BP declares Gulf of Mexico disaster "Act of God"

[Tdarcos]

London (AP) Officials of BP, Plc. have completed an internal investigation and determined the explosion, fire and collapse of the Deepwater Horizon was caused by an act of God.

BP announced that interviews with crewmembers have determined that just a few minutes before the explosion, a visiting pastor who had arrived by helicopter only a day before, showed his disgust with the Muslim religion at the sermon by burning a Quran belonging to a crewmember in a wastebasket after he converted to Christianity.

"Clearly this blasphemous act was the triggering cause of the horrible disaster, and offended God Almighty," a spokesperson for BP announced. When asked if the reports that another crewperson tried to put the fire out with what he thought was a firehose but was actually a fuel spray were also true, the spokesman had no comment.

The Deepwater Horizon explosion spilled approximately 250 million gallons of oil into the gulf of Mexico before the well was capped after aproximately 100 days of leakage.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Fucking God!