2016 New-Years Resolutions

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Tdarcos
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Joined: Fri May 16, 2008 9:25 am
Location: Arlington, Virginia
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2016 New-Years Resolutions

Post by Tdarcos »

I have decided to publicly announce my New Years resolutions, and only to make ones I'm sure I can keep.

1. I will not drink antifreeze.
2. I will not eat broken glass.
3. I will not store nuclear waste.
4. I will not play with hand grenades.
5. I will not molest children.
6. I will not wash my eyes with drain cleaner.
7. I will not commit armed robbery including bank robbery
8. I will pray to any god who grants me a personal audience and provides his valid god license.
9. I will not remove mattress tags from mattresses I am not the consumer.
"Baby, I was afraid before
I'm not afraid, any more."
- Belinda Carlisle, Heaven Is A Place On Earth

Testiclease

I need no licensure...

Post by Testiclease »

For I am Testiclease!

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loafergirl
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Joined: Thu May 02, 2002 1:26 pm
Location: Rochester

Post by loafergirl »

Where is your prayer Tdarcos?
1, 2, 5!
3 sir...
3!

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Tdarcos
Posts: 9529
Joined: Fri May 16, 2008 9:25 am
Location: Arlington, Virginia
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Post by Tdarcos »

loafergirl wrote:Where is your prayer Tdarcos?
I said, I only pray to those gods who grant me a personal audience AND show me their god license.

Haven't even had any personal audiences yet. I do not accept written excuses like The Bible, for example, especially since a work of fiction doesn't count either.

In lieu of a god license, I'll accept an appropriate miracle. Additional point, I won't say what qualifies as an appropriate miracle; if he, she or it is really a god, they'll already know what I will accept as an appropriate miracle.


"Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. Claims presented without evidence may be dismissed without evidence or further consideration."
"Baby, I was afraid before
I'm not afraid, any more."
- Belinda Carlisle, Heaven Is A Place On Earth

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