Canned Fish

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 12:22 pm

Lookie here, it's a a Two-fer Thursday, with:

CANNED FISH REVIEW

Bumble Bee Smoked Salmon Fillets In Oil: The Bumble Bee brand is not going to impress anyone, and the box says "premium select medium red". I've never heard of "medium red" salmon, and so I have no idea where it comes from or how it's caught/farmed. However, these are firm, delightful fillets of salmon with just the perfect smokey overtones to them. I miss the bones and skin from some other premium canned salmon brands, but other than that I found the entire can delightful! Four "medium red" fish guts!

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 3:16 pm

Three-fer-Thursday?! Let's DO IT!

CANNED FISH REVIEW

Brunswick Sardines in Olive Oil: Welp, here you have it finally, the basic, straight-ahead Brunswick in OO. What else is there to say? I think this will be my "go-to" choice, as it has just what you'd expect. Five or so fish, all with skin and bones intact, with a few drops of the olive oil give what I'd call the "standard" sardine taste. And at little over $1 a pop (less than half the price of some of the brands it sits next to on the shelf), it's probably going to be the best "smelly bang for your buck" that you'll find in most grocery stores. I give this a fine, solid four reasonably-priced fish guts.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 6:07 pm

BONUS CONTENT ALERT!!!!!
BONUS CONTENT ALERT!!!!!
BONUS CONTENT ALERT!!!!!

Here at CANNED FISH REVIEW, we're not JUST about CANNED FISH.

So tonight, we present a very special episode of:

CANNED SEAFOOD DINNER CONCEPTS

Tonight we'll be looking at Bumble Bee "Tuscan Style" Red Clam Sauce, pictured here:

I purchased it on a whim, definitely not expecting much, and definitely before looking at the Amazon reviews for it, which were nearly unanimous in pronouncing it vile!

Welp, I poured a half a can into a pan, heated it up, tossed some pasta in there, and gave 'er a go!

The clams are as rubbery as superballs, and the sauce base itself does have an aroma di spaghettios as the Italians say, but it certainly wasn't awful. After I tossed several shakes of Tabasco and parmesan cheese in there, though, I would actually even say I enjoyed it! I mean, it won't make anyone forget Spago (or even Spaghettios), but for a cheap ass can of DINNER CONCEPT, I believe you could do a lot worse! A LOT worse!

I give this CANNED SEAFOOD DINNER CONCEPT two and a half after-dinner breath mints!

RealNC · Post by **RealNC** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 6:56 pm

It seems you're quite fond of canned fish.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 8:07 pm

Oh, don't worry, in two weeks I'll get bored and move on to something else.

I'm just tryin' to keep it REAL, NC!

(GET IT!?)

miasmic · Post by **miasmic** » Fri Mar 06, 2015 12:09 pm

I am really enjoying this, thank you, do you think there will be another update today?

fish · Post by **fish** » Fri Mar 06, 2015 12:35 pm

mmmpf bmmrrbffffff

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sat Mar 07, 2015 2:40 pm

omigod u guyz its time for the craziest ever

CANNED FISH REVIEW

Pampa Octopus in Garlic Sauce - Okay, technically not a "fish", but we were in Wally Mart today, and they were $1.38 a can, and, you know, what the heck, right? I prepared for the worst. Opening the can reveals a layer of little discs which appear to be octopus tentacles that have been sliced into centimenter-long pieces. I closed my eyes and gingerly took a small bite.

HOLY CRAP ARE THESE GOOD. I mean, they're hella-chewy, so chewy that when you hit one of the bits that isn't chewy, you kind of just figured you ate its spleen or something. The garlic is not very pronounced, but the overall flavor is just great, a little funky, a little lobstery... a true gift from the sea! In a can!

I give these FIVE OCTOPUS SPLEENS.

RealNC · Post by **RealNC** » Sat Mar 07, 2015 4:59 pm

Excellent!

Please do squid next.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sun Mar 08, 2015 5:27 am

I love Daylight Saving Time, because I get to get up early and start a new day full of opportunities to enjoy canned fish!!

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sun Mar 08, 2015 3:01 pm

What's that smell? Smells like the slime on the bottom of a wooden harbor piling! Must be time for

CANNED FISH REVIEW

Bumblebee Fancy Smoked Oysters

Now my goal every time I hit a store is to find the nastiest looking canned seafood possible and grab it off the shelf before anyone else can. Today's entry is smoked oysters! Opening the can reveals, holy crap, must be like 20-25 little dark brown oysters, which look like little pre-chewed wads of tobacco, hence the "smoked" part. Once again, not expecting much.

Once again, WOWED by the awesome flavor! You think I'm making this up, but I'm not. Would you rather have a half-dozen freshly shucked raw oysters for $12.95 at your local hoity-toity seafood joint, or two dozen of these babies for $1.30? That question is an EASY ONE, Alex.

LUV IT. I give this FOUR CHEWED UP TOBACCO WADS, Alex!

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Mar 09, 2015 8:19 am

It's canned FISH review, not canned SEAFOOD review, so let's get back to our roots with a brand new

CANNED FISH REVIEW

King Oscar Mediterranean-Style Sardines - "Mediterranean Style" in this case means with extra-virgin olive oil, some herbs, and little pieces of red pepper and black olives. The quality of the little brislings themselves is top-notch, but for me, I think there's just too much other stuff going on here. Add to that the fact that it's King Oscar so you're paying twice as much for it, I don't think I'll be a repeat customer. Good product, very tasty, maybe just a bit too fussy and too expensive. Still, can't complain, I'll give this three lily-gilded fish guts.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sun Mar 15, 2015 1:49 pm

I know it's been a while, and I know nobody's reading this anymore, but we got a couple winners here on today's edition of

CANNED FISH REVIEW

WILD PLANET SARDINES IN WATER: Make no mistake, Wild Planet is the best company in fish cannery today. Their tuna is impeccable, so I was very excited to find their sardines in the local Target store. Well, they did not disappoint. I'm not big on the "in water" thing anymore, but these are obviously only the highest quality tiny fish in a can. Rich, dark skin, extremely clean tasting. Hard to imagine a better canned fish. I'd like to try the oil-packed variety, though. I give this four and a half fish guts packed in water.

BUMBLEBEE SMOKED TROUT: Oh my god, this is the best non-sardine canned fish I've ever had. The public may scoff at the "Bumblebee" brand, but god DAMN is this a delicious smoked, canned fish. Perhaps the best there is. I could eat nothing but this for the rest of my life. No skin or bones, which I normally count as a negative, but this is so good I didn't even care. FIVE SMOKED, CANNED FISH GUTS.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue Mar 17, 2015 11:13 am

"...canned fish are actually even better than the fresh..." - paleoleap.com

Well, no kidding!

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Tue Mar 17, 2015 5:33 pm

Marinated octopus suction cups.....I didn't know this product really existed.

From Mad magazine, 1956:

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Wed Mar 18, 2015 5:06 am

Sign me up!

And now a somber note from

CANNED FISH REVIEW

It's something every canned fish fan has to face at some point in their lives, and today is mine. There can be no getting around it now:

Other than specialty boutique or "ethnic" stores, the best canned fish selection, by far, can be found at...

Ugh, it's even hard to type...

WAL*MART

I hate Target with a passion, and my wife knows it is my very least favorite part of our lives, other than all the pets and our daily routine and waking up in the morning. However, if you asked me to choose between Target and Wallyworld, I would choose Target 100000000000 times out of 100000000000. I'm so distressed I won't even count those zeros to make sure they're the same. You understand my point.

And yet, the only place in town -- my town, YOUR town -- to get the good shit is Wally Mart.

So let's suck it up, screw up our courage, get in there, get some quality canned fish as fast as we can, and then get the HELL OUT!

WHO'S WITH ME!?!? LET'S DO THIS SHIT BRIAN!!!!

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sat Mar 21, 2015 7:14 pm

CANNED FISH PORN

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sat Mar 12, 2016 8:30 am

Hey guys, just stopping in, reminiscing about old times. Certainly not going to do another "canned fish review", because I think we've all had quite enough of tha--

CANNED FISH REVIEW

Awwww, shit! We're BACK, with a brand new

CANNED FISH REVIEW

Today's fish is Cole's Smoked Rainbow Trout:

This is available at your local Walmart Neighborhood Grocery. Opening the can reveals a very uniform rectangle of trout, with a fine layer of skin covering the entire fillet.

A sumptuous, tender fish gives way to perfectly smoked overtones in this relatively expensive ($3.99/can) delicacy, but I'd consider it quite worth it, and currently give Cole's Smoked Rainbow Trout the coveted

CANNED FISH REVIEW PLATINUM RATING

Try one today!

loafergirl · Post by **loafergirl** » Fri Mar 25, 2016 7:40 pm

I threatened my children with a can of BBQ Eel at Wegman's when they were being uncooperative.... I fed some of it to the cats... I tried some... can't say as I want to again. Seaweed snacks too. Not so much. Crickets though... I'd eat more crickets.