DER ECONOMY

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Feb 25, 2003 7:08 pm

Here are my top ten words or short phrases to avoid on a first date.

10. Zork
9. Chlamydia
8. Vulcan
7. dungeon
6. nasal sex
5. Frodo
4. Cleveland Steamer
3. Megatron
2. furries
1. on-board floppy controller

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Tue Feb 25, 2003 7:40 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Here are my top ten words or short phrases to avoid on a first date.

10. Zork
9. Chlamydia
8. Vulcan
7. dungeon
6. nasal sex
5. Frodo
4. Cleveland Steamer
3. Megatron
2. furries
1. on-board floppy controller

Not quite mine.

10. Dirty Sanchez
9. Sapir-Worf
8. Worf
7. Altarboy
6. Syphilis
5. Squick
4. Socket job
3. Furries
2. Discharge
1. Hot Carl

loafergirl · Post by **loafergirl** » Tue Feb 25, 2003 11:15 pm

Because I am a freak of the female gender hearing of Zork, Frodo, or the Dirty Sanchez/Hot Carl (due to South Park reference), dungeon (so long as it was in a gaming sense)or all mentioned Star Trek terms would not be at all offensive to me. However, to the general female community I would agree it would be best to avoid them.

Top 10 things I don't want to hear on a first date:

10. Venereal disease
9. PMS
8. Republican
7. Are you bi? / How do you feel about threesomes then?
6. My ex girlfriend...
5. Perhaps you would like to visit my church...
4. Oh, that's my cell phone...
3.(turning to his friend during a double date)You remember that time we were looking for hookers...*
2.(via telephone while confirming date)Well my girlfriends sister, er, I mean I like to date several girls at a time like my friend Chris who has 8 girlfriends...**
1.It's my mom on the cell phone***

-LG

All items with stars are based on actual events

* It was not actually MY date who said this, but my dates friend while turning to him. Though I do beleive him when he explained that they were suburban kids who had never SEEN a hooker and at 17 were driving around looking for them... HOWEVER that was quite a moment.
** Robb was witness when I received this call, after repeatedly telling the guy (who while trying to cover up his slip kept making it worse) "put down the shovel" and then saying "how about you call me if you're ever interested in dating one girl *click*" I burst out laughing uncontrollably for about 20 minutes until I could relay the other side of the conversation to the other 3 people in the room with me (Robb being one of them)
*** Cell phones on dates annoy me period, but there's nothing like being on a date with a total mama's boy who receives not one, not two, but THREE calls from his mother in the cell in the span of 4 hours. And does not say "I'm busy I'll call you later" but holds a conversation with her all through dinner.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Feb 26, 2003 10:20 am

"How would you like to visit my church" -- heh, heh. That's a great one. I should try to come up with a list of things that I personally would not want to hear. I am pretty mellow, but attempted religious conversion before drinks have arrived would cause me to look towards the waitstaff and say in a bright yet hurried manner, "check, please!"

There was a girl that worked at the same grocery store as I back when I was 16 or 17. She also lived down the street from me. I asked her out on a date and she told me that she had a boyfriend. I didn't think anything of it until a while later, where she called me out of the blue and suggested that we get together. I was dating Bunky at the time so I just told her that, but when the subject came up and my mother was around she gave me the extended version of her experiences with said family, and apparently they were all religious nuts. To this day I don't know exactly what sect they were from, but it was nigh-alien. The thing I took from it was that my mom was great because she had just as much tolerance for people who are pushy with their religion as I am: i.e., none.

Cell phones on dates annoy me period, but there's nothing like being on a date with a total mama's boy who receives not one, not two, but THREE calls from his mother in the cell in the span of 4 hours. And does not say "I'm busy I'll call you later" but holds a conversation with her all through dinner.

I haven't gone out on a date since I got my cell. I guess I'll bring it, just in case something goes wrong, but I'll turn it completely off. That way I won't be tempted to "see who it is" if the thing does ring or vibrate. I just had the water pump, timing belt and thermostat fixed on my car, so the odds of it breaking down on the side of the road (and me needing a cell to get it towed) is quite low, but still. If it's off, I'm covered. Anyway, it's been three days; I should probably call this girl. I will never feel good about how many days to wait so long as "Swingers" remains in my memory -- that one guy saying you should wait five or seven days (or whatever it was) always blows my mind. Surely they put that line in due to it being absurd, right? I mean, nobody really waits seven days? I can understand it if you've got so many chicks to poll that it's seven days before you get round to Girl #69,105, but those of us with social agendas not quite so brimming need to act faster. I would think. Eh, no use getting worked up about it.

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Wed Feb 26, 2003 4:33 pm

Words I hope against hope I never hear on a date well with some sick anticipation wait for the day when I marry the women who utters them.

1. Battle
2. Raper

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Feb 26, 2003 4:36 pm

Worm wrote:Words I hope against hope I never hear on a date well with some sick anticipation wait for the day when I marry the women who utters them.

1. Battle
2. Raper

This is another reason to have the cell off if I do manage to go out. Though, with my phone number in possession by Bruce, Lex and Gerrit, there really has been a noticeable lack of BATTTTTTTTTTTTRRRE RAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPERRR!!! messages lately.

loafergirl · Post by **loafergirl** » Wed Feb 26, 2003 4:48 pm

So long as the cell is off you're in the clear Robb.

And religion, I could care less unless the person worships something evil. So long as they do not attempt to push it on me, it's all good. I did have an unfortunate situation where I was dating a Christian who believed I was going to go to hell, and when asking him how he could be with someone who he believed was going to go to hell his response was "I was hoping in time that maybe...". Relationship ended.

-LG

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri Feb 28, 2003 1:09 pm

Well, it's been a couple days since I left a message and haven't heard back, so it's unlikely that I will.

If I may steal a riff from Craig Kilborn when he was with the Daily Show: What did we learn today? Well, don't say "Macintosh Switch Ad" into your first voicemail, apparently.

looper · Post by **looper** » Sun Mar 09, 2003 9:50 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Here are my top ten words or short phrases to avoid on a first date.

9. Chlamydia

An acquaintance of mine (he's friends with my brother, and they were once roommates together across the hall from me) (we'll call the acquaintance Jerry), is very good with the ladies. But he never stays with one for very long. He's very outspoken about their beauty and about sex, etc.

There's a joke that my brother and I share about him, it goes something like this:

Me or my brother: "Hey Jerry, a girl called for you."
Jerry: "Oh yeah, which one?"
Me or my brother: "I dunno. It sounded like Chlamydia."

Phruitcake · Post by **Phruitcake** » Fri Mar 14, 2003 9:49 am

There really is only one that you need to avoid....

"Who the fuck are you?"

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri Mar 14, 2003 11:00 am

looper wrote:Me or my brother: "Hey Jerry, a girl called for you."
Jerry: "Oh yeah, which one?"
Me or my brother: "I dunno. It sounded like Chlamydia."

There's an e-mail extension you can get at www.evilemail.com which is something like yourname@chlamydia-is-not-a-flower.com

Evil, indeed.