another compelling thing about the revolution? The $150 pricetag. Yeah, as opposed to Microsoft ("$299! Oh, you wanted a hard drive? $399! But hey, we'll throw in some wireless controlers and a headset with that so that you don't quite feel as much of a sting while we rape our corporate cock up your ass!") or Sony ("We have a very stupid controler that is very stupid and are doing everything everyone else is doing with no differences but we're holding your favorit games hostage so that means you're going to want to buy it! Yeah, it'll come out sometime in, you know, 2007 and we'll never update it for an entire decade, so that by the time flying cars come around you'll still be using the PS3! Surely that's worth $800 of your time?"). I can't believe I'm seing such stupid fanboying right on this BBS.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Sep 19, 2005 12:24 pm

Lysander wrote:You realize that there won't be another Sony platform for 10 years, right? I hope that in 2015 when those clowns set a bomb into Benjie's arcade they take a jaunt around to your place and hit your PS3 too, because then you'll have to go through the embarrassment of replacing it with a shitty console that got released 9 years ago because it's the only thing (not the only worthwhile thing, the only thing) that Sony has ever produced in a decade.

Ha, ha. Did I do that?

Someone reviewed Fallacy of Dawn on IF Ratings and spoke of how buggy it was. This is news to me. I thought there were a couple syntax things here and there, but the latest reviewer seems to have really struggled with it. Should I go back and fix it? The enter/exit door thing would admittedly drive me crazy in 2005. For instance.

Anyway, nobody thought that Sega would just put a cap on it when it came to consoles when the Dreamcast came out, so perhaps the PS3 predictions might yet come true!

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Mon Sep 19, 2005 7:01 pm

Lex wrote:To reel in new customers.

haha haha

It did actually work with the DS: My mate's sister used to hate electronic games, and just didn't get them, until she tried Wario Ware and thought it was great that you could just poke at it and it did what you expected. And as with the DS, I think some really exciting and cool things will utilize the features of the R. I suspect we'll see a fair amount of second-screen-is-map syndrome, though. It doesn't change that Phruitcake's mum can't get enough of the mini-games in Mario 64.

That's neat for the guy who has to convert people into gamers, but I don't give a shit.

As for using it as a fishing rod comment worm: That's what I meant about releasing games with little pieces of crap for the wand to fit to, for example:

And with every game they all say "KA-CHING"

Gimmicks excite me, Worm. I want Steel Battalion, I giggled with glee when my pink Kirby stylus arrived, and holding my GBA in sunlight to charge up my gun was cool. I'm not really ashamed of it, either. It engages my attention and amuses me in simplistic, something-new-for-10-minutes ways. A few months ago I bought a bouncy ball at a rest-stop, and it's been amzingly fun:

Problem: Steel Battalion cost you your kidney.
I've got nothing against cheap simplistic fun. But 40 dollars for a bouncy ball add-on to plug into my Revolution controller? Just fuck off.

I don't care if PS3 doesn't have games for it in ten years. It's the only next-gen console not for fucking maggots.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Sep 19, 2005 7:59 pm

Please be a little nicer to Lex, Worm.

Jack Straw · Post by **Jack Straw** » Mon Sep 19, 2005 8:03 pm

Worm wrote: I don't care if PS3 doesn't have games for it in ten years. It's the only next-gen console not for fucking maggots.

That's where you're wrong!
*All* the next gen consoles are for.. well, you know. I'd repeat it, but it's mean.

Roody_Yogurt · Post by **Roody_Yogurt** » Mon Sep 19, 2005 8:36 pm

All I know is I've played more games I've liked on the X-Box than on the PS2.

Lysander · Post by **Lysander** » Mon Sep 19, 2005 8:57 pm

Your mom's a fucking maggot.

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 3:58 pm

Roody_Yogurt wrote:All I know is I've played more games I've liked on the X-Box than on the PS2.

Really? When I say "it's only got halo" and diehards like Lex agree with me, I figure I'm right.

What did you like on the X-Box Roody?

Lysander · Post by **Lysander** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 4:01 pm

Oddworld.

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 4:05 pm

Thanks, Roody!

Roody_Yogurt · Post by **Roody_Yogurt** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 4:13 pm

Didn't play the new Oddworld game but the first one on the X-Box was pretty lame, the final nail in my lost-all-respect-for-the-Oddworld-guys cousin.

X-Box games I like:

Evil Dead: Fistful of Boomstick
Fallout: Brotherhood of Steel
Beyond Good and Evil
Indiana Jones and the Emperor's Tomb
Psychonauts (great game)
the Halo games

I'm probably forgetting some since all my games are at brother's place with my X-Box. That may be only six games, but that's five more games I liked than what I've played on the PS2. True, several of those are also available on the PS2, but I like the X-Box controls more and, of course, the graphics are better. Some of those are available for the PC, too, but my previous stance of "if a game is available for both console and pc, get the pc port" has been ruined by a couple utterly crap pc ports of console games. Now I choose based on what kind of game it is.

I plan on checking out the X-Box port of "Armed and Dangerous" at some point to see if it's as good as the pc version that I bought just for the sake of passing it on to my brother (who unfortunately, won't play pc games). Admittedly, the X-Box port of Mafia sucks ass.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 7:05 pm

You forgot the "Sneaky Bastard" series commonly known as Splinter Cell. Can be played on PC but Xbox was there first.

THE
TURN DOWN YOUR
LIGHTS
AARDVARK

Lysander · Post by **Lysander** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 8:22 pm

Also, Rainbow Six III. See, the thing is that sure, these games were ported to the PS2... and the ports sucked ass. The same thing is going to happen for the PS3 and you know it, because it's going to be 2012 and Microsoft will be using the Xbox, I dunno, 2001 a Space Halocity, and Nintendo will be making the playsphere or something and Sega will have been resurrected itself with a console called the Neptune that's sixteen trillion times better than either Nintendo or Xbox and meanwhile you will be bitching because you're not getting the newest interminable Kingdom Hearts clone ported to your pathetic obsolescent hardware fast enough--and when that happens we are going to be the ones laughing at your sorry ass, because I'm going to be playing on Windows Astalavista babaay~! with the newest update to Duke Nukem Forever.

Jack Straw · Post by **Jack Straw** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 8:23 pm

Lysander wrote:with the newest update to Duke Nukem Forever.

I was with ya all the way until here. DNF is never going to happen.

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 8:46 pm

Wait, so your argument against PS3 is that there isn't little hope for a next-next-gen system? Fuck off. Katamari Damacy 3, Gradius VI, R-Type Finaler, Devil May Cut Himself, and A Core Too Armored are worth the 300 bucks for the system. Screw Revolutions idiotic controller design and screw Roody's "I like the controller and graphics better so it's a better port" logic. I know what you might say, but my conscience is clear, "I'm getting a PS3".

Rainbow Six was a computer game that was ported to consoles. It's a sloppy port, because it's a FPS; and those don't belong on consoles. Look, the X-Box is just a computer, so why buy the console when you can wait for basically any title that is 'X-BOX ONLY' to end up on your PC?

[*]Halo was a bad port, because it was a bad game.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 9:32 pm

Worm wrote:Wait, so your argument against PS3 is that there isn't little hope for a next-next-gen system? Fuck off. Katamari Damacy 3, Gradius VI, R-Type Finaler, Devil May Cut Himself, and A Core Too Armored are worth the 300 bucks for the system. Screw Revolutions idiotic controller design and screw Roody's "I like the controller and graphics better so it's a better port" logic. I know what you might say, but my conscience is clear, "I'm getting a PS3".

What the fuck is wrong with you? Calm down, FANBOY.

Lysander · Post by **Lysander** » Wed Sep 21, 2005 12:53 am

Jack Straw wrote:I was with ya all the way until here. DNF is never going to happen.

*slow clap*

Let's all pitch in for a "I didn't get the joke" shirt for Jack Straw, guys, come on.

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:23 am

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:What the fuck is wrong with you? Calm down, FANBOY.

I've got this douchebag advocating the most gimmick heavy controller ever and a console that has three exclusive games that people like over a console that may not make it to next-next-gen.

How the fuck am I supposed to react when Bond goes on a trek to the congo, find the legendary wrong tree, eats all it's magical wrong fruit, and comes here and starts being wrong to the max?

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:36 am

Worm wrote:How the fuck am I supposed to react when Bond goes on a trek to the congo, find the legendary wrong tree, eats all it's magical wrong fruit, and comes here and starts being wrong to the max?

With LOTS OF CURSING, obviously.