TigerCast 2003 Answers All Your Dumb Questions

[TigerCast 2003]

Is Els the big fat guy or is that Mickleson?

Phil Mickelson isn't exactly what you'd call "lanky", but I wouldn't characterize either of them as "big fat guy".

And who claimed that Tiger used "superior" equipment?

Phil Mickelson claimed that Tiger used inferior (not superior) equipment.

Els again?

No.

And which one is from the Grand Duchy of South Africa?

Ernie Els.

I hear Tiger has a hottie girlfriend, is there any plans on the board for a marriage between the two lovebirds?

Grammatical concerns aside, I would be surprised -- nay, shocked -- nay, awed, if Tiger were to marry any time during the height of his career (which, if all goes as planned, will be from late 1999 until approximately 2011.)

Thank you for all of your dumb questions.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Shut the fuck up, you pompous prick. Golf is the most retarded pseudo-"sport" on the face of the planet and this one clown being good at it is akin to someone being an incredibly clutch bowler. Fine, fair enough, but don't you DARE get snotty about it.

[TigerCast 2003]

I was merely attempting to answer the questions that you, yourself, asked.

I do not understand this unprovoked hostility.

Is it that you were secretly hoping that after Tiger's knee surgery and the subsequent layoff, that he would come back weaker, and no longer be the dominant force in golf, and your favorite golfer (Vijay Singh) would finally get his shot at the top of the world rankings? I'll be that's what you were secretly hoping, and now your frustration, disappointment, and jealously of Tiger's continuing dominance is bubbling up to the surface.

In any case, it does not speak well of you.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I was merely attempting to answer the questions that you, yourself, asked.

I do not understand this unprovoked hostility.

If I had any shred of a sense of humor left... I would LAUGH.

Is it that you were secretly hoping that after Tiger's knee surgery and the subsequent layoff, that he would come back weaker,

What kind of pussy injures himself playing golf? Jesus.

and no longer be the dominant force in golf, and your favorite golfer (Vijay Singh)

LIES.

The thing is, there is really nobody except for Woods to be a fan of in golf. OK, Woods, Palmer and Nicklaus. Everyone else is a spoiled, rich, upper 1% of class, complete jackass. I can maybe get behind a guy who became a millionaire because he was able to throw a football, but not somebody who already was a millionaire, and because of this fact got good at a reprehensible game like golf.

I'll be that's what you were secretly hoping, and now your frustration, disappointment, and jealously of Tiger's continuing dominance is bubbling up to the surface.

No, in all seriousness, I am glad that Woods has essentially kicked the crap out of the field in the way that he does.

In any case, it does not speak well of you.

At least in this, we agree in something.

[TigerCast 2003]

What kind of pussy injures himself playing golf? Jesus.

Part of the reason Tiger is so dominant is because he puts more effort into athleticism than other players, and this puts an exponentially greater strain on his person. And they don't use golf carts.

somebody who already was a millionaire, and because of this fact got good at a reprehensible game like golf.

So you don't like rich people, in other words.

No, in all seriousness, I am glad that Woods has essentially kicked the crap out of the field in the way that he does.

Then hop onboard the winning team, and come with TigerCast 2003 as we go on the adventure that is the 2003 PGA Tour season!

[bruce]

So you don't like rich people, in other words.

Who does? Even other rich people don't like rich people.

Bruce

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I don't like anybody.

[Anybody and Everybody]

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