Haha, check this out

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

(Saw this via Sarge through Twitter. I don't know how to direct-link to Twitter posts, so if you are reading this from the far future, he wrote it on today's date.)

So the guy that runs Malinche has had a long history of being a crazy, desperate bastard when it comes to text games. He makes them using Inform, so any tools people create for the platform, like creating a Java applet to play .z5 files and so forth, have a side effect of also benefitting him. The iPhone app Frotz was released a while ago, and originally came pre-packed with couple dozen of really good .z5 games.

So this presents him with a problem. He obviously wants to take advantage of the Frotz app - without lifting a single finger, someone gift-wrapped the ability for his stuff to work on a new smartphone. On the other hand (and he's no doubt shaking his fist at this), the app comes packaged with a good selection of games that make his stuff look tepid and worthless by comparison. What to do? What to do! Oh, just go on the offensive and disparage the competition, then:

Enjoy any of our Interactive Fiction titles on your iPhone, your iPod Touch or Your Blackberry!

Step 1 - Purchase and Download your iPhone/iPod Touch Games Right Here.

You purchase our iPhone and iPod Touch games here from our online store - not from the iTunes Store. While our titles run on Windows, Mac, the Nintendo DS, almost any Blackberry and a dozen other platforms you won't need anything except the "story file" of any Malinche title you own. The next step explains why.

Step 2 - Download the Free Frotz Interpreter for your iPhone/iPod Touch

You will need to download the Frotz interpreter for the iPhone and iPod Touch - it's a free download in the iTunes Store. Frotz is the "loader" program that will play our story files on your iPhone and iPod Touch. Frotz for iPhone/iPod Touch comes bundled with some free games written by amateurs. Most are tiny compared to Malinche Interactive Fiction titles and nearly all of them are boring. No worries, though. That's why Malinche is here! Download Frotz for Your iPhone or iPod Touch here.

I mean, of all the douchebag comments a douchebag could make, this goes beyond even his previous, douchetastic high scores. Hahah, holy shit.

The bit about "amateurs" is hilarious. He's trying to make some sort of distinction that he's suckered people into paying for the occasional copy of his stuff, whereas many of the games that were included with the Frotz app were done and released for free. But even that is a bullshit lie, since a lot of the games in that pack had won competitions and therefore made more money than he has shopping his stuff.

The "amateur" thing is one of the most transparent, tired attempts at a crack someone in his inenviable position can make, and it never ceases to be hilarious. Amateur like Olympians are amateurs, you stupid cock-faced fraud.

[Isxek]

Here's the link from Sargent's Twitter post:



The so-called "permalink" is in the date/time of the post (pretty much like what blogs do). Cheers!

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Right on, thanks.

[Flack]

Knocking someone else's product, "amateur" or not, always comes off as being a little desperate. If you really want to sell your product, spend your time talking about how good it is, not (in your opinion) how bad everybody else's is.

[Lysander]

How about the IF community just releases all of their shit under a new license wherein everything is freely distributable and usable to absolutely everyone EXCEPT THIS ASSHOLE, (specifically, like, "all material included on the IF Archive may be used by anyone except for Malinche, you stupid cockgobbler") then sue him for one hundred billion dollars when he violates it?