ITT, The Longmont Dairy Lives

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Sep 22, 2009 11:10 pm

One of the (few) things to send me into a spinning mini-rage is coming home to see that some foul miscreant has placed a rolled-up advertisement in my door handle. It's a fucking beacon to thieves. "Say, thieves! This lazy asshole isn't home and/or up yet!" I'm fucking amazed it isn't illegal. I've sworn to never buy anything from any company that advertises this way. If I didn't have so much going on... and no, I don't have that much going on... I'd extract vengeance from this companies.

But in the time it takes to throw away the ad, I forget.

Look, anyway, here's where I am going with this: I thought the Longmont Dairy had closed. I went right by it on Saturday. I was going to get preserves there - that the cherry pie store in Lyons, CO had some was a happy coincidence.

So, my rage turned to a seething, smouldering curiosity when I saw that the ad stuffed into my door handle tonight was from - dun dun dun - the Longmont Dairy.

Who sell preserves.

I could have preserves delivered every Wednesday and FUCK your diabetes. (I don't have diabetes.)

I'm torn! I hate them, but I want so much milk delivered to my home in their little thermodynamics-resistant box. Here are the prices:

Whole Milk...... 1/2 gallon: $2.56
Whole Milk...... 1 quart: $2.12

Chocolate Milk..... 1 quart: $2.30

Orange Juice.... 1/2 gallon: $3.80
Orange Juice.... 1 quart: $2.49

They cheese, too! I use cheese! It's called "market price," though, like cheese was lobsters or something.

Anyway, I gotta run the numbers. It doesn't make sense for me to get $10 worth of shit each week because I'll end up throwing it all out, but we might be onto something here.

(No list for preserves, though.)

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Sep 22, 2009 11:22 pm

Okay, I want to clarify that I'm not buying whole milk. I'd be getting 2 or 1 percent. I just like the *idea* of whole milk, the Aslan of dairy products.

GangBangGuy · Post by **GangBangGuy** » Wed Sep 23, 2009 8:21 am

You're clarifying in it!

js · Post by js » Wed Sep 23, 2009 8:37 am

Sweet, sweet milk.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Wed Sep 23, 2009 12:59 pm

It's not so much the milk itself, it's the fact that they will bring it to your door. One day, instead of everyone using their own cars to get milk they will have one car get milk to everyone. Funny how that stuff progresses full circle.

THE
MILKMAN COMETH
AARDVARK