The Heritage Turkey Thread

[Casual Observer]

A uniquely American turkey, the authentic Heritage Turkey is the turkey that our forefathers knew and cherished. The Narragansett, the oldest United States turkey variety, and the Bourbon Red were placed on the Slow Food U.S.A. “Ark of Taste” in 2001 to prevent their imminent disappearance from the American table.

Here's the thread where I document the process of ordering, brining, cooking, and enjoying a Heritage turkey for this thanksgiving. I figure Xgiving happens only once a year so why have I always been so intent on paying as little as possible for the central meat in my celebratory meal? Plus, I have always enjoyed dark meat much more than white meat when it comes to chicken, turkey, and women.

Step 1) Order the turkey and slap myself to get over the painful part of paying $246 for a 20 - 24 pound turkey. Found 2 major turkey farms in CA that make Heritages, called several of their recommended stores and settled on ordering and having shipped from a store in Fresno. Talked to woman who store employees have dubbed and are thrilled to tell me, "the turkey lady". Turkey lady tells me she's driving to the farm on Friday to get them and then will freeze and ship to me on Monday.

I'll follow up with next steps and pictures as this plays out.

[AArdvark]

That better be some awesome turkey lurkey for that price. Turkey better give a happy ending before you cook it.

THE
SELF-BASTING
AARDVARK

[The Happiness Engine]

Please don't brine it, the brine dilutes the flavor in exchange for making cooking less finicky. Spatchcock that fucker: http://www.seriouseats.com/2014/11/buyi ... d-lab.html

[Jizaboz]

Butterball 20 pound turkey = 24$

[Paul Robinson]

I figure Xgiving happens only once a year so why have I always been so intent on paying as little as possible for the central meat in my celebratory meal? Plus, I have always enjoyed dark meat much more than white meat when it comes to chicken, turkey, and women.

Young (white) boy to Young (white) girl: Coffee?
Young girl to young boy: Yes, thank you.
Young boy to young girl: Cream?
Young girl to young boy: No thank you, I take it black. Like my men.
- Airplane

Step 1) Order the turkey and slap myself to get over the painful part of paying $246 for a 20 - 24 pound turkey.

I may not make six figures a year as you claim but I can get Giant of Maryland through Peapod to deliver a turkey at 99c - $1.29 lb, maybe $22. Even Kosher hens are around $45. Most expensive Butterball is $1.49 a pound.

Whole Foods, a very expensive food store - opened in April literally one block from me across the street - that specializes in high quality food, organic, free-range/uncaged, and hormone and drug free, has organic turkey at $3.49 a pound, non-organic at $2.49.

What makes the one you're buying worth (more than) $10 a pound, <strike>three</strike> four[/i] times the excessive price of Whole Foods?

[Casual Observer]

It's a badass 20 pound bird that can fly. Equal parts white and dark meat in a 20+ lb bird, yum. More than free range, free roaming, no antibiotics or injected saltwater. Probably not worth it again but I've always been curious and you have no idea how fast $200 goes eating out around here so why not once. It may be too gamey for me but i doubt it. It's supposed to be tougher and easier to dry out but I'll be careful not to.

[The Happiness Engine]

What makes the one you're buying worth (more than) $10 a pound, <strike>three</strike> four[/i] times the excessive price of Whole Foods?

Real Food Costs Real Money.

That Butterball turkey is 30-40% water. You are paying $1/lb for salt water. It is also raised in horrible misery, poisons the shit-town the farm is located in, leeches money out of the community, and mangles the poor fucks who have to work there.

The Whole Foods turkey is the exact same thing, but in a fancy wrapper for triple the price.

Oh yeah, they also smuggle illegal aliens into the country, forge them papers, and then fire/deport them as soon as they try to complain about such trivial shit as "losing a leg."

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017 ... cken-plant

In comparison, this is an actual turkey raised outside by an actual person who cares about making food. But hey, you keep shoving them pork patties into your face and pretend that it's not an endless chain of suffering.

[AArdvark]

Alien free turkey, can't go wrong that

[pinback]

It is also raised in horrible misery, poisons the shit-town the farm is located in, leeches money out of the community, and mangles the poor fucks who have to work there.

You can see why Paul has such an affinity for 'em.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Last year was the first time I tried contributing to a Thanksgiving instead of freeloading my way around them, as I did for many years. My goal was to buy a turkey at some shithold farm my wife wanted me to go through. They could not deliver a turkey in time and I had to go through my credit card company to get the charge removed. They couldn't even be bothered to handle that part and take responsibility for their own fuck up.

Best thing I noticed is that EVERYONE has an opinion on how someone else's turkey should be cooked. That "dig a trench and fry it" thing is huge now, too.

[Jizaboz]

Real Food Costs Real Money.

That Butterball turkey is 30-40% water. You are paying $1/lb for salt water. It is also raised in horrible misery, poisons the shit-town the farm is located in, leeches money out of the community, and mangles the poor fucks who have to work there.
[/quote]

There's a local turkey farm that raises turkeys for Butterball.. and the town it is in is nothing like you describe. I get what you are saying about treatment of the animals and low-wage workers.. but I can't justify paying an insane amount of $ for a damn turkey. I also can't be fucking bothered to brine it either.. so I like that it's packaged in salt water!

[Jizaboz]

Can't be bothered to preview before submitting either!!

[Casual Observer]

Update: Heritage is shipped, tracking shows Tuesday afternoon delivery. Talked to the Turkey lady: she got me a 25 pounder which is even bigger than the 20 - 24 pound I expected.

[Casual Observer]

LOCATION DATE LOCAL TIME ACTIVITY
Oakley, CA, United States 11/21/2017 9:14 A.M. Out For Delivery Today
11/21/2017 7:37 A.M. Destination Scan
11/21/2017 6:06 A.M. Arrival Scan
Oakland, CA, United States 11/21/2017 5:00 A.M. Departure Scan
Oakland, CA, United States 11/20/2017 11:19 P.M. Arrival Scan
Fresno, CA, United States 11/20/2017 9:37 P.M. Departure Scan
11/20/2017 8:25 P.M. Origin Scan
11/20/2017 4:11 P.M. Pickup Scan
United States 11/16/2017 5:02 P.M. (ET) Order Processed: Ready for UPS

Out for Delivery, Yay!

[Paul Robinson]

But hey, you keep shoving them pork patties into your face

Why do you goddam fucking bastards keep mouthing off assumptions that you have no idea what you are talking about? I am sick and tired, no, wait, fucking sick and tired of people assigning to me characteristics and/or practices which either have never applied to me or haven't applied to me in years.

It's probably been two years or more since I ate any pork patties. You have no idea how I live, you just make stupid assumptions whether or not they have any validity. But hey, you just keep vomiting out incorrect and inaccurate similes from your piehole, it will remind us all how much of an asshole you are.

-----
I've heard there's a sadist who reads this board but will never post anything. He can't bring himself to click the 'Submit' button.

[Casual Observer]

Quit fucking up my turkey thread, paul.

[Casual Observer]

Update: Heritage is shipped, tracking shows Tuesday afternoon delivery. Talked to the Turkey lady: she got me a 25 pounder which is even bigger than the 20 - 24 pound I expected.

Turkey lady lied! It came in at 22.99 lbs, I guess I can live without those 2 pounds. In other news we did some research and agree with happiness engine against brining. We haven't dried out a Turkey in about 18 years so pretty sure will be fine.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Will you at least consider brining for next year?

[Casual Observer]

Ok, never posted own images before so had to figure that out, thanks use.com. As I mentioned, Turkey was delivered on time, well packed in sturdy cooler box with lots of ice packs.



Still pretty frozen and vacuum bagged like a regular turkey so good to sit till Thurs in our cold fridge.

Yay! Thanksgiving day, time to get this started.



Unpack and clean. Have you ever seen a Turkey neck this fucking huge??

Before BM calls me a yuppie, the digital thermometer was $7 on clearance from Wal-Mart and works great.



Time for rubbing inside and outside of skin with garlic herb wine butter rub and stuff with onions and aromatics (citrus zest, the flavorful outside rind without bitter white part).

I prefer to stuff my Turkey with stuff that ADDs flavor and moisture instead of dry bread crumbs.

We always do our birds backwards, cook almost to temp with tight cover foil and finish with top off for brown. Trades off crispy brown skin for Mmm, moist meat.

FDA now says 165 is fine for Turkey, we took it to 185 then took off top to 220 and it still melts in mouth.



Oh. My. God. There is actually a huge breast of white meat, at the bottom it starts to be almost dark meat in consistency. Surprised by half inch thick outside layer of fat on breast, while well gelled if I had realized then we would have given more top off time. Some pieces with fat layer may get treated to some flame from my cooking torch (plumbers torch).

The white meat tasts as flavorful as normal dark meat. The dark meat tastes like extra flavorful dark meat, even the well boiled neck was tender and delicious. I've read some people call this "gamey", but no way is that true. The overwhelming experience from unpacking through cooking and tasting was freshness.

Lots of leftovers and frozen broth and carcass for soup.

I will absolutely do this or similar naturally raised Turkey, Its totally worth it (hopefully planning more than a week ahead will save some cost).

[Billy Mays]

Why would I call you a yuppie for making a purchase that protects your investment? Taylor is a respectable brand for digital cooking thermometers and you picked one up at a savvy time to do so, congratulations.