The Top 5 Standup Comedians of All-Time

[Erebor]

I don't blame you, man. I can be long-winded.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I don't blame you, man. I can be long-winded.

Wait, since then, I have replied. I have replied! And then you wrote again. It is ALL GOOD, man.

[Erebor]

OK, cool.

By the way, I tried to vote for you on Steam, but apparently you have to have an account and log in or something.

By the way, at the risk of embarrassing myself, what the hell is Steam, and why is it so important all of a sudden?

I first heard of it on Spiderweb Software's website, then your site, then Random Thoughts and Digital Eel. It's all over the place, and I get only a vague sense of what it is from reading the homepage. Is it crowd-sourcing for games development? A public opinion forum for indie games? Both?

Oh, and guess what else got an "Orange" review on Steam: Sea of Stars: Infinite Space 3!

So, don't feel bad. You're in good company, Robb.
There's no way that game isn't awesome. I've seen the previews, and I own the first two.

--Erebor

[Flack]

Steam is a software delivery system. After joining Steam, you can buy games through their online store and play them on your PC. It's just a way to buy games and have them downloaded to your computer -- think of it as an online store with some social media aspects built into it. Steam offers lots of new and indie games, but also specializes in wrapping older games inside emulators, making playing them on modern PCs much simpler for the masses.

There also, unfortunately for Robb, seems to be a lot of politics and networking involved in getting your games added to Steam.

[Erebor]

So, it's like NetFlix for shareware (and some commercial-ware). I see. Thanks.

I was wondering how these companies could offer their software at a discount on Steam and still make a profit. I knew there had to be a catch, somewhere. I wonder how much the Steam monthly fees are.

I knew that volume buying would counteract some profit loss there, due to increased exposure, but it still wasn't quite adding up.

We'll try to spread the word for you another way, Robb.

Incidentally, (since you mentioned emulators) you don't know where I can find a version of Dragon Warrior, do you?

--Erebor

[pinback]

So, it's like NetFlix for shareware (and some commercial-ware).

Well, no. Most commercial games released in the last ten years are on there. I have bought 95% of the games I currently own from Steam.

BTW, if you're looking for a really sweet search engine, try "google.com". Kicks the shit out of Lycos!

[Flack]

Unlike Netflix (where you pay a monthly rate and watch everything you want), Steam itself is free, but you pay for each program.

A lot of the games offered on Steam are old games that already made their money the first time, so any money them make online (even if it's only a couple of dollars) is pure profit.

As for newer games, I'm guessing they can offer them at a discount because (a) they are delivered electronically, so there's no physical cost there, and (b) Steam hosts the software so they are saving money there as well.

Are you talking about Dragon Warrior for the NES?

[Tdarcos]

BTW, if you're looking for a really sweet search engine, try "google.com". Kicks the shit out of Lycos!

But how does it compare to AltaVista? (I can be just as silly, too.) And why the hell does Internet Explorer correct my spelling without asking me? (It autocapitalized "altavista" when I typed it in, I had to manually edit it to put it in the "incorrect" way.) It's a bigger story about why I'm using Internet Explorer.

You don't need to answer, it's just rhetorical.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

OK, trying this again. In no order.

Louis CK
Dave Chappelle
Mitch Hedberg
Brian Regan
Patrice O'Neal

[Flack]

Susan got us tickets to go see Amy Schumer last night. She's not in my top five, but some of her stuff is funny.

Schumer performed at the Chesapeake Arena. Capacity is 18k and I'd say the place was 1/3 full. Signs were posted all over the place that said no cell phones, no talking, no tweeting, no pictures, no heckling, no talking.

In the "luckiest man alive" category, the opening act was Jason Stein, an improvisational jazz bass-clarinetist who also happens to be Amy Schumer's brother. The Jason Stein trio performed for 30 minutes to a largely bewildered and disinterested group of people. Talk about a captive audience.

It wasn't like they played while people were being seated; our tickets said the show starts at 8, and he started playing at 8. At one point in between songs Stein said, "and that is the sound of 10,000 people not giving a shit." I'm pretty sure he was right. It was actually kind of so bad that I wondered if it was actually a comedy act and some kind of Andy Kaufman-esque joke, but apparently no, he's serious.



Next up was Rachel Feinstein, who is a short, brunette version of Amy Schumer. Here's a clip of her stand up from 2013. She started off her show with the same bit ("I like to throw change on my boyfriend after sex") but the rest was different. She went on for about 5 minutes about how she likes to give Amish hand jobs, which is just smacking around someone's limp member. I can only assume she is on the tour to make Amy Schumer look good.



At 9pm, after watching 5 minutes of clips from the upcoming season of her television show, Amy Schumer took the stage. Amy Schumer's Amy Schumer -- you like her or you don't. I thought this was the funniest joke of the night, about a conversation she had with her new neighbor.

Neighbor: Did you hear the news?
Amy: No!
Neighbor: Jesus is coming back!
Amy: Well, I'm Jewish, so...
Neighbor: Oh, you haven't found Jesus?
Amy: Oh, we found him alright... Happy Easter!

So anyway, here's a clip of Amy doing stand up on YouTube. Even if you don't like her, at around the 6 minute mark she works in an Oregon Trail joke.

[LG]

OK, trying this again. In no order.

Louis CK
Dave Chappelle
Mitch Hedberg
Brian Regan
Patrice O'Neal

Are you f*cking kidding? No George Carlin!?

[RealNC]

He doesn't want commies on the list.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

This is one of the worst threads in BBS history.

And the correct person at #1 is Norm Macdonald. I was a fool for not knowing otherwise.

[Casual Observer]

Love Norm but he can't possibly be #1 one of the top 5 comedians of all time. Maybe in the top 5 somewhere though.

After you get past Pryor, Carlin, Chappelle, then you got great ones like Bill Hicks, Martin Lawrence, so many. Hell, that really fat guy who died Ralphie May made me laugh out loud more than Norm usually does. Then there's all the new guys, like Bill Burr is hilarous. Norm's genius and his understated sarcasm has only gotten better over time. Hell, I listen to the 12 minute joke at least once every few weeks on youtube but there are so many greats.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Norm is the greatest. And this thread had the opposite of everything. You and I can save it.

Ralphie May, Martin Lawrence and based on that I assume you said Carrot Top do not belong in this conversation, which begins and ends with Norm.

Norm, Patrice, Mitch, Bill Burr and let me sleep on #5.

[Casual Observer]

Carrot top doesn't belong in any discussion about top five HUNDRED comedians, nor does fucking this guy:

[AArdvark]

Nobody goes to a Gallagher show for the comedy. They go to see him bash froot!

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Pinback help me out here

[pinback]

I dunno.

Hedberg. Kinison. Jeselnik. Norm is hilarious but I don't consider him a standup. Hicks was brilliant but not funny. Bill Burr, I'm not as in love with as everyone else, except for the SNL Sam Adams ad.

George Carlin is the most overrated in history. Where Hicks was brilliant and not funny, Carlin was clever and not funny, and that's infinitely worse.

Brian Regan I'd go for, but he got a lot worse. Do you just rate these guys based on how good they were at their best? I think you have to. Okay, Regan's in.

For my fifth, I would pick Bill Cosby. You can't say that anymore cuz he's a nasty filthy rapist hypocrite piece of garbage, but growing up, he was my favorite, and even re-watching stuff a few years ago, I still loved it.

I will separate the artist from the art. Dad is great, gave us the chocolate cake.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

The Brian Regan bit about being in the hospital saying his pain was at a ten is the funniest bit I've heard in 10 years. His last one where he went gray was fine. It's just he had very high highs.