Best cast ever.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri Jan 10, 2003 4:09 am

I deserve to get an enormous amount of shit for this, but ... ah, t'hell with it.

MONKEY MONKEY · Post by **MONKEY MONKEY** » Fri Jan 10, 2003 4:42 am

BIG JASON LEE FAN HUH??

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri Jan 10, 2003 4:36 pm

Thanks for bringing the BBS to a screeching halt.

You know, I never thought that I'd see -- in my lifetime -- a better character in fiction than Brodie Bruce. Maybe several thousand years into the future or something. But now we have a character who is, remarkably, played by the same actor and who is banging both of those girls in the same film?

Aye carumba! Madre dios!

The thing is, though, Julia Stiles has never made a good movie and been in the same movie three times, so there's a chance that she can do to this what Gretchen Mol did to Rounders. Nice to gaze at on the big screen, though. The other thing is --

Wait, what the fuck am I doing, carrying on a coversation with Monkey Monkey? Dammit to hell.

ChainGangGuy · Post by **ChainGangGuy** » Fri Jan 10, 2003 10:04 pm

Am I gonna go see this thing?

Let's do the math:

Directed by Chris Koch (previously directed 'Snow Day'): -1

Screenplay by Greg Glienna (previously wrote 'Meet the Parents'): -1

Julia Stiles: Not my cup of tea. -2

Selma Blair: Who? -1

Wait! Selma Blair *was* in 'The Adventures of Pete & Pete', and you liked that as a kid, right?: True. Alright, +2

Jason Lee: Without a doubt, +5

Larry Miller: +0.5

Thomas Lennon: Hey! Wasn't he in 'The State'? Rock ON! +2

The handy dandy Windows Calculator tells me that totals out to 4.5. Please note, that as long as a movie receives at least a '4' on the Interest-o-Meter, than I'll probably drag myself out to go see it.

When does this thing come out anyhow? Oh, and has anyone heard any reviews of it yet?

roWm · Post by **roWm** » Sat Jan 11, 2003 12:02 am

Help me remember. Was Julia Stiles that attempt at a morose bitch from Ten things I hate about you?

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Sat Jan 11, 2003 12:16 am

ChainGangGuy wrote:Jason Lee: Without a doubt, +5

Not to wax Monkey Monkeyish, but I remember a time when young men would be interested in seeing a movie primarily because of the female star (or, in rare cases, because the movie promised to actually be any good at all).

And those times were: Every second of my life before I began reading this horrible, horrible thread.

Here's my impression of the pseudo-intellectual American moviegoing public:

Code: Select all

"Aren't movies horrible anymore?"
"Oh, yes, definitely."
"Hey, do you want to go see &#91;horrible movie&#93; next week?"
"Whoa, hell yes!!"

It's all your fault.

James · Post by **James** » Sat Jan 11, 2003 12:36 am

Ah shuddap.

We don't ask for much. A dick joke. Some jokes about white people if a african american person is in it. Some explosions. Lightsabers. I haven't went to see movies for the longest time. Give me a story, a glorious accomplishment, an underdog, and a dick joke and I am pretty happy.

Does everything have to be filet? fillet? mijon? mijaun?

You get my drift tallboy.

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Sat Jan 11, 2003 2:03 am

James wrote:Does everything have to be filet? fillet? mijon? mijaun?

No, but this is an excellent example.

You can make filet mignon really well, and when it's done well (see: Ruth's Chris) it is fabulous.

Also, it will cost you about $80, including drinks and appetizers. But it's very "posh" and "stylish" and "fancy".

But you can also make a meal for less than $1, featuring rice, beans, various spices, maybe a little cheese, and that too will be FABULOUS. Not good, not great: FABULOUS. The kind of meal that makes you think, "Boy, I could eat this every day, every meal, for the rest of my life, and be happy." And this meal is NOT posh, it's NOT fancy, it's NOT "stylish", it's not even artistic, it's just EXCELLENT.

Why do we not demand the same in our movies? There have been movies with dick jokes, white people and light sabers that have been FABULOUS, and there have been artsy-fartsy movies with "themes" and "undertones" that have SUCKED.

I don't ask for a specific level of "style" or some other vague, indefensible concept.

I just ask for quality.

And YOU people, by continuing to subsidise LOUSY CRAP, as long as they have your favorite "cute guy actor" in it (which, I don't even wanna get into it), are making it so every year we get about 100 Pearl Harbors and less than 1 Solaris, and/or Coen movie.

It is ALL YOUR FAULT, and I blame you.

(Seriously.)

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Sat Jan 11, 2003 9:36 am

I have a feeling the movie is going to poke great fun of a particualr guy habit of wanting to screw the entire population of women, (the cute, sexy population, anyway)

Anyone remember the old asying about how it's been proven that a man has a brain and a dick, but only enough blood to run one at a time? This movie looks like a textbook example.

THE
AB NEGATIVE
AARDVARK

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Jan 11, 2003 2:47 pm

Ben wrote:Why do we not demand the same in our movies? There have been movies with dick jokes, white people and light sabers that have been FABULOUS, and there have been artsy-fartsy movies with "themes" and "undertones" that have SUCKED.

Look, you pessimistic old codger, Selma Blair is incredibly cute, and one day I am going to meet and marry a girl who looks just like her and she's going to say, "Why are you still running that BBS?" and I'll be all, "I dunno," and she'll be all, "Come to bed and turn that thing off," and I'll be all, "Dddurrrr, OK" and I will never, ever talk to any of you ever again.

But UNTIL that day comes, I have to sit through the real one's (previously) shitty movies and hope. Well, now after all these years she's making one with BRODIE FUCKING BRUCE.

It's about goddamn time.

James · Post by **James** » Sat Jan 11, 2003 3:34 pm

Did you see that one Jennifer Love Hewwit movie based on Jason Lee being in it?

Eh, I don't even go out to see movies that seem decent anymore. For Two Towers I'd rather get to reading the book myself and watch the movie at home. Furthermore the only person who I know who wants to see it is my older brother and lately shit's been hectic and we just don't have the time.

Ben, is right. Quality does seem to be dying down. Some people don't give a shit though. I've had Filet Mignon (I'll have to remember the spelling) I've also sat down and ate coffee with some bad milk and celery that was half rotten. Just because something is awful doesn't mean you have to never have it. I mean I've been assumed by movies that made me ashamed to be amused by them and that is what happens. I was ashamed to enjoy and movie but at least I enjoyed it.

ChainGangGuy · Post by **ChainGangGuy** » Sat Jan 11, 2003 5:04 pm

It is ALL YOUR FAULT, and I blame you.

I think I just got myself rolled over by the Ben Parrish Content-Train.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Jan 11, 2003 5:14 pm

Ben wrote:And YOU people, by continuing to subsidise LOUSY CRAP, as long as they have your favorite "cute guy actor" in it (which, I don't even wanna get into it), are making it so every year we get about 100 Pearl Harbors and less than 1 Solaris, and/or Coen movie.

It is ALL YOUR FAULT, and I blame you.

(Seriously.)

We're acting gay for Jason Lee because he ELEVATES most of the movies that he's in, and makes them better than the otherwise would be.

Did I go see "Heartbreakers"? No. "Stealing Harvard"? No. "Mumford"? No. Those movies did not appeal to me, even though my favorite actor was in them. But he singlehandedly turned Mallrats from something unwatchable to something that, when he's on the screen, is as funny as a box of dwarvish liquid fuck.

Anyway, you should talk -- you'd go grab the next Rush CD when it came out the instant it came out, wouldn't you? If this new flick gets universally & completely panned I'll probably change my mind and stay away from it.

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Sat Jan 18, 2003 2:05 am

So, how did you all like this movie, which of course, rightfully so, has been roundly panned by any critic worth their salt?

Did you enjoy it?

I hope so, because all the money you gave them will persuade them to make even more horrible movies just like it.

Nice job. Thanks.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Jan 18, 2003 2:25 am

Fuck you, Ebert hasn't weighed in yet. There's still a chance.

LOL · Post by **LOL** » Sat Jan 18, 2003 3:06 am

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Ebert hasn't weighed in yet.

All the scales ran away.

Commander Data · Post by **Commander Data** » Sat Jan 18, 2003 3:14 am

Lol?

Is that you, Lol?

Film Historian · Post by **Film Historian** » Mon Jan 20, 2003 11:55 pm

Say, can anyone name a single non-Kevin Smith movie featuring Jason Lee that wasn't aggressively mediocre at best? Also, on a related note, what's the over/under on Jack Black ever doing a movie that fulfills the promise he showed in "High Fidelity"?

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Jan 21, 2003 12:19 am

Er... well...

Er, Drawing Flies?

Um... FUCK.

JC FUN FAX: Ice Cream Jonsey's copy of "Drawing Flies" was in fact sold to him by fellow JC denizen ChainGangGuy!

Spaceman Puck · Post by **Spaceman Puck** » Tue Jan 21, 2003 12:24 am

Greeting! I am Spaceman Puck! I am from the future!

In the future everyone types like this!

Jason Lee's first non-mediocre effort will be Fletch Won! In Feb. 2005!

Jack Black will die of heroin-related causes in 2004!

That's it really.

Oh, and I have a spiffy, silver-and-purple SPAAAACE UNNNIFOOOORM!!!

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