I Will Ruin Dexter For You

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Jul 07, 2013 11:04 pm

I will ruin the suspension of belief required to watch Dexter with three letters.

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NSA.

lethargic · Post by **lethargic** » Mon Jul 08, 2013 11:38 am

Yeah?? What does SPACE have to do with it??

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Jul 08, 2013 7:50 pm

Annnnnd all I mean is that the NSA would have access to everywhere Dexter has been and everything he's searched for.

There is no way he would go uncaught.

lethargic · Post by **lethargic** » Mon Jul 08, 2013 8:36 pm

If you don't think the TV show is realistic, read the Dexter books. They make the show look like a true reality show documentary.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Jul 08, 2013 9:26 pm

Ha, I have! I have read the first one. I give the author a ton of credit for creating the basis of a long-running tv show, but man is that first page and first chapter rather DIFFICULT to get down.

Here is where I am going with all this. The NSA has access to everything. Why the FUCK aren't they finding serial murderers? You can now look up the number of times someone has typed the "West Indies Beltway Killer" into Google. Sort by location of the search. Oh, a fucking shitload came from the West Indies Beltway? And the most came from this one guy? Let's take a look at everything else he searched for.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd it's all about fucking prostitutes.

Given access to this data I feel that smart people could solve a couple crimes.

lethargic · Post by **lethargic** » Mon Jul 08, 2013 9:54 pm

If all you've read is the first one you ain't seen nuttin yet.

The first one is pretty close to the show. After that the books go in a COMPLETELY different direction with "the dark passenger." In the show it's basically just his drive to kill. In the books it's an actual entity that has possessed him.

The third book explains it all. Basically, it starts at the beginning of the world with this demon named Moloch possessing animals and making them kill each other. Then people come around and it's way more fun to make them kill each other. He decides to create a bunch of children to cause more mayhem. So every serial killer in history is only a serial killer because they have been possessed by one of these children of Moloch. Once they die, the demon moves to somebody else.

Then Moloch decides he doesn't like his children taking all his fun away so he starts killing all these other demons and there's a Cult of Moloch helping him do it. They come after Dexter and Rita's kids, because Rita's kids are also serial killers in the books. "The dark passenger" ends up getting scared by all this and leaves. So Dexter starts turning into a normal person, caring about people and not wanting to hurt anybody anymore.

The cult ends up kidnapping the kids and Dexter tries to save them but since the demon has left him, he doesn't have all his awesome serial killing super powers anymore and he gets captured. The kids end up killing Moloch instead and then the dark passenger comes back and all is well. Dexter starts training the kids the way his father trained him.

It is sooooo dumb.

The show has gotten rather bad over the years. Though I hate to admit that. I still love the idea of it. But season after season after season of "Dexter gets in all this trouble, oh no, surprise, he gets out of it!" has really run it's course.

I think the show started sputtering once they killed Doakes. After that Dexter didn't have any real enemy besides the big bad of the season. And that boring white guy they replaced Doakes with? Pfft. I can't even remember what his name is. I just know he was that soldier on the bridge in The Dark Knight Rises. And it REALLY went into a tailspin when they killed Rita. I get the idea of what they hoped would happen without that character in the mix, but it never really worked.

But the real problem is that they don't seem to have ANY idea of what to do with the supporting cast. They seem to always have a plan for Dexter even if it's not good. But the sub-plots seem to be made up as they go. "Hey, let's have Batista and LaGuerta get married. Nevermind, let's break them up. Oooooh, the drama!" That boring white cop guy and his stripper girlfriend last season? Who cared about seeing any of that? Batista and his stupid restaurant? And what they've done with Debra. Just beyond stupid. It's one thing to have her have Dexter's back and let him do his thing, but her killing LaGuerta was pure stupidity and something that character would've never done in a million years. Terrible.

At this point the show is only worth watching for two reasons:

1 - It's ending, you gotta see how it ends.

2 - Dexter's hot ass babysitter.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Jul 08, 2013 10:03 pm

Yes, I do need to see how it ends. In a perfect world, there are three seasons - the first one, the one where Doakes dies and the ending (which we haven't seen yet).

Is this the last season of this? Do I at least get some satisfaction if I watch this season?

lethargic · Post by **lethargic** » Mon Jul 08, 2013 10:05 pm

Oh, and about the NSA thing.

A - I don't think real life serial killers are hunting down specific people the way Dexter does. They're not using google to find information on victims. And if they did I hope they'd use a VPN. Real life serial killers are a bunch of truck drivers picking people random people on the side of the road and hacking them apart.

B - How do we know they don't? They've probably caught people but we don't hear about it because they don't send out press releases to talk up the success rate of their top secret internet spying program.

lethargic · Post by **lethargic** » Mon Jul 08, 2013 10:09 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Yes, I do need to see how it ends. In a perfect world, there are three seasons - the first one, the one where Doakes dies and the ending (which we haven't seen yet).

Is this the last season of this? Do I at least get some satisfaction if I watch this season?

Yes, it's the last seas1

That typo is brought to you by my cat jumping up on the computer desk and breaking everything. I have to go clean up a bunch of glass and find where my mouse went. TTYL

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Tue Jul 09, 2013 8:43 am

This has nothing to do with Dexter (which I have never seen), but last night our cat jumped up on to the couch and in one fluid motion landed and did a little cha-cha-cha dance on my plate of buffalo wings.

lethargic · Post by **lethargic** » Tue Jul 09, 2013 9:59 pm

Lamp = destoyed.

Wooden snake statue = destoyed.

Mouse = found.

lethargic · Post by **lethargic** » Tue Jul 16, 2013 8:00 pm

I hadn't watched this season yet when I posted. I am caught up now.

I don't mind this season at all. I think it's a huge improvement over last season. I still hate what they did with Debra but they're doing what they can with it. But unlike last year where every supporting character had some pointless, meandering story that went nowhere, things are much more interesting now.

Now what they know the show is ending they seem to be locked in and not beating around the bush anymore.

And the new Vogel character has opened up some interesting possibilities where the ending could go.

They've often teased that maybe Dexter is NOT a psychopath and wasn't meant to be a serial killer. That his dad miss-read the signs and pushed him into it. It seems like that could where they're headed. That this Vogel woman coaxed Dexter's dad into trying to create a serial killer or something.

I just really can't wait to see how it ends though. I just hope SOMETHING happens and it's not just Dexter is in a lot of trouble and oh he got out of it. I don't want some open ended copout where Dexter is still Dexter and he's still down there cutting people up and we're just not seeing it anymore. End it. Have him get caught, have him quit, have him run off with Hannah, something.

Worst complaint I've read about this season: How come Harry has never told Dexter about Vogel.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Jul 16, 2013 8:31 pm

Is that a real complaint from people? Jesus Christ. Do these people understand that Harry is not an actual ghost like Casper the Friendly one?

Episode 3 was pointless and terrible. The first two were OK.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue Jul 16, 2013 9:11 pm

It is completely unwatchable, except for people who have stuck around this long and just need it to be over.

God.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Sep 24, 2013 10:17 pm

The "ending" episode, the season finale, is the dumbest thing I've ever watched in my entire life. I can not stress how completely retarded it is.

lethargic · Post by **lethargic** » Wed Sep 25, 2013 11:37 am

My only complaint is I don't see how it's possible he could've survived that boat in a hurricane thing. Besides that I thought it was a brilliant way to end it. Much better than all the predictable endings the internet has been spewing out.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Sep 26, 2013 10:53 am

It certainly was not predictable.

Man, they could have done a great final episode. Final season! That wasn't it. There could have been actual tension on him getting caught. Now they fucked up.

lethargic · Post by **lethargic** » Thu Sep 26, 2013 12:20 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:It certainly was not predictable.

Man, they could have done a great final episode. Final season! That wasn't it. There could have been actual tension on him getting caught. Now they fucked up.

Any tension over getting caught would've done nothing but muddle the real issue of the last episode which was resolving the Dexter and Debra relationship and completing Dexter's journey to becoming a human.

The will he/won't he get caught story has been the finale for EVERY single season this show ever had. If they had simply done that AGAIN it would've been the most pointless finale ever. What would be the point? We either end the show with him going to jail or moving to Argentina? Who gives a hoot about any of that? Instead they did something much more depressing and gave him the proverbial fate worse than death treatment. I love it when creators have the balls to give us the most anti-happy ending they possibly can.

ICJ · Post by **ICJ** » Thu Sep 26, 2013 2:22 pm

The will he/won't he get caught story has been the finale for EVERY single season this show ever had. If they had simply done that AGAIN it would've been the most pointless finale ever. What would be the point?

Because, in the final season, he actually COULD be caught. He could face the music when it came to being a lying, vicious sociopath to every single decent person at Miami Metro.

That would have been a lot more interesting that the garbage we got this season (and I knew it would be unwatchable when it started). And it was unwatchable.

Instead they did something much more depressing and gave him the proverbial fate worse than death treatment. I love it when creators have the balls to give us the most anti-happy ending they possibly can.

Let's be clear - nothing about Dexter this year took courage. It was the sloppiest hack job imaginable. It does not take balls to put a show on for 8 years and have literally nothing happen until the last 15 minutes of the season.

Literally nothing happened until the last 15 minutes of the season.

You and I could have come up with a much better final Dexter series than what we got. And if SPOILER is going to die.... it's done in THAT way? Getting shot in the abdomen resulted in brain death? Oh, the bullet "bounced around a lot." I guess it bounced so much that it nicked her brain stem. If only SPOILER was at a location that could deal with possible blood clotting like a hospital or something!

Dexter was awful and I am putting the rest of my life on pause until I've convinced you.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Thu Sep 26, 2013 2:23 pm

It was predictable in the sense that I predicted it would be terrible and stupid.

Driving into the hurricane and dying would have been marginally less terrible. How someone thought tacking on a "oh he didn't really die" ending was a good idea... well, explains the bulk of the last three seasons.