The Tiny House Hunters Formula

[Flack]

Tiny Homes are homes generally less than 500 square foot (many are significantly smaller than that at 100-200 square foot) and generally built on trailer frames so that they are mobile. HGTV has been showing a "Tiny House Hunters" formula for at least six hours now and one of my kids lost the remote so it's been on all day. After having watched at least 14 episodes in a row, I've decided to share with you the show's formula.

Each episode begins with a buyer wanting to "go small" for whatever reason. "I wanna go tiny!" they say, and soon a realtor agrees to show them three different tiny homes within their budget. (At least 75% of the time, the homes are over their budget.)

The first home will be a tiny, tiny home, almost always less than 200 square foot. The entire time the buyer will marvel at how small the house is. "THIS BATHROOM IS SO TINY!" They will ask what a composting toilet is, and they will bump their head on the tiny loft. They will say things like "there's no storage!" and make other dumb observations about living in 200 sq. foot. In one episode, the sink was also the bathtub, for example.

The second home will be much larger in comparison -- maybe 600 sq. foot in size. It will seem giant when compared to the first one. They will be amazed that the bathroom and toilet are "full-sized" and that you won't constantly be hitting your head on everything. In this one they will complain about things like the blinds and wall color.

The third home will be Goldilocks -- "just right." It'll be in the part of town they wanted, or have the yard they wanted, or meet whatever other requirement they wanted. It won't have everything -- the buyers will still be disappointed that a 50 sq. foot kitchen isn't big enough for a stove, a full-size fridge and a dishwasher, but by this time, they'll "get it." There will also be one thing missing that just seems ridiculous. ("I just really wanted a wood burning stove.")

Then you get to the part where the buyers settle on which tiny house they're going to buy. Immediately, they rule one house out. The one they rule out will be completely obvious. One guy said he wanted a tiny house so he didn't have to do house maintenance -- he ruled out the one that was located on five acres. The people who wanted their house to be completely mobile ruled out the non-mobile farmhouse.

At that point the buyers will have to choose between a house that met half their needs and the one that was perfect. They will choose the non-perfect one. IT'S A SHOCKING TINY HOUSE TWIST.

The show ends with a follow up visit a few weeks or months later. Sometimes they have painted. They've always had a party and invited all their friends over to their tiny house. Almost all of them have added additional storage (a clothing rod in the bathroom or shelves in the living room).

Rinse. Repeat.

It is the most ridiculous movement in the history of home markets.

I want one so bad.

[AArdvark]

Television is evil and will brainwash you into believing unspeakable things. Does anyone really go coo-coo for coco puffs? Do they? Does anyone want a sink that is also a bathtub?

I just thought of something. What is the difference between one of these tiny mobile houses on trailers or a fifth wheel RV?


THE
ROLLING LUXURY
AARDVARK

[Tdarcos]

IKEA has these demo examples where you can furnish an entire 500 S.F. apartment with everything.

How I know they're kidding? IKEA does not sell electric can openers. Do they think people don't buy canned goods or expects to use a wrist-breaking manual can opener?

[Flack]

Do they? Does anyone want a sink that is also a bathtub?

Some of the compromises they make to get the homes even smaller are ridiculous. In one episode, the toilet was actually inside the shower. I watched one where you had to crank the dinner table up and down manually. Boy, I'll bet that never gets old!

I just thought of something. What is the difference between one of these tiny mobile houses on trailers or a fifth wheel RV?

I've wondered the same thing. Basically, a tiny house is designed to look and function like a house, only smaller. They feel more like a house inside than a camper. Tiny houses are usually much heavier and not designed to be moved all the time. I think some of the differences pertain to zoning laws and such. But you're right -- on some of these episodes the tiny houses are priced at $50k-$70k, at which point you could get a pret-ty nice camper/trailer.

What I'd really like to see is not a two-week or two-month follow up, but a one or two year re-visit. How does taking a bath in your kitchen sink feel now, buddy? Or the lady who said anything more than 18 sq. ft. is a waste of space. Or the people who climb a ladder every night to get up into their sleeping loft. Surely some of that gets old over time.

[Tdarcos]

I just thought of something. What is the difference between one of these tiny mobile houses on trailers or a fifth wheel RV?

I've wondered the same thing. Basically, a tiny house is designed to look and function like a house, only smaller. They feel more like a house inside than a camper. Tiny houses are usually much heavier and not designed to be moved all the time.

I wish to sort of reiterate what I said before. If you can find an IKEA within a 4-6 hour range of where you live I really recommend you go to it. They do several small apartment displays in 250-550 S.F. ranges, and it's amazing when you see how a full kitchen, living room/home office with computer and bookcase, plus a bedroom can fit into less than 300 S.F.

IKEA also does not sell bathroom fixtures the way Home Depot or Lowes does, but it's still amazing to see what ideas IKEA can offer to make a tiny space livable.

[Yumiko]

Mr. Tdarcos, how much square footage (ft2) are you working with?

[RetroRomper]

I actually created a "dream house" floor plan that was 700 sq feet in total after being inspired by this article -

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/23/garde ... .html?_r=0

Looking at everything I own, sort of plan to own, and think I'll need, the mammoth McMansion or even more normal white picket fence house, doesn't really suit me. Apparently it didn't suit the majority of people 60, 70 years ago either -

Back in the 1950s and '60s, people thought it was normal for a family to have one bathroom, or for two or three growing boys to share a bedroom.

As they also note the average sized American home is now about 2,300 SQ (as of 2006,) more than double the size of a house after WW2. Sooooo..... Maybe the whole small house movement is just a rethinking of a tradition that has gotten a bit out of hand?

[Flack]

Well, there's small, and then there's tiny. My first apartment was 600-ish square foot and it didn't feel small to me at all. I had a bedroom, a living room, a small kitchen and dining room, and I was perfectly happy there. With 600 square foot you don't have to do weird things like take a bath in your sink or anything like that.

Obviously, "going small" is easier if you haven't already "gone big" first. It would take me six months to pare down all the things I wouldn't have room for (or need) in a tiny home.

[The Happiness Engine]

Move. Move all the time. After moving every year or two you start to regard those boxes you haven't unpacked since you move in in a different light. "I don't even remember what was in here but i haven't needed any of this in the past two years and do I really want to own it so bad that Imma haul it up and down 4 flights of stairs?"

The answer may surprise you.

[Tdarcos]

After moving every year or two you start to regard those boxes you haven't unpacked since you move in in a different light. "I don't even remember what was in here but i haven't needed any of this in the past two years..."

Someone already solved this one. When you move - especially if you put stuff in storage - write the date on the outside of the box and seal it. If, you find boxes 3 years old, unopened, consider throwing them away. If they are 5 year old boxes, don't even think; throw it out regardless. If you haven't needed it for 5 years and it's still unopened, you never will.

[Jizaboz]

If they are 5 year old boxes, don't even think; throw it out regardless. If you haven't needed it for 5 years and it's still unopened, you never will.

UNLESS there's potentially arcade shit in them!