This Is The Thread In Which I Complete Things

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Let's be honest. When you think "dude who never finishes anything (except for ruining once-proud internet forums)", you all instantly think of me. You know you do. YOU ALL DO.

I would like to change that. I was going to start this thread on my own BBS, but its already another monument to my inability to complete anything, so nobody would read it there.

We're going to start SLOW here. I'm not painting the goddamn Sistine Chapel straight away. In fact I'm not doing anything productive or creative straight away.

No, first I'm going to learn to complete things that were supposed to be fun in the first place. Most things I never start. But of the things I start and never finish, GAMES, GAMES, GAMES are the number one offender. Or rather, I am the offender, and they are the accomplice.

I was inspired to do this by Civilization V ("five" - Rockstar) which I had on my hard drive forever but never bothered to play, and once I did, I was hooked. It was then I felt I needed to admit to our own Ice Cream Jonsey that though I've gone on about how great I thought the Civilization series was, the truth was, I could count the number of full games I'd ever completed, of any of them, ever, on both hands, and maybe just the one. Oh, I talked a big Civ game, but when it came down to it, I'd fire up a game, get to the midgame, something bad would happen and I'd quit. Or my ADD would otherwise kick in and I'd leave it lying there, this game I once proclaimed "the greatest of all time". And I couldn't even complete THAT.

Well, by virtue of a new inspiration to complete things, along with the fact that Civ 5 is my actual favorite so far and I have no idea what everyone's bitching about, I completed two full games of a Civilization game, back to back. Steam says I've had the game open for 27 hours during the past week. This is monumental.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. I've got a whole hard drive, a whole Steam collection of games I fiddled with for 20 minutes and dropped, which really deserved finishing.

So this is the THREAD IN WHICH I COMPLETE THINGS, PRIMARILY GAMES.

It will be a judgment call what "complete" means for things like replayable strategy games. I think, giving them a good, honest playthrough or two should count. So I'm knocking Civ 5 off the list, even though I am itching to get right back to it, holy crap what a great game.

Anyway, we are starting with BABY STEPS. We are starting as SLOWLY AS POSSIBLE HERE. Our first game we are going to complete is:

1. DEAR ESTHER.

This will show whether I'm serious or not. Dear Esther is a game that you don't have to actually do anything except show up and look around.

After that handy little warmup, we'll get serious with:

2. BIOSHOCK

I've played the first level and a half at least three times and then I quit. I don't know why, I always do. But I really love that first level and half. I OWE it to the game to finish it.

After that we have several ways we can go. But let's put paid to these two before we move on.

I hope you will stay tuned to this thread for updates?!? I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO COMPLETE THIS THREAD AT SOME POINT.

[RetroRomper]

Questions!

1) How do you actually finish a game of Civilization?

Recently some internet bloke came forward and admitted he has been playing the same game of Civ2 for 10+ years and I've been hashing the exact same game of Alpha Centauri for the last seven. So... I'm curious.

2) Did you finish the single player SCII campaign? SC:BW?

3) Will there be a point where we play and finish at least a round of Endless Space together? Would you add that to your list?

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Questions!

1) How do you actually finish a game of Civilization?

Uhhh. You get wiped out, or you reach one of the several win conditions, or you play until 2050 and it tells you who won. How do you NOT finish a game of Civilization, unless you finish it and then click "Just one more turn!" at the end? I consider it finished, at that point, after that you're just dicking around.

2) Did you finish the single player SCII campaign? SC:BW?

SC1, yes. SC2:WoL, yes. Brood War, no. That's a decent candidate for this thread if it goes long enough. Except I've tried it recently, and SC1 is so painful to play after SC2 that it makes my whole body hurt.

3) Will there be a point where we play and finish at least a round of Endless Space together? Would you add that to your list?

We'll see how it goes.

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STATUS:

Dear Esther: COMPLETE

This isn't really about reviewing the games, just letting you know I completed them, but holy fucking shit, what an incredible piece of work. It makes absolutely no sense, but is so astonishingly beautiful and moving that you almost want to go back and play it again right away. I say "play" loosely because as I pointed out and you probably already know, there's no real "game" to it. You just walk around for two hours and listen to some Brit's disjointed diary entries.

But what a walk.

Fuck. See, THIS is why it's good to complete things.

[RetroRomper]

1) How do you actually finish a game of Civilization?

Uhhh. You get wiped out, or you reach one of the several win conditions, or you play until 2050 and it tells you who won. How do you NOT finish a game of Civilization, unless you finish it and then click "Just one more turn!" at the end? I consider it finished, at that point, after that you're just dicking around.

Find it odd that the year cap rolls around in Civ II, V or Alpha Centauri and the associated factions (and player) aren't in the middle of a horrible struggle for dominance. Planet Buster against a faction that is a few turns away from achieving Ascendance or crippling the Morganites while they are near to cornering the Planetary Energy Market.

So clicking the "Just one more turn..." is oddly natural because the story is still in progress, the players are armed to the teeth and bitterly duking it out even while the clock winds down.

[RetroRomper]

May I suggest a console game or two such as Castlevania: Symphony of the Night or a traditional J-RPG? Final Fantasy or Shining Wisdom would toss a bit of much needed perspective into the mix.

[Roody_Yogurt]

Just so you know, I had a hard time getting past "a level and a half" in Bioshock, too. There's just something about that part of the game that makes you go, eh, I bet things are going to start getting harder and I should be using my money and stuff more wisely and playing better hey this isn't any fun anymore. I set the game down and didn't touch it for months.

When I did come back to it- I don't remember if I started over or just picked up where I was at- I just soldiered on regardless. Luckily, it never really got as punishing as I thought it would, and it the fun does come back.

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May I suggest a console game or two such as Castlevania: Symphony of the Night or a traditional J-RPG? Final Fantasy or Shining Wisdom would toss a bit of much needed perspective into the mix.

You're reading the thread, right? You know I have a BACKLOG of this shit to get through, that's been stacking up for years? That we're going to try to get through?

So, "no". "No" is my response to your suggestions.

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1) How do you actually finish a game of Civilization?

Uhhh. You get wiped out, or you reach one of the several win conditions, or you play until 2050 and it tells you who won. How do you NOT finish a game of Civilization, unless you finish it and then click "Just one more turn!" at the end? I consider it finished, at that point, after that you're just dicking around.

Find it odd that the year cap rolls around in Civ II, V or Alpha Centauri and the associated factions (and player) aren't in the middle of a horrible struggle for dominance. Planet Buster against a faction that is a few turns away from achieving Ascendance or crippling the Morganites while they are near to cornering the Planetary Energy Market.

So clicking the "Just one more turn..." is oddly natural because the story is still in progress, the players are armed to the teeth and bitterly duking it out even while the clock winds down.

That's not been my experience. Most games are over long before then, it's just nobody told the game yet. Hence the widespread complaint about boring, late-game 4x grind.

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Alright! I've gone through my entire GAMES folder and plucked out all of the ones that I SHOULDA DONE. I shoulda played 'em past the tutorial. I shoulda completed the adventure. I should have delved in past the first 20 minutes. Or, I bought them and shoulda actually ever done anything more than run the installation routine.

These games DESERVED MORE. The money I paid for them DESERVED MORE. And now, they are in the "GAMES-SOON" folder. And that means that one by one they're gonna end up in the "GAMES-NOW!" folder. And after that? "GAMES-COMPLETE".

Ready? Here's the list. It's in no particular order. I'll determine the next game to be completed as soon as I finish the last one. For each game I'll list what I consider "done", why it wasn't in the first place, and what my prevent it this time (where applicable).

CRYPTOZOOKEEPER
DONE MEANS: Finish it.
WHY NOT UNTIL NOW: I don't much like text adventures, but Robb makes some of the best, and plus I owe it to him. I tried once before on an airplane and got stuck, but that won't happen this time.
WHAT COULD STOP ME: Nothing.

BIOSHOCK
DONE MEANS: Finish it.
WHY NOT UNTIL NOW: Have tried several times. Get bored and frustrated in level two, never go back. This is ridiculous. Just finish the goddamn thing before Infinite comes out.
WHAT COULD STOP ME: Nothing.

CARRIERS AT WAR
DONE MEANS: Learn the game, play at least three scenarios, I guess? And not just the simple introductory ones?
WHY NOT UNTIL NOW: Every day I wish I had a game about aircraft carriers fighting it out! And then every day I remember I have one, which I paid full-price for a five year old game from Matrix, and which I haven't ever touched for more than the tutorial because oh yeah, you actually have to think and stuff. Well. I'm gonna play this fucker if it kills me. Full price for a 2007 game. Fuckin' Matrix.
WHAT COULD STOP ME: NOTHING GODDAMMIT.

FALLEN ENCHANTRESS
DONE MEANS: For these I'll stick with my definition for Civ 5 -- two complete playthroughs with different settings and on decent-sized maps.
WHY NOT UNTIL NOW: Well, it's brand new. But I did notice I got halfway into my first game and quit EVEN THOUGH I WAS ENJOYING IT. So it's a prime candidate already.
WHAT COULD STOP ME: Nothing, although I will wait until at least the end-of-year patch Brad is releasing which theoretically will have a bunch of new awesome shit in it.

PANZER CORPS
DONE MEANS: Not sure. I know there's a campaign. Complete the campaign? Or play through it until I lose twice? We'll see.
WHY NOT UNTIL NOW: Panzer Corps is a remake of the old Panzer General series! Which I also bought, played for 30 minutes and then quit! I've been at this a loooong time, friends.
WHAT COULD STOP ME: Nothing except a poorly-determined definition for "what done means".

SWORD OF THE STARS II
DONE MEANS: Same as the other 4x games, two decent-sized playthroughs.
WHY NOT UNTIL NOW: This fuckin' game. I want to love it so much. But the SOTS interface was so bad. It's better in SOTS2 but SOTS2 was unplayable until recently. But now it seems like it's finally ready to go. So let's go. God, I hope this isn't painful.
WHAT COULD STOP ME: If it's too goddamn painful. Also, will wait on this one for the next patch which is actually a free expansion coming up in the next month or so with fixes and new stuff and whatnot.

TROPICO 4
DONE MEANS: Let's call it, four or five scenarios, or 10-15 hours of playtime at least, something like that.
WHY NOT UNTIL NOW: I dunno! I love Tropico! What the hell is wrong with me?
WHAT COULD STOP ME: I'd say nothing, but something stopped me the first time and I have no idea what it was.

UNITY OF COMMAND
DONE MEANS: Complete campaign or lose enough times? Something like that?
WHY NOT UNTIL NOW: I played one scenario of this game and said "wow, finally a real wargame I can enjoy!" Then of course I never played it again. Jesus Christ.
WHAT COULD STOP ME: Nothing. I swear it.

WARLOCK: MASTER OF THE ARCANE
DONE MEANS: Two playthroughs (see other 4x games)
WHY NOT UNTIL NOW: Civ 5 with magic! Well, took me forever to even play Civ 5. So, there ya go.
WHAT COULD STOP ME: There are some who say this game ain't that great. If it blows too much during the first playthrough, I might bail.

XCOM: ENEMY UNKNOWN
DONE MEANS: Get to the end of the game, whatever that means. No spoilers please.
WHY NOT UNTIL NOW: When it came out I got a decent ways into it, and then, of course, quit. Same story, different game.
WHAT COULD STOP ME: I'll say nothing. I still have a touch of concern about the depth of the tactical battles, I hope they don't get too boring.

ENDLESS SPACE
DONE MEANS: 4x, see above
WHY NOT UNTIL NOW: Pre-ordered! Got the Alpha! Got the Beta! Then it was released and I never even fired it up once. I have serious issues.
WHAT COULD STOP ME: If Star Lords comes out beforehand and it's notably superior to this, I think one space 4x is enough, don't you?

STARTOPIA
DONE MEANS: I dunno, I forget how many scenarios there are. "Get a decent ways into it, at least."
WHY NOT UNTIL NOW: Well, I just got it last week for $3 from GOG and it seems cute and everyone says it's good, so, you know, let's give 'er a go!
WHAT COULD STOP ME: The tutorial missions I played were well done but the interface I found very painful. If it's not compelling enough to be worth the pain, I can give up the $3 without shame.

SINS OF A SOLAR EMPIRE: REBELLION
DONE MEANS: I dunno, at least a few playthroughs? Learn the game? Figure out why everyone says it's so great?
WHY NOT UNTIL NOW: I bought the original SOASE, played the tutorial and quit. Then I bought REBELLION and did the same goddamn thing. Pathetic.
WHAT COULD STOP ME: Nothing, unless they release a NEW version so I can buy it for the THIRD time.

NAVAL WAR: ARCTIC CIRCLE
DONE MEANS: Complete campaign, or at least far enough that it gets too hard for me.
WHY NOT UNTIL NOW: My most anticipated game of 2012!! I actually did get a few scenarios in before quitting. The game had some issues. But not enough to justify me bailing on it.
WHAT COULD STOP ME: If those "issues" haven't been fixed, or I remember why I stopped playing it in the first place other than laziness.

KINGS BOUNTY: SOMETHING SOMETHING
DONE MEANS: I dunno! Never played it!
WHY NOT UNTIL NOW: It was $3 on GOG and everyone says it's great!
WHAT COULD STOP ME: Dunno! Never played it! Maybe I'll hate it!

SID MEIER'S ALPHA CENTAURI
DONE MEANS: 4x-definition, see above
WHY NOT UNTIL NOW: Another $3 GOG investment that I tried for a few hours, looooved, but never went back to finish a single game. This shouldn't be a problem.
WHAT COULD STOP ME: This shouldn't be a problem.

JUTLAND
DONE MEANS: Do at least a few of the more complex scenarios. Also figure out how the game works.
WHY NOT UNTIL NOW: Giant boats shooting at each other sounds great. The simplicity of the control scheme sounds great. But then the scenarios have fifty three million boats per side and I just have no idea what to do or what I'm doing and I feel like I need to read a history book to figure it out. But I do love boats shooting at each other, and this game was expensive.
WHAT COULD STOP ME: If I ultimately have to acknowledge I have no idea what's going on or what to do, it stops being fun and I stop playing.

EXTRA CREDIT: STARCRAFT II: WINGS OF LIBERTY -- I did the single player campaign on medium. In preparation for Heart of the Swarm I'd like to go back and finish it on hard. Might just mix this in with the others.

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STATUS:

Welp, I made it back to the same place in Bioshock I always quick, and even went a few steps beyond! SO FAR WE'RE IN GOOD SHAPE!

God, this is going to take a long time, though.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Nice! Would it help if you talked about tonics with us or something?

[Flack]

Hey Pinner, I just wanted to give you a thumbs up for doing this. I have often thought of doing something similar. I hope the thread helps you complete some games you otherwise wouldn't.

I OFFICIALLY ENDORSE THIS THREAD.

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Thanks, buddy!

tonics durr whatevs

No. I mean, the resource management is what I hate about this game. I don't hate it, but you know what I mean. "Here's four things you can have but you can only choose two! Here's five awesome skills but you can only hotkey three of them arbitrarily! Also you're running out of bullets!"

It's fine, though. Let's just get through this. It's fine.

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Later-night update: Well, I'm well past where I've ever been before. I dunno what level "number" it is, but it's "somewhere in the middle", I'm guessing.

Jesus, is this game hard. Is it supposed to be this hard? It seems really hard. I have to quicksave and quickload like a lot of times.

Maybe I'm missing something. Maybe I don't have my TACTICS down yet.

Anyway, I wish I could quit now, but I made a PROMISE TO YOU PEOPLE. So I shall SOLDIER ON.

[ICJ]

Is Crypto next on your list??

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How many hours does it take to finish?

Endless Space comes out with their 2nd "free update" soon.

If I finish Bioshock before that, CZK is next. If not, Endless Space is next.

I can change this whenever I want.

[ICJ]

Crypto is a six hour game, I think.

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Crypto is a six hour game, I think.

Huh boy. Okay. I can do this. I CAN do this.

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And all I got to say about Bioshock is: