Vitamins and the NWO

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Jan 20, 2004 12:51 pm

saidhosdihsh wrote:Were we talking about the *2600* version of Gravitar?

No. No, we were not.

We were talking about both, you stupid lump. I was originally speaking about the 10-in-1 version, which has ... GET THIS the 2600 version of Gravitar in it.

I then expanded my comments to include all the different versions of Gravitar and how bad they all were.

Put some fucking effort into this. I'm not going to write your posts and mine from here on out.

cbczxiufhoife · Post by **cbczxiufhoife** » Tue Jan 20, 2004 3:26 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Put some fucking effort into this. I'm not going to write your posts and mine from here on out.

poop

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Tue Jan 20, 2004 3:28 pm

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Tue Jan 20, 2004 3:37 pm

Yes, Worm?

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Jan 20, 2004 4:18 pm

cbczxiufhoife wrote:
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Put some fucking effort into this. I'm not going to write your posts and mine from here on out.
poop

lollr

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Tue Jan 20, 2004 5:36 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote: Let's get something straight. Lunar Lander barely qualifies as a "game." It's something that mathematics nerds did because they had no artistic flair and couldn't draw anything more complicated than a triangle on the screen. It's spreadsheet gaming if you want to call it that.

Your crack rock is crying for its mommy.

I mean, Jesus Christ, how can someone actually think this? Lunar Lander is a really GOOD game. It's easy to understand, easy to land the ship a couple times, and really hard to master. The basic gameplay can be summed up in a sentence: "Gently land the craft on the moon."

Note that I'm talking about the First Atari Vector Game. Not the text only variations, which are indeed spreadsheet games, but, hey, imagine this: BEFORE SPREADSHEETS and no worse than, well, the rest of that ilk. Not a game like:

BASIC LUNAR LANDER V1.2 wrote: ALT: 287.9412 VEC: 349.2275 FUEL 2258.332
T? 49
V? 4.5

but an actual video game. Just so we're clear.
Let me guess: you don't see the attraction of Dragster ("Get down the track as fast as you can without blowing your engine") either, right? And I guess Space Invaders ("Don't let those fucking aliens land!") doesn't work for you either, right?

Sheesh.

Bruce

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Jan 21, 2004 2:07 pm

bruce wrote:I mean, Jesus Christ, how can someone actually think this? Lunar Lander is a really GOOD game. It's easy to understand, easy to land the ship a couple times, and really hard to master.

Yes! Yes, the senator from Missouri. Go right ahead.

The basic gameplay can be summed up in a sentence: "Gently land the craft on the moon."

And that's crappy. "Shoot all the giant bugs." Cool. "Blow up all the asteroids." Keen. "Get your naked latina across Interstate Zero." Aces.

But what the hell is landing a craft on the moon? Come on now! That's not a game. Aside from it's attempts at ignoring the pass-fail ramifications inherent within (any landing on the moon in 1969 or whenever the "game" first appeared is a good one) it's something which gets glossed over in another game.

If the ENTIRE bit of your game can be ignored in another game (i.e., Space Quest and/or Starflight and/or a million other space games just pop you from the ship to the planet) then you don't have good gameplay.

A good game about landing a ship is Planetfall.

The bad way to do it is Lunar Lander.

And the excreable way to do it is to slob together Gravitar.

Note that I'm talking about the First Atari Vector Game. Not the text only variations, which are indeed spreadsheet games, but, hey, imagine this: BEFORE SPREADSHEETS

Well, sure, but still. Not by much. Lotus 1-2-3 was around in the early 80s.

BASIC LUNAR LANDER V1.2 wrote: ALT: 287.9412 VEC: 349.2275 FUEL 2258.332
T? 49
V? 4.5

Ah-hahaha!

Let me guess: you don't see the attraction of Dragster ("Get down the track as fast as you can without blowing your engine") either, right?

Not my thing, no.

And I guess Space Invaders ("Don't let those fucking aliens land!") doesn't work for you either, right?

An ENTIRE game of shooting aliens? I'm all for it.

I don't know how you equate the two.

It's some guy at NASA's job to land lunar objects. Ditto with getting a dragster working. When it becomes someone's job to shoot rows of aliens out of the sky then maybe my opinion of Space Invaders will change.

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Wed Jan 21, 2004 2:34 pm

I need a copy of True Love.

itgirl · Post by **itgirl** » Wed Jan 21, 2004 7:04 pm

Vitriola wrote:I need a copy of True Love.

The movie about the wedding? The only memorable quote is "I mean, they pee through that thing!"

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Wed Jan 21, 2004 7:54 pm

No, this would be the hentai dating sim. Too bad you couldn't deathmatch that shit online, I'd leave you in the dust with my 1337 romantic skillz.

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Wed Jan 21, 2004 10:07 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote: It's some guy at NASA's job to land lunar objects. Ditto with getting a dragster working. When it becomes someone's job to shoot rows of aliens out of the sky then maybe my opinion of Space Invaders will change.

So, basically, any game which represents something an actual person is paid to do sucks? Is that your contention?

So, senator: does Crazy Taxi suck?

How about John Elway's Football Sodomy 2005?

Custer's Revenge??

Bruce

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Jan 22, 2004 12:33 am

bruce wrote:So, senator: does Crazy Taxi suck?

Yes.

How about John Elway's Football Sodomy 2005?

Actually, John Elway's Quarterback DID suck. They made it back when he was getting blown out of Super Bowls by 30 points. It was terrible.

Custer's Revenge??

Waitasec, I don't think it was his JOB to... Jesus, it wasn't, was it?

Thanks for making me look up the life and times of General Custer. If I wanted to fucking read volumes of content tonight I would have gone on www.sonowthen.net .

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Jan 22, 2004 12:33 am

Vitriola wrote:No, this would be the hentai dating sim. Too bad you couldn't deathmatch that shit online, I'd leave you in the dust with my 1337 romantic skillz.

This thread needs more

1) Someone tossing the salad with a copy of this hentai dating game.

2) Facials

I DON'T CARE WHICH

Lex · Post by **Lex** » Thu Jan 22, 2004 1:36 am

I do.

/sticky

Lysander · Post by **Lysander** » Thu Jan 22, 2004 8:49 am

IceCreamJonsey wrote:If I wanted to fucking read volumes of content tonight I would have gone on
www.sonowthen.net .

Wait, what? You can't get volumes of content off so now then, because Pinback, being the egotistical fuckwit that we all know he is, took down his entire site just because no one visited it. Am I right? Did I miss anything here? Is there, like, a hidden serial number I can use to access the hidden reems of CONTENT!?

Jethro Q. Walrustitty · Thu Jan 22, 2004 8:58 am

Y'know, merely for historical purposes, "Visicalc" was around in the late '70s. I think there was a "Bank Street" spreadsheet as well, as well as plenty of others.

Just because MS Excel wasn't around, doesn't mean that no one had come up with the idea of a spreadsheet before.

I think Jonsey needs to clarify his opinions a tad more. Some games based on what people do in real life can be good. Some not.

Racing sim? Good.
Toenail clipping sim? Bad.

Wait, he said things people are paid to do. OK...
Racing sim? Good.
Hairstyling sim? Bad.

Somewhere I have a Hentai game where you have to make some tied-up chick cum by poking her in the tit with a syringe and injecting some fluid. Really, it's wasn't as good as it sounds. I also nabbed "Do You Like Horny Bunnies?" recently but I certainly don't expect much from it.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Jan 22, 2004 10:35 am

Lysander wrote:Wait, what? You can't get volumes of content off so now then, because Pinback, being the egotistical fuckwit that we all know he is, took down his entire site just because no one visited it. Am I right? Did I miss anything here? Is there, like, a hidden serial number I can use to access the hidden reems of CONTENT!?

Nah. I was just taking a random potshot at a guy who currently has no goddamn web presence.

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Thu Jan 22, 2004 10:49 am

I downloaded Fatal Relations onto my other computer. I should really play that when i get it out of storage. Not that I couldn't get it from Kazaa as easily here, too.

I don't suppose anyone out there ever downloaded and/or burned the last 2 seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, did they? I haven't seen a single episode since ep. 16 of season 5, and I'm really sick of avoiding hints as to what happened. I have waaay too much anime on this computer to start getting them myself, and I don't think they're out on dvd yet.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Jan 22, 2004 11:04 am

Jethro Q. Walrustitty wrote:Wait, he said things people are paid to do. OK...
Racing sim? Good.
Hairstyling sim? Bad.

Right. I can take my Neon out and race it against somebody to the next red light. I do not get paid to do that. (This is aside from the fact that GTA:VC pretty much ruined racing games for me, because now it's not enough just to race a computer opponent, I want to be able to drag them out of the car and double-tap them afterwards.)

Hairdressing, lunar landing, tax management, UO (where you need to get a job to get money in the beginning) being "a lawyer" (like in those shitty Law & Order games) -- fuck that.

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Thu Jan 22, 2004 11:10 am

Good thing nobody gets paid to raise princesses for potential realm-unifying marriage. Then where would you be?