ICJ vs The Chess

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

True story.

Last night, I made my move and talked about chess with Pinback.

He said, "what is Grocer's next move going to be?"

And I looked and went DURR

(The Java Chess program I use up there made queen and king look similar. I thought I was in line with the king.)

So, I was going to change it - edit my post real quick.

The fucking website literally went down for an hour-plus after I moved.

It was hilarious in just how perfect the timing was. Now, don't get me wrong, moving my knight to a different spot wasn't going to save me. But still, technology is *against* me.

I will move later this day. In fact, I'll probably accidentally move into check and as soon as I hit submit, my webhost's RAID setup will burst into flames.

[Grocer]

After reading pinback's review jonesy should post all moves from now on as "The Riddler".

If you want to take back that last move you can.

[pinback]

I demand he take that last move back. I also secondarily demand that Jonsey learn the starting positions of all the pieces, so he doesn't have to rely on looking at the shape of the graphics to figure out which one is which.

[ICJ]

Well, I mean, the game is basically over if I don't take that move back. And fucking POE Hosting knocked the BBS off-line literally a minute after I cobbled that thing together.

OK, I will take it back, I'll just move him to F7. Lemme re-post.

[ICJ]

1. d4 Nc6
2. Nf3 g6
3. b3 b6
4. Bb2 Bh6
5. e4 f6
6. Nbd2 Bg5
7. Bd3 Nh6
8. Nxg5 fxg5
9. d5 Nb4
10. Bxh8 Ba6
11. Bxa6 Nxa6
12. Bg7 Nf7

What's cyan and grey and commits lots of crime? Who's only basic talent at chess is wasting your time????? -- the Riddler

[ICJ]

ICJ: I'm moving him to f7.
ICJ: But maybe next time ChessMaster11 is up, you can tell me what it thinks I should do.
Pinback: Here I go!
ICJ: Does it say I should move my guy to f7?
Pinback: Let's see!
ICJ: And yes, put it on MAXIMUM GRANDMAXTER if you can.
Pinback: He's thinkin'!
ICJ: I know what he's thinking!
ICJ: . o 0 ("What the fuck!")
Pinback: he resigned
Pinback: NO THAT'S JUST A JOKE
ICJ: =(

Pinback: And the answer is:
Pinback: WAIT FOR IT...
Pinback: Ng4!
ICJ: What??
Pinback: No that's just another joke.


Pinback: He really went:
Pinback: Nf7!
ICJ: OK.
ICJ: So ... basically, we didn't need a computer to figure this out.
Pinback: Not that part, no.
Pinback: The only other option would be Ng8, and that's just... that's... no.
ICJ: What happens there?
Pinback: Then he's all the way back to his started position on the ass-end of the board.
ICJ: Oh yeah
Pinback: At least from f7 he can feel like he's accomplished SOMETHING with his pitiful excuse for a life.
ICJ: That ought to be my goal at this point: put everyone back to their starting point, so as to make it easy to reset the pieces for the next game.
Pinback: hahaha

[Grocer]

I am sure there is a better move, but in order to try to keep the pressure on I will go with...

1. d4 Nc6
2. Nf3 g6
3. b3 b6
4. Bb2 Bh6
5. e4 f6
6. Nbd2 Bg5
7. Bd3 Nh6
8. Nxg5 fxg5
9. d5 Nb4
10. Bxh8 Ba6
11. Bxa6 Nxa6
12. Bg7 Nf7
13. h4

[ICJ]

I wanted to clarify that by "chess program" I mean the one I use to give me a graphical representation of the board.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Okay, I think we got the game back on track now.

1. d4 Nc6
2. Nf3 g6
3. b3 b6
4. Bb2 Bh6
5. e4 f6
6. Nbd2 Bg5
7. Bd3 Nh6
8. Nxg5 fxg5
9. d5 Nb4
10. Bxh8 Ba6
11. Bxa6 Nxa6
12. Bg7 Nf7
13. h4 e5

[Grocer]

1. d4 Nc6
2. Nf3 g6
3. b3 b6
4. Bb2 Bh6
5. e4 f6
6. Nbd2 Bg5
7. Bd3 Nh6
8. Nxg5 fxg5
9. d5 Nb4
10. Bxh8 Ba6
11. Bxa6 Nxa6
12. Bg7 Nf7
13. h4 e5
14. h5

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

1. d4 Nc6
2. Nf3 g6
3. b3 b6
4. Bb2 Bh6
5. e4 f6
6. Nbd2 Bg5
7. Bd3 Nh6
8. Nxg5 fxg5
9. d5 Nb4
10. Bxh8 Ba6
11. Bxa6 Nxa6
12. Bg7 Nf7
13. h4 e5
14. h5 Qe7

Don't you worry, baby-boo, you'll always have an angry gorilla to be angry for you!

The queen is my "baby-boo."

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Also, my big plan on salvaging this game was going to be as follows:

- If you accepted the en passant capture offered
- I was going to freak out, claim it wasn't a legal move, and try to fistfight you

At some point during the fight, the virtual board would have spilled over, and I .. I wouldn't have won, but I wouldn't have technically *lost*.

But you saw through my ruse.

[Grocer]

I should refuse to continue on principal based on the use of baby-boo. I will deal with baby-boo soon enough, but for now...

1. d4 Nc6
2. Nf3 g6
3. b3 b6
4. Bb2 Bh6
5. e4 f6
6. Nbd2 Bg5
7. Bd3 Nh6
8. Nxg5 fxg5
9. d5 Nb4
10. Bxh8 Ba6
11. Bxa6 Nxa6
12. Bg7 Nf7
13. h4 e5
14. h5 Qe7
15. hxg6

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

1. d4 Nc6
2. Nf3 g6
3. b3 b6
4. Bb2 Bh6
5. e4 f6
6. Nbd2 Bg5
7. Bd3 Nh6
8. Nxg5 fxg5
9. d5 Nb4
10. Bxh8 Ba6
11. Bxa6 Nxa6
12. Bg7 Nf7
13. h4 e5
14. h5 Qe7
15. hxg6 hxg6

[pinback]

15. hxg6 hxg6

!!

[Grocer]

1. d4 Nc6
2. Nf3 g6
3. b3 b6
4. Bb2 Bh6
5. e4 f6
6. Nbd2 Bg5
7. Bd3 Nh6
8. Nxg5 fxg5
9. d5 Nb4
10. Bxh8 Ba6
11. Bxa6 Nxa6
12. Bg7 Nf7
13. h4 e5
14. h5 Qe7
15. hxg6 hxg6
16. Qf3

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

1. d4 Nc6
2. Nf3 g6
3. b3 b6
4. Bb2 Bh6
5. e4 f6
6. Nbd2 Bg5
7. Bd3 Nh6
8. Nxg5 fxg5
9. d5 Nb4
10. Bxh8 Ba6
11. Bxa6 Nxa6
12. Bg7 Nf7
13. h4 e5
14. h5 Qe7
15. hxg6 hxg6
16. Qf3 O-O-O

HMMM. This is an interesting chess problem for the ages!!

[Grocer]

1. d4 Nc6
2. Nf3 g6
3. b3 b6
4. Bb2 Bh6
5. e4 f6
6. Nbd2 Bg5
7. Bd3 Nh6
8. Nxg5 fxg5
9. d5 Nb4
10. Bxh8 Ba6
11. Bxa6 Nxa6
12. Bg7 Nf7
13. h4 e5
14. h5 Qe7
15. hxg6 hxg6
16. Qf3 O-O-O
17. Qf6

[pinback]

How's that the chess coming.

[ICJ]

1. d4 Nc6
2. Nf3 g6
3. b3 b6
4. Bb2 Bh6
5. e4 f6
6. Nbd2 Bg5
7. Bd3 Nh6
8. Nxg5 fxg5
9. d5 Nb4
10. Bxh8 Ba6
11. Bxa6 Nxa6
12. Bg7 Nf7
13. h4 e5
14. h5 Qe7
15. hxg6 hxg6
16. Qf3 O-O-O
17. Qf6 Re8


Not sure why it has continued to log me out. GRR.