Artisan bread

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Tue Dec 13, 2011 3:08 pm

This is a catchphrase, right? Like 'diet' water.*

We were having breakfast at Panera's and I keep seeing the phrase 'artisan bread' on the menu. What's so artisan about a low wage employee following a recipe in the back room?

THE
HUH?
AARDVARK

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue Dec 13, 2011 5:59 pm

Regular tonic water has a shit-ton of sugar and calories. Diet tonic water doesn't.

What the christ.

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Wed Dec 14, 2011 6:20 am

One of my co-workers was addicted to Panera for a while. At one point in time we were going there 2 to 3 times a week for lunch. I remember seeing those Artisan Bread signs because it made me think of Artisan Entertainment, the movie studio and VHS/DVD distribution company.

We have to Paneras close to our work. One is bigger, and feels more like a restaurant. The other is smaller and both feels and operates more like Starbucks. The smaller one is always filled with laptop workers and sometimes you feel like you should be whispering so as not to disturb all the people in booths that are working.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Wed Dec 14, 2011 3:09 pm

We breakfast there maybe twice a month. I feel that the phrase artisan bread is simply a way to make the food sound more highfaluting. There was a Montana Mills Bread (that sold ONLY breads) and all the workers were called 'bakers' Weird, huh.
They crapped out because the Atkins diet went viral and nobody would touch their loaves with a ten foot pole.

------------------

I think it's amusing that Polar has a product called diet water, that's all.

THE
YOU HAVE NO TEA
AARDVARK

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Wed Dec 14, 2011 5:00 pm

AArdvark wrote:I think it's amusing that Polar has a product called diet water, that's all.

They DO NOT have a product called "DIET WATER". Are you feeling okay, man? It's diet TONIC water. So either you're just not looking at the screen when you're making these observations, or you think that on some planet "tonic water" and "water" are the same things.

What is wrong with you lately?

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Wed Dec 14, 2011 5:20 pm

Is seltzer water considered to be water?

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Wed Dec 14, 2011 5:21 pm

Seltzer water is carbonated water, which is water with bubbles in it.

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Wed Dec 14, 2011 5:27 pm

Tonic water is just water with tonic in it.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Wed Dec 14, 2011 5:30 pm

BOOT PUSSY IS JUST YOUR PUSSY WITH MY BOOT IN IT.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Wed Dec 14, 2011 6:46 pm

Just forget about the tonic water thing, alright? I know there's a difference betwixt the two. I picked up a bottle of each one at Wegman's last week and compared labels. reg'lar tonic water has 90 calories and teh diet has none. I knew this before I posted the photos. It simply struck me as funny that water could be called diet. It also reminded me of the puzzle from HHGG where you have to show the computer that you have tea and no tea. That's all.

THE
BLOWN ALL OUT OF
PROPORTION
AARDVARK

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Wed Dec 14, 2011 7:58 pm

OTHER THINGS AARDVARK CALLS "WATER":

BEER
COFFEE
GRAPE CRUSH
BANANAS
TAX FORMS
THE PLANET MERCURY
PHILOSOPHICAL DEBATE

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Dec 14, 2011 8:21 pm

than wots in rain water lol

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Wed Dec 14, 2011 9:39 pm

By the way, to address the actual topic of the thread:

Though "artisan" is indeed an overused term, in Panera's case, they are using it correctly, and since the bread in that place is the only thing that isn't horrendously overpriced and god-fucking-awful, I'd grab onto that word like a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean the whole time you're in that joint.

Gonna be a long time till I forgive anyone in this thread.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Dec 14, 2011 10:36 pm

Panera's Bread is nothing special? I go there sometimes? It's no different than stuff you get in a loaf at a grocery store? What am I missing?

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Wed Dec 14, 2011 11:20 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Panera's Bread is nothing special? I go there sometimes? It's no different than stuff you get in a loaf at a grocery store? What am I missing?

Panera's French bread is exceptional, and you are missing taste my boy. TASTE.

It's fucking artisan!!

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Dec 15, 2011 12:37 am

I'll try it if you would please stop yelling at me.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Thu Dec 15, 2011 12:41 am

I don't want you to try it. I hate Panera.

I FORBID ANYONE ON THIS BOARD TO GO TO PANERA.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Thu Dec 15, 2011 4:15 am

Why do you hate pane---------

Oh wait, can't use the W word anymore...

Do you hate Panera because it's major-ly overpriced? Or is it because it's primarily a chick restaurant?

THE
SOFT PASTELS
AARDVARK

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Thu Dec 15, 2011 5:42 am

I'm going to Panera today and eating a frozen chicken sandwich on artesian bread with diet water.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Thu Dec 15, 2011 11:08 am

AArdvark wrote:Why do you hate pane---------

Oh wait, can't use the W word anymore...

Do you hate Panera because it's major-ly overpriced? Or is it because it's primarily a chick restaurant?

THE
SOFT PASTELS
AARDVARK

1. Overpriced.

2. Puts out a "health-food" vibe, and nothing on the goddamn menu is under 800 calories because of all the mayo and fat and grease and fat they be putting on everything.

3. Never had anything there that made me think "Mm, I'll definitely have this again!" (Other than the french bread.)