QUESTION: If, when you drop a buttered piece of bread, it drops butter side down, and a cat always lands on its feet, what would happen if you took a piece of buttered bread, strapped it on the back of a cat (butter side up) and dropped it from a great height?
ANSWER: Even if you are too lazy to do the experiment yourself you should be able to deduce the obvious result. The laws of butterology demand that the butter must hit the ground, and the equally strict laws of feline aerodynamics demand that the cat can not smash its furry back.
If the combined construct were to land, nature would have no way to resolve this paradox. Therefore it simply does not fall.
That's right you clever mortal (well, as clever as a mortal can be), you have discovered the secret of antigravity! A buttered cat will, when released, quickly move to a height where the forces of cat-twisting and butter repulsion are in equilibrium. This equilibrium point can be modified by scraping off some of the butter, providing lift, or removing some of the cat's limbs, allowing descent.
Most of the civilized species of the Universe already use this principle to drive their ships while within a planetary system. The loud humming heard by most sighters of UFOs is, in fact, the purring of several hundred tabbies.
The one obvious danger is, of course, if the cats manage to eat the bread off their backs they will instantly plummet. Of course the cats will land on their feet, but this usually doesn't do them much good, since right after they make their graceful landing several tons of red-hot starship and pissed off aliens crash on top of them.
Cat gravity
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Re: Cat gravity
AArdvark wrote:QUESTION:
This equilibrium point can be modified by scraping off some of the butter, providing lift, or removing some of the cat's limbs, allowing descent.
What is the cat to butter ratio?
What about adding more butter????
Does "light" butter work or do you need more?
Does the bread type matter?
I understand you can't use I Can't Believe it's Not Butter, but what if it is used in conjunction with I Can't Believe It's Not Cat?
Enquiring minds want to know!!!
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Nothing like a hot buttered cat in front of a roaring fire. It would be even better if my house had a fireplace. Balls! I hope the fire dept. brings Grey Poupon.
Using a 4.5 pound orange tabby (mean specific gravity 1.0025) and a slice of wonder (middle piece, not the yuck ends slices)
The butter is Land O Lakes, about one tablespoon for
starters. More to taste...
The cat will float about 1 to 2 feet above the floor. Usually not for very long because cats don't like to float as a general rule.
Finish the results later, gotta do the gotowork thing.
Using a 4.5 pound orange tabby (mean specific gravity 1.0025) and a slice of wonder (middle piece, not the yuck ends slices)
The butter is Land O Lakes, about one tablespoon for
starters. More to taste...
The cat will float about 1 to 2 feet above the floor. Usually not for very long because cats don't like to float as a general rule.
Finish the results later, gotta do the gotowork thing.