My day of cooking.

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All I did today was play NFL 2K5, watch stupid TV, look around for a gun to kill myself with... and cook!!!

Let's go through the culinary adventure which was my Saturday, from start (10:00 AM-ish) to finish (five minutes ago.)

BREAKFAST
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Scrambled eggs with ham, swiss cheese and green onions.
Fried, diced potatoes.

Review: The eggs, well, how can you fuck up eggs with ham and cheese? Damn tasty. The potatoes took a little finesse, though. Diced and parboiled before being sauteed in clarified butter, they browned and crisped up real nicely. Highly recommended.


LUNCH
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I didn't have "lunch", technically, so let's just skip ahead to...

AFTERNOON SNACK
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Sweet potato french fries.

Review: Extremely tasty, but I failed to make them crispy on the outside. Which is strange, because they were very brown. They just didn't "crisp up". Perhaps a dusting of flour ahead of time would help with this. Or maybe the potato I had was not primo quality. Or maybe sweet potatoes just don't crisp up good. Who knows.


DINNER
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NY Strip, w/red wine butter sauce.

Review: The meat, bought on sale from King Soopers a month ago, just ain't good. I did the best I could with it, but it ain't gonna make anyone forget Ruth's Chris. Or Outback. Or Sizzler. The sauce, made with a red wine reduction, shallots, and butter, was tangy, but perhaps a bit cloying. Beef stock would have been a welcome addition. But I didn't have any. So fuck off.


DESSERT
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Mango Lime Crepes a la mode

Review: Spectacular. My crepe recipe and technique is rock solid to begin with. You mix that with a caramel sauce of butter, sugar, and Dole Mango Lime Juice (because it's the only thing I had), and top it with vanilla ice cream, and now you are fucking talking.


This has been: My day of cooking. And looking for a gun.

[Vitriola]

I've been wanting a goddamn crepe for like 3 years.

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Here's a fool-proof recipe:

1.5 cups flour
1.5 cups milk
3 eggs
1 tbsp sugar
1 tsp salt
2 tbsp cooled melted butter

- Go over to your friend's apartment on Tuesday night and help him move his furniture to his new apartment.

- Borrow his nonstick 10" skillet.

- Mix flour, eggs, and .5 cup milk until incorporated.

- Continue to add milk and incorporate. Final batter should be the consistency of heavy cream.

- Add sugar, salt, butter.

- Refrigerate for one hour.

- Heat up skillet over medium. Like pancakes, you will always fuck up the first crepe, so don't worry about it.

- Ladle enough batter in there so that it covers the bottom once you swirl the batter around the pan.

- Once it begins to loosen up and brown lightly on one side, flip it.

- Remove 30 seconds later, once other side is cooked.

- Repeat, repeat, repeat.

Easy peasy.

(Except for the part about moving furniture on Tuesday night. Or day if you've got nothing else going on.)

[Lysander]

Try frying up onions with the home fries for the breakfast. They're seriously awesome in that capacity.

[ChainGangGuy]

Let's revisit some crepe memories and make some new ones!

I've been wanting a goddamn crepe for like 3 years.

Try waitin' around for a fucking crepe video, sister!

[Flack]

I'm willing to pitch in on the gun ...

[Tdarcos]

Here's a fool-proof recipe:

1.5 cups flour
1.5 cups milk
3 eggs
1 tbsp sugar
1 tsp salt
2 tbsp cooled melted butter

- Go over to your friend's apartment on Tuesday night and help him move his furniture to his new apartment.

- Borrow his nonstick 10" skillet.

- Mix flour, eggs, and .5 cup milk until incorporated.

You know, for very profitable operations an LLC is better.

- Continue to add milk and incorporate. Final batter should be the consistency of heavy cream.

- Add sugar, salt, butter.

- Refrigerate for one hour.

- Heat up skillet over medium. Like pancakes, you will always fuck up the first crepe, so don't worry about it.

Actually the recipe I'm using works perfectly every time.

- Ladle enough batter in there so that it covers the bottom once you swirl the batter around the pan.

- Once it begins to loosen up and brown lightly on one side, flip it.

- Remove 30 seconds later, once other side is cooked.

- Repeat, repeat, repeat.

Easy peasy.

(Except for the part about moving furniture on Tuesday night. Or day if you've got nothing else going on.)

I know when I was at the homeless shelter, I was assigned the task of cleaning the employee washroom. Then they realized that "Paul Robinson" wasn't just another one of the black guys there, it was the cripple, so they took the assignment away from me and gave it to someone else.

What ticked me off was I even went and bought some extra supplies - a mop and a few other things - out of my own pocket since I knew I couldn't do a regular cleaning, I have to have stuff to extend my reach.

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Actually the recipe I'm using works perfectly every time.

Well, we've got proof of that now!

In HIGH DEFINITION!