My Hot Sauce Enthusiast Career Is At An End

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Wed Aug 13, 2014 11:45 am

This is not to say that I have stopped using hot sauces. To the contrary, I have virtually zero meals without them.

However, I've narrowed it all down to three sauces, and that's all I have in the fridge anymore, and I don't really see a reason to change that. These three basically cover all of the flavor bases, other than sweet, but I don't generally have use for sweet sauces.

They are:

Tabasco Original
Tabasco Habanero
Danny Cash Bottled Up Anger/Salvation Garlic Serrano (same sauce, different labels)

I thought you all should know.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Wed Aug 13, 2014 1:43 pm

I would like people to mail you bottles of hot sauce and have you review them here.

THE
ANN LANDERS
OF SPICE
AARDVRK

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Wed Aug 13, 2014 1:51 pm

Okay, I will make an exception for sauces that are gifted to me.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Wed Aug 13, 2014 2:03 pm

P.O. box?

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sun Aug 17, 2014 4:02 pm

A quick epilogue to this post: To be brutally honest, I really haven't used anything but original Tabasco in weeks, and I use it every single day, usually for every meal.

It's definitely a food additive as opposed to something you're going to use straight as a dip or something. However, as an additive, it's pretty unbeatable. My favorite thing is mixing it with whatever condiment you're already using.

Southern tomato sandwich with Duke's mayo? Better with Tabasco Duke's mayo.

Grilled ribeye with A1? Better with Tabasco A1.

Spaghetti and meatballs? Better if you mix Tabasco with the spaghetti sauce. This one I did as a joke, and I'll never eat regular spaghetti again.

Tabasco wins. Sorry.

The last ten years of my life were a waste of time and money. (As far as hot sauce is concerned, I mean.) (Also almost everything else.)

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sun Aug 17, 2014 4:53 pm

Also right now I am having reduced-fat, no-salt potato chips with Tabasco on them and they are the best things ever.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sun Aug 17, 2014 7:21 pm

I'm in a ridiculously overpriced hotel. There's a sushi bar down there. I order a spicy tuna roll to go. Since it's twice the price of anything else, it ensures nobody will do anything right.

I didn't get any wasabi.

Oh what's that? A bottle of Tabasco?

Guess what's better than sushi with wasabi.

Fuckin' TABASCO SUSHI.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Aug 18, 2014 7:46 pm

Sometimes you find a domain name so good you just have to buy it.

I can't believe "averyisle.com" was not taken. I mean, I know nobody calls it "Avery Isle" instead of "Avery Island", but still. You'd think Tabasco themselves would have snapped this up.

Maybe they will later, for a million dollars. Then I can stop posting about Tabasco to you miserable ingrates and get my ticket out of this dump.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Tue Aug 19, 2014 2:54 am

"Avery aisle? It's just past the ketchup section, 4B."

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue Aug 19, 2014 9:36 am

AArdvark wrote:"Avery aisle? It's just past the ketchup section, 4B."

You're GOD DAMN right.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sat Aug 23, 2014 2:22 pm

Alright, this was a stupid idea. I take this all back.

Tdarcos · Post by **Tdarcos** » Fri Aug 29, 2014 4:22 pm

pinback wrote:Alright, this was a stupid idea. I take this all back.

In that case, we'll have to see what you do from this point forward.

-----
Sadists will never post here, because they can't bring themselves to click 'submit'.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue Sep 08, 2015 10:25 am

Although, in the end, don't we all arrive at the same conclusion:

That Huy Fong Sriracha is all you really need.

Donald Ebinsen · Post by **Donald Ebinsen** » Wed Sep 09, 2015 2:24 pm

AArdvark wrote:"Avery aisle? It's just past the ketchup section, 4B."

No, no no! The Avery aisle is the place in Staples where they sell label sheets.

And who eats Tabasco? Come on, they water it down when they sell it, the way drug dealers cut heroin! I'll tell you what's hot sauce: the uncut stuff. When McIlheny Co. moves the unaged barrels, a fork lift usually good for twenty years wears out in three because the fumes rot the steel. The fumes alone! Now that's what I call spicy!

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Sat Jul 09, 2016 5:57 pm

So i was at the grocery store today and I saw a line of Rochester based hot sauces.

If I mail you (Pinback) a bottle can I get an honest review? Generally speaking, I know little about hot sauce. You drip it on food and the food becomes spicy. Sometimes the sauce is green but mostly red in color.

THE
THAT'S ABOUT IT
AARDVARK

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sun Jul 10, 2016 7:28 am

Certainly! My hot sauce enthusiast career is at a REBIRTH!!

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sun Jul 10, 2016 7:31 am

Also, check the fine print on the bottle. Some sauces are other sauces that folks have paid to put their own labels on. So there's a (small) chance I've actually already had it, but with a different name.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sun Jul 10, 2016 12:34 pm

Yesterday I received Heartbreaking Dawn's "Reapercussion" limited edition sauce with "7 Pod Primo" chiles, supposedly one of the more flavorful X-TREME chiles.

It tastes like pure pepper mash, with just enough vinegar and agave syrup added for some texture and to round it out just enough to be edible. It is incredibly, searingly hot for a non-extract sauce, and it impressed me so much I went back through my Heartbreaking Dawn's catalog, tasted 'em all, lined 'em up by heat level (most to least) and gave 'em a whole shelf of my fridge.

Going from left to right, the fourth one (1542) is the first one I would recommend to anyone who wasn't already a serious, serious heat fanatic, because the first three, while very, very tasty, and perfectly good on all sorts of food, will likely kill anyone who hasn't worked up to them.

Tdarcos · Post by **Tdarcos** » Tue Jul 12, 2016 8:36 pm

AArdvark wrote:So i was at the grocery store today and I saw a line of Rochester based hot sauces.

Rochester based hot sauce? Are you kidding? Somehow I see a rerun of the commercial for Pace picante sauce, where the guy mentions to a bunch of tough Texans that it's made in San Antonio while the other guy's salsa is made in New York City.

"New York City!" they exclaim in horror and look at each other, then one says, "Get a rope."

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Tue Jul 12, 2016 9:45 pm

I know, right?

In 1981, the company introduced “mild” and “hot” varieties to accompany the original “medium” Picante sauce. In 1989, Pace Foods added Thick & Chunky salsa to their product line. It is a thicker salsa with large chunks of vegetables.

The growing demand for picante sauce and salsa reflected the changing demographics of America as well as the increasing popularity of Mexican restaurants and cuisine. Over time, consumers preferences turned toward Mexican foods, such as salsas, and in 1991, Mexican sauces overtook ketchup as the top-selling condiment in the United States in total dollar sales, with Pace Picante sauce and salsa taking the lion's share of the market.