Ben's latest CRAP!

Ex-Listener of Ben's CRAP · Mon Jan 13, 2003 7:12 pm

Due to popular request, Ben released some more CRAP today! I haven't listened to it, of course:

http://www.montorusa.com/crap/IWannaBeJohnWilliams.mp3

Ex-Listener of Robb's YUK · Mon Jan 13, 2003 7:52 pm

Well, that other piece of crap has nothing for me any longer... maybe I'll give this a try. MAYBE.

Listener of Ben's crap · Mon Jan 13, 2003 8:40 pm

I like it.

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Tue Jan 14, 2003 12:50 am

Here, have some more crap:

http://www.montorusa.com/crap/motherplucker.mp3
http://www.montorusa.com/crap/TheDSharps.mp3

That's THREE MP3's from me today. Score:

Ben: THREE
The rest of you people: ZEEE-FUCKING-RO.

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Tue Jan 14, 2003 1:54 am

I happen to of wrote a totally unfunny, uninspired, and dry web comic.

http://www.geocities.com/gulvak//FILE.html

Worm - Minus one.

The Guy Who... · Post by **The Guy Who...** » Tue Jan 14, 2003 1:59 am

"DEFINITELY", motherfucker, not "DEFINATELY".

- The Guy Who Hates It When People Misspell "Definitely".

Forum Socialist · Post by **Forum Socialist** » Tue Jan 14, 2003 5:23 am

Worm wrote:I happen to of wrote a totally unfunny, uninspired, and dry web comic.

http://www.geocities.com/gulvak//FILE.html

Well... I came.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Jan 14, 2003 5:35 am

Ben wrote:Here, have some more crap:

http://www.montorusa.com/crap/motherplucker.mp3

The progression in this one is fucking awesome.

They will one day refer to "Parrish" in the same way they refer to "Vangelis."

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Tue Jan 14, 2003 3:09 pm

The guys in Pelon nicknamed me "Bengelis", for similar reasons. Wasn't that cute? Isn't that cute?

Pelon: The Band With the Cutest Nicknames.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Jan 14, 2003 3:11 pm

I bet you could cut the sexual tension in Pelon with a dull butter knife!!!

Wow, it's a good thing that I logged out and posted as someone anonymous; I'd hate to have that comment officially and forever attached to my real name, oh, wait I think that I did already lo

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Tue Jan 14, 2003 4:03 pm

Hey, FUCK YOU, bitch.

You know, I'm getting pretty fucking tired of all your fucking bullshit all the fucking time.

Fucking ASSHOLE motherfucker.

Fuck off!

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Jan 14, 2003 4:24 pm

No, FUCK YOU.

You think you're just going to waltz into this place and tell me to fuck off? Who the motherfuck do you think you are? Eat a ball of come, you fucking box of shit-rot! Fuck you!!

FUCK YOU!!

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Tue Jan 14, 2003 4:43 pm

I'm going to fucking kick your fucking ass, you fucking shitsucker.

If you'd quit fucking this whole fucking BBS up all the goddamn time, maybe you'd get some new fucking USERS once every three or four fucking YEARS, you fucking idiot.

Fuck you, you FUCK.

The water bottle · Post by **The water bottle** » Tue Jan 14, 2003 4:44 pm

The Guy Who... wrote:"DEFINITELY", motherfucker, not "DEFINATELY".

- The Guy Who Hates It When People Misspell "Definitely".

Definately definately definately definately definately definately definately definately definately. Look he wrote it at one AM. Furthermore, the last thing he gives a shit about is his spelling on a motherboard.

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Tue Jan 14, 2003 4:48 pm

Here's a picture of Ben after he got a little TOO excited at a Halloween party:

Bruce

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Jan 14, 2003 5:15 pm

Ben wrote:I'm going to fucking kick your fucking ass, you fucking shitsucker.

If you'd quit fucking this whole fucking BBS up all the goddamn time, maybe you'd get some new fucking USERS once every three or four fucking YEARS, you fucking idiot.

Fuck you, you FUCK.

You're lucky that I even pretend to associate with you. Do you know how many people you drive from the premises? It's easy: you drive away EVERYBODY from the premises. You're creepy, and not even "Playing Clock Tower at 3:00am" creepy, either, more like, "That Weird Uncle Who Just Finished Trading Child Porn With Pete Townsend and Ed Rooney Over the Internet and Is Now Giving You The Evil Eye" creepy. Rarely a week goes by where I don't get an e-mail from someone that I don't know that goes along the lines of, "Hey, your BBS really creeps me out, it's not even the BBS but more that 'Ben' guy." I have had to spend REAL TIME that I could be doing REAL WORK to try to apologize for you.

Well, I'm fucking sick of it.

No more. I refuse to be your professional apologist when you are going to act this way. Furthermore, it occurs to me that CLASH WAS RIGHT. In everything.

Do you have any idea what a fucking DRAIN it is trying to be your friend??

Well, no longer. I hope you dress yourself up in a big mustard costume, go out and further your rampant alcoholism, fall over backwards, are unable to right yourself, and CHOKE ON YOUR OWN FUCKING PUKE.

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Tue Jan 14, 2003 6:28 pm

I know you didn't just try to encourage me to not come to this fucking place again. I know you didn't just fucking do that. Because that's about the last fucking thing you need, except for any more of your brain cells withered up by that hair coloring you slather all over your worthless skull.

Maybe you're right though, maybe it's time for me to get off the pity train and stop coming here and feeling sorry for your pathetic fucking ass because nobody here uses this damn board. At one point, I did. I felt sorry for you, because I know how much of your substandard, meager talent and effort you put into this place, just to have nobody show up and use it.

So, slid you a break, and tried to liven it up with some actual content. Shocking as this must have been to passersby, I actually succeeded in making this place more than the CONTENT DESERT which it was destined to be.

Now you, you fucking ingrate, you are telling ME to fuck off? I know you didn't just fucking do that, because you'd be nailing the last fucking nail in this lame-ass BBS's fucking coffin.

Which, now that you mention it, would probably be a fucking improvement at this point.

Moron.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Jan 14, 2003 6:43 pm

Ben wrote:I know you didn't just try to encourage me to not come to this fucking place again. I know you didn't just fucking do that. Because that's about the last fucking thing you need, except for any more of your brain cells withered up by that hair coloring you slather all over your worthless skull.

Hey! I haven't done that in years, Sinead.

Maybe you're right though, maybe it's time for me to get off the pity train and stop coming here and feeling sorry for your pathetic fucking ass because nobody here uses this damn board. At one point, I did. I felt sorry for you, because I know how much of your substandard, meager talent and effort you put into this place, just to have nobody show up and use it.

Not only should you get off the pity train, but the gravy train as well, seeing how I have had to MOTHERFUCKING SUPPORT your tired self these last few months. Pathetic?? You peaked with the Pong FAQ back in like 1995. You haven't had anything interesting or of value to say since then. Everything else has been some strained commentary that at best has people straining out a very thin-lipped smile and at worst unplugging themselves from the Internet all together.

You're a collosal failure, and you've always been such.

Now you, you fucking ingrate, you are telling ME to fuck off? I know you didn't just fucking do that, because you'd be nailing the last fucking nail in this lame-ass BBS's fucking coffin.

Which, now that you mention it, would probably be a fucking improvement at this point.

Moron.

Oh, I see how it's gonna be. I single-handedly support your own worthless BBS over at "Pinback's Web Central II" AND whatever retarded social experiment you're trying to engage in over at "Monto Rusa," and THIS is how I'm treated? I've gone above and beyond the call of duty in making you something other than the pure bucket of grime and failure that you'd otherwise be seen as at those places, and you want to get pushy with me? You're unbelievable! I sincerely hope in this unbelievable fairy-world existence of yours you are able to ride pink unicorns and chase rainbows all day long because you're going to be spending all your time in that gay alternate universe real soon now when, everytime you head over to one of the 1,023,200,194 awful websites you've created, you see absolutely nothing of value or comedy posted. THAT'S how it's gonna be, "bro."

Die.

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Tue Jan 14, 2003 6:51 pm

I'm sorry, did someone say something? See, I have this faint buzzing in my ears. It's a strange buzz too...

It feels like a buzz of:

Resentment: From someone who's never been able to match the humor, wit, and intelligence of the very worst of my writings with the very best of his.

Stupidity: From someone who is unable to realize exactly who it is keeping the trains in his little "web kingdom" running on time.

Desperation: From someone whose mouth has got his ass a little too close to the fire, and is now struggling mightily (and futilely) to save himself from the scalding, searing pain I am inflicting.

So, sorry, did someone say something?

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Jan 14, 2003 7:29 pm

Ah, you're playing the "I'm not listening" game? What a fucking teenage girl. So is that how it is with Parrish males? Your dad pretends to be Elizabeth White over the internet and you pretend to be a 13 year old she-cunt who is whining about her first period on LiveJournal? Mood:Menstruating!!

That cat Bennie of yours is the only member of the Parrish family with a penis. And look what happened to him.

Ben's latest CRAP!

Ben's latest CRAP!

Watch that fuckin' mustard