Apparently you can get beat up eating grits now

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

So I ended up going to the store because I needed one thing: STAMPS AND GRITS. I don't know how I lived without grits for so long. When I was a baby - which is my "lofi" time - I had no memories and I assume I was being filled with grits through my parents. It's a dark spot in my memory because I love me some delicious, Quaker-brand (c) grits.

Coming out of the Safeway, I had many mixed emotions. The first is that I was finally going to replenish my supply of grits. I believe in two things, deeply:

1) I believe that when the universe begins to collapse upon itself, we will all go through our lives backwards

2) I believe that there will be some sort of apocalypse that I'll survive, and because I want to get in the proper mindset for it (irritation) (well and annoyance) I never possess more than one tube of grits at a time. It's gonna suck when the nukes fall or zombies emerge or whatever, because I'll go down towards the store and as I look for the grits, I'll open some to smell the fresh, grit-like aroma, and locusts will pop out. I'll sort of hiss at the camera and go on to the next tube, but guess what? Locusts, all.

However, if you own multiple tubes of grits you become a kind of "that guy." While I'm thrilled that very few people know where to find me, I get enough company where a cache or stash of grits would be commented upon.

So, leaving the Safeway I heard a familiar catcall and I wanted nothing else than to murder those that would fun of a guy for getting grits and forgetting everything else he went to the store for. One half-drunken amber beer bottle hurled my way and I scurried back to my vehichle, grits safely in hand. I really love them, and I hope nobody questions my dedication.


the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!