Cooking In The Company Kitchen

[pinback]

I'm not racist, but have you noticed that whenever someone cooks something noxious and disgusting in the company kitchen, like fish or steamed cauliflower, it's always a black?

[bruce]

I'm not racist, but have you noticed that whenever someone cooks something noxious and disgusting in the company kitchen, like fish or steamed cauliflower, it's always a black?

No. I haven't.

But now that you've pointed it out, I shall make it my personal mission to cook collard greens, cabbage, and liver in the company kitchen.

Bruce

[Vitriola]

Here, it's usually the hippies, the old guys with their fried chicken, and the uptight white girls that burn their popcorn like every single day.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

The popcorn burner should just be sent home by the CEO or highest-ranking VP whenever it happens. There's no place for the smell of burned popcorn in a functioning workplace.

[pinback]

Well, come on. What problem do you have with the blacks in your offices?

I'm not racist, I'm just asking.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Are you asking me? MAking popcorn at work is somnething that WHITE PEOPLE do.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Because who the fuck else would make popcorn at work but white people? It's your job. You're WORKING. You're not at the latest fucking Indiana Jones film.

I have made popcorn myself. And burned it. And frankly, I am lucky that I wasn't fired.

Say, it's about time I resurrected some other failures of 2007, like a dial-up BBS! Been a while for that one, eh?

[pinback]

Would you stay on topic, please?! What do you hate about blacks?!

I'm not being racist, we're just having a discussion here!!

[CO]

Sometimes they don't tip very well. My second job is a server at The Cheesecake Factory and last week the Seattle convention center hosted "The Links, Inc." which is an african american women's organization. Normally you don't have enough of a sample size to really say, "that group of people don't tip well", but this time I did. Empirically, these 50 - 70 year old african american women do not tip very well, usually less than ten percent.

But then my white guilt kicks in to reassure me that, "when these women were children they weren't even allowed to eat in most restaurants" and then I don't mind anymore.

[Vitriola]

I have heard fellow servers say the same thing.

[CO]

I really think it's a culture thing, like some knowledge and shared experience that didn't get fully passed on because of segregation. Deaf people are kind of similar i've noticed and after I thought about it I realized that tipping is something people don't always make a point to talk about, they just kind of do it. I'm not sure what the Jews' excuse is though.

[pinback]

Who tips worse, blacks or Jews?

Why do the blacks smell like maple syrup?? I swear, if they're not stinking up the company kitchen with their steamed veggies and fish, they're just wafting that syrup aroma all around you.

I am NOT a racist, these things just irritate me, about the blacks.

[CO]

Who tips worse, blacks or Jews?

Worst? Indians (curry not peace pipe).

[CO]

I have heard fellow servers say the same thing.

Usually they say it by prefacing it with:

I am NOT a racist. . . you know. . . these things just irritate me. . . about the blacks. . .

But most white servers don't talk about "gee, I wonder why would people whose parents and grandparents couldn't enter restaurants and whose great grandparents were property and not allowed to even read not tip as well as folks whose ancesters passed on hundreds of years of restaurant etiquette".

I know it's at least partially a cultural ignorance of people who don't have a lot of social experience eating out and some part selfishness of people who really do know better. Asians often don't tip well and these days young white (often rich) kids are probably the worst tippers I've ever seen as a group. I'm becoming more and more convinced that kids are getting dumber and more broken all the time. That's why the auto-gratuity is 18% these days for parties.

Europeans (like tourists and older folks) don't tip well unless you fold the top corner of the recipet down and jibe them about the strength of their currency, even then it's a toss up. The gays are some of the best tippers as well as young and old couples of all races.

[pinback]

And another thing about the goddamn blacks, why don't they walk faster across the crosswalks? It's like, oh, I'm black and I'm in the crosswalk, so that means I can just take alllllll the time I want shuffling my fat black ass across the street. Ten thousand cars waiting for me? Too bad! I'm just gonna mall-walk my away across, maybe even stop to look around, make a phone call, whatever!

I tell you, I am not racist, but the fucking blacks are making it awful hard to stay that way!

[CO]

And another thing about the goddamn blacks, why don't they walk faster across the crosswalks? It's like, oh, I'm black and I'm in the crosswalk, so that means I can just take alllllll the time I want shuffling my fat black ass across the street. Ten thousand cars waiting for me? Too bad! I'm just gonna mall-walk my away across, maybe even stop to look around, make a phone call, whatever!

I tell you, I am not racist, but the fucking blacks are making it awful hard to stay that way!

You're a big fat liar, I tell you. <b>Everybody takes forever in the crosswalk</b>, if it's only blacks where you are that's because all you whites are in your faggy cars driving to some stupid sandwich shop in the middle of a gay ass tech park. I hate suburban california tech employees, the ones who live there and justify, "sure I'll never pay off my $2M mortgage but at least when I rear end someone on the freeway nobody gives a shit". Try driving in Seattle where <i>every pedestrian</i> has legal right of way, not just in but especially the crosswalks. In the city, you get young kids and groups of businessmen lounging in the crosswalk simply because the little light isn't orange or counting down. So fucking live with it with your fag cripple little dog in diapers and nondescript jelly bean mccar as you go home and dream of fake apartment restaurants and man boobs.

Here's a news flash, white people all love doing something even worse than lingering in a crosswalk: they linger in parking spaces longer if someone is waiting for them. It happens every day at grocery stores and malls where white folks in suburbans make other white folks in blazers waste fuel while they wait way longer than they need to, laying claim to their space for just a little longer. That's one thing I hate about white people like you.

[pinback]

So fucking live with it with your fag cripple little dog in diapers and nondescript jelly bean mccar as you go home and dream of fake apartment restaurants and man boobs.

Wow, this went awfully personal all of a sudden! There's no need for that, I'm just explaining all the reasons why I hate black people. Not in a racist way, I'm just telling you how it is.

[WWOS]

There's no need for that, I'm just explaining all the reasons why I hate black people. Not in a racist way, I'm just telling you how it is.

Whenever you wonder if something you're going to post is racist or not, please employ the standard of WWOS (what would obama say) or in your case WWTS (what would tiger say) about your statement.

[pinback]

That doesn't even make sense cuz neither of those guys are pure-bred junglebunnies! And anyway, this has nothing to do with racism, I just have lots of problems with those knuckle-dragging jigaboos that I felt needed to be expressed.

[WWOS]

That doesn't even make sense cuz neither of those guys are pure-bred junglebunnies!

That's the point, their position as oreo cookies gives perspective on your white bread point of view. A true brotha would just kick your ass.