Television commercials.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Wed Jan 07, 2004 6:04 pm

Are white people even allowed in McDonald's anymore?

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Wed Jan 07, 2004 6:07 pm

Sorry, drive thru only....

THE
AND YOU BETTER
DRIVE SOMETHING NICE
AARDVARK

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Jan 07, 2004 6:37 pm

Every fucking commercial on the air right now:

Person1: Hey, I am going to express an interest in... this!
Person2: Okay!
Person1: Wait, if I do that, what hilarious consequences would result!!?!!
(enter: hilarious consequences in dream sequence)
Person1: (looks dumbly at person2)
Person2: (looks dumbly at person1)
Person1: Maybe we should do something else instead.

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Wed Jan 07, 2004 6:43 pm

Yeah, I hated that one where drinking Maxwell House coffee resulted in the Dad getting all fired up and ripping his castrating wife and whiny children apart with his bandsaw.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Jan 07, 2004 6:49 pm

Vitriola wrote:Yeah, I hated that one where drinking Maxwell House coffee resulted in the Dad getting all fired up and ripping his castrating wife and whiny children apart with his bandsaw.

Did you like the Expedia.com ones that were as I described? The Best Buy ones which are as I describe? The car rental one which is as I describe?

Did you like all of those commercials? Excellent! Because they are ALL like that.

Anyway, Maxwell House still does those commercials which are in "a series," like soap operas for people with no short-term memory. Fuck 'em. Their coffee tastes like dishwater, after someone ate other, crystalized dishwater off a plate which has never been washed.

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Wed Jan 07, 2004 6:51 pm

The Best Buy commercial ACTUALLY HAPPENED, you heap. It's not the same AT ALL.

Lysander · Post by **Lysander** » Wed Jan 07, 2004 8:47 pm

Top three commercials which I HATE:

Commercials for child abuse that wildly flipflop between drama and comedy in three seconds.
Commercials for fast food restaurants wherein the helpful employee is *ALWAYS* a cute middle-class-looking white lady, when in fact just about all of them are low-class immigrant workers.

Those fucking "truth... they're the antidrug" commercials, and ESPECIALLY their demonic insestual bastard spawn "The ENFORCER--a GOOD MOM." commercials. I deeply, deeply hate these commercials with the fire of a thousand sons, because every single person in the commercials is very, very BLACK. Seriously. In both the TV *and* the radio commercials, the mom is black, the kid is black, the kid who sells the druggs to the first kid is black... They changed the actors in the commercials just for the sheer hell of it and all of the people are *still* black! The only person who isn't black is the disembodied announcer! Further aggrivating me is the fact that, at least in the enforcer commercials, the mom's response to finding the kid smoking illegal parafanalia in her house is "YOU'RE GROUNDED! That means NO PHONE!" Yes. That's right. This slumbitch mother's idea of grounding is to do nothing but take away this guy's phone privvalages, and that is the extent of what she deems necessary punishment for *breaking the fucking law*. And this *kid*--this Peggy Kailan of black boys--whines like the pathetic 16-year-old that he is "MAWM, COAOM AWN! It was only WEED!" Jesus fucking Christo.

Roody_Yogurt · Post by **Roody_Yogurt** » Wed Jan 07, 2004 8:54 pm

The anti-weed commercials bug me, although I can't entirely fault the one where the kid is saying that his older brother never got into trouble, he never did anything, etc., as that's much more possible than guns materializing out of nowhere and stuff.

Correct Spelling · Post by **Correct Spelling** » Wed Jan 07, 2004 9:02 pm

Lysander wrote:Top three commercials which I HATE:

Commercials for child abuse that wildly flipflop between drama and comedy in three seconds.
Commercials for fast food restaurants wherein the helpful employee is *ALWAYS* a cute middle-class-looking white lady, when in fact just about all of them are low-class immigrant workers.

Those fucking "truth... they're the antidrug" commercials, and ESPECIALLY their demonic insestual bastard spawn "The ENFORCER--a GOOD MOM." commercials. I deeply, deeply hate these commercials with the fire of a thousand sons, because every single person in the commercials is very, very BLACK. Seriously. In both the TV *and* the radio commercials, the mom is black, the kid is black, the kid who sells the druggs to the first kid is black... They changed the actors in the commercials just for the sheer hell of it and all of the people are *still* black! The only person who isn't black is the disembodied announcer! Further aggrivating me is the fact that, at least in the enforcer commercials, the mom's response to finding the kid smoking illegal parafanalia in her house is "YOU'RE GROUNDED! That means NO PHONE!" Yes. That's right. This slumbitch mother's idea of grounding is to do nothing but take away this guy's phone privvalages, and that is the extent of what she deems necessary punishment for *breaking the fucking law*. And this *kid*--this Peggy Kailan of black boys--whines like the pathetic 16-year-old that he is "MAWM, COAOM AWN! It was only WEED!" Jesus fucking Christo.

:(

Todd Heap, Ravens TE · Wed Jan 07, 2004 11:21 pm

Vitriola wrote:The Best Buy commercial ACTUALLY HAPPENED, you heap. It's not the same AT ALL.

I'd appreciate it if you kept from turning "heap" into the new catchphrase insult on this POS bulletin board.

Patriots 43, Titans 10

0 Todd Heap

Sports Expert. · Post by **Sports Expert.** » Wed Jan 07, 2004 11:26 pm

How do you score 43 points in a 43-10 point game?

The easiest way to score 43 is to score 6 touchdowns and go for 2 on one of them, but in a 43-10 game, that obviously would not be the case. So what are we left with?

Five touchdowns, two field goals, and a safety?

Seven touchdowns, on two of which PATs were missed?

Four touchdowns and five field goals?

TWENTY SAFETIES AND A FIELD GOAL??

Todd Heap, Ravens TE: You are an idiot! POW!

Jack Straw · Post by **Jack Straw** » Thu Jan 08, 2004 7:18 am

McDonald's new ad campaign is an anagram for "ailing vomit."

Todd Heap, Ravens TE · Thu Jan 08, 2004 10:19 am

Sports Expert. wrote:How do you score 43 points in a 43-10 point game?

The easiest way to score 43 is to score 6 touchdowns and go for 2 on one of them, but in a 43-10 game, that obviously would not be the case. So what are we left with?

4 tds, 5 fg

jerk

0 Todd Heap

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Thu Jan 08, 2004 11:38 am

Jack Straw wrote:McDonald's new ad campaign is an anagram for "ailing vomit."

They're not only targeting urban welfare mothers, they're also aiming for really stupid mid-life crisis victims.

Sonic Wall Content Filter · Thu Jan 08, 2004 12:58 pm

Jack Straw wrote:McDonald's new ad campaign is an anagram for "ailing vomit."

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Jack Straw · Post by **Jack Straw** » Thu Jan 08, 2004 1:10 pm

hah, he's also banned in the United Arab Emirates

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Thu Jan 08, 2004 4:26 pm

pinback wrote:Are white people even allowed in McDonald's anymore?

It sounds like someone is not loving it.

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Thu Jan 08, 2004 4:51 pm

I did a google images search to see how many white as opposed to Asian, black, or whatever people were in all the pictures. Here's one:

that looks like the 2 races went to a barn dance with each other, and can't figure out which side of the open space to stand against, pretending the other half doesn't exist.

I'd heard this before:

but people, this is just wrong.

I swear to Christ I'm never eating there again.

Christ · Post by **Christ** » Thu Jan 08, 2004 8:33 pm

I'm RUVVING it!!

Lysander · Post by **Lysander** » Thu Jan 08, 2004 9:16 pm

Vitriola wrote:I did a google images search to see how many white as opposed to Asian, black, or whatever people were in all the pictures. Here's one:

that looks like the 2 races went to a barn dance with each other, and can't figure out which side of the open space to stand against, pretending the other half doesn't exist.

I'd heard this before:

but people, this is just wrong.

I swear to Christ I'm never eating there again.

Allow me to do you one better.No pun intended. Of course.

Television commercials.

Television commercials.

Re: Television commercials.