Ben's Gaming Update!

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Wed Mar 10, 2004 9:42 pm

Welcome back to the feature absolutely nobody's interested in: Ben's Gaming Update!

Today's update:

WC3: Two more scenarios down, and we are now within TWO MORE scenarios of being all caught up to where I was when I quit two years ago! ETA: TOMORROW!

Syberia: Got stuck for about two hours in one spot, quit for dinner, then went back to it with a fresh perspective, and got back on track. I'd imagine that I'm now OVER halfway through it!

3/10 timesheet:

GAMING: 10 hours
NOT GAMING: 4 hours

And Jonsey says I'm wasting my life. GET REAL!!

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Mar 11, 2004 9:17 am

What are the odds that we'll get a full review of Syberia?

For what it's worth, I am posting a review Debaser gave me tonight. So this could be REVIEW WEEK here on JC!

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Thu Mar 11, 2004 12:33 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:What are the odds that we'll get a full review of Syberia?

Pretty goddamn good, as I am now FINISHED with it. Syberia, then, gets the distinction of being the first and only commercial adventure game that I've ever finished (or at least, remember finishing).

Hard to believe, isn't it?

ISN'T IT?

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Thu Mar 11, 2004 6:25 pm

Today's Update, 8:30 PM!!!
--------------------------------
Syberia: COMPLETED. Wrote a brilliant review, which Jonsey has yet to post on the website because he's afraid that the front page will chemically reject any new content.

WC3: Something depressing, then good, then depressing again! This morning, I did one scenario, thinking I had one more to go to get caught up, but it turns out I only made it to the SECOND-to-last scenario of the second campaign the first time around, which was depressing.

But also good, because it meant I was all caught up! So I started the scenario which I got stuck on two years ago and caused me to quit the game in the first place.

I played it once! I failed! (This was the first time I'd failed ANY mission in the game.)

I played it twice! I failed! (This was the second time I'd failed ANY mission in the game.)

I played it thrice! I failed! (This was the third time I'd failed ANY mission in the game.)

I'm now considering quitting again! But I've come too far. So I've brewed a fresh pot of coffee, and am now going to fire the game up, and not STOP playing until I either FINISH the goddamn scenario, or until midnight, whichever comes first.

This means that in 3.5 hours, I will either be gloriously on my way to finally putting paid to this game...

...or WC3 goes back in the cardboard box, never to be seen again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!

(!!!)

Stay tuned for the next...

BEN'S GAMING UPDATE!!!

!!!!!

!

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Thu Mar 11, 2004 8:23 pm

Yes.

Y-- yes? Yes...

(Yes.)

YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It took two years, a lot of coffee, and it required that I quit my job, ruin my career, and move across country to a dingy little south-eastern town where Krispy Kremes are considered haute cuisine, but I finished that fucking scenario! I FINISHED IT! I MADE IT!!!

And to make matters even better, turns out that was the last scenario in the Undead campaign, which I was more than happy to see, because those Undeads are icky, yucky people and I felt DIRTY playing as them!!!

I was so effing thrilled to finally move on in the game that I ended up playing the first two scenarios of the next campaign (though the first few scenarios of each campaign are generally short and relatively easy, but I needed that.)

Now let's engage in a little "Q & A", featuring our good old friends, "Q" and "A":

Q. You didn't CHEAT, did you?

A. No! Not at all!

Q.

A. Well, define "cheating".

Q. You didn't reduce the difficulty level, did you?

A. Heavens no! I'd not feel honorable unless I did it on the standard difficult level.

Q. You didn't scour the internet looking for "hints & tricks" for that scenario, did you?

A. Are you kidding? If I'm gonna have some 12 year old dork walk me through the game, I might as well not even play it!

Q. You didn't hit "save game" every few minutes, and then just replay the last three minutes of the game a bunch of times until you finally lucked out and got it right, did you?

A. LOOK MOTHERFUCKER, it's a HARD scenario! You have to DEFEND this guy for 30 minutes, and things always go real well for the first 27:30 or so, and then like HUNDREDS of these motherfuckers come from EVERYWHERE and start TEARIN' SHIT UP!!! The first few times, I kept getting to within like 90 seconds of it being over. I ain't gonna sit there all night playing the first 28 minutes of the fucking thing over and over and over again!! I may not have a life, but I've got more of a life than THAT. So WHAT if I just played the last two or three minutes over a few times? Fuck, on the SECOND to last try, I got within *8 SECONDS* of winning. You're going to deny me passage into the next campaign because of EIGHT FORKING SECONDS?? FUCK YOU, man. I never liked you, you know.

Q. Uh huh. Yeah. Nice "win" you got there. Real strategic "genius".

A. LOOK GODDAMMIT, this is the BEST mood I've been in in WEEKS, and you're not going to spoil it for me!!

Q. You're in the best mood in weeks because you beat a scenario in a VIDEO GAME?

A. ...well...

Q. You need help, bro.

A. LA LA LALA I CANT HEAR YOU IM NOT LISTENING LA LA LA LA LA

Q. I'm outta here.

A. STILL CANT HEAR LA LA LA LA LALALALAAAAAA.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sat Mar 13, 2004 11:24 am

I know you've all been starving for another installment of BEN'S GAMING UPDATE, so I wouldn't think to deprive you for another second!

After my three-day dalliance with Syberia, I've returned to a steady diet of 2 to 3 Warcraft III scenarios per day. That's just about right, as the scenarios are continuing to get LONGER, and also HARDER, requiring an occasional replay, and also an occasional requirement to actually *think* about the strategies to be implemented to accomplish a certain goal. I tell you, my love for this game burns hotter and brighter with every passing hour I spend with it. A full review will be posted upon my completion of the single player game, a review two years in the making, and a review that absolutely nobody wants to read.

Gotta give a "shout out" to my man ICJ for sending me a copy of the original Warcraft: Humans and Orcs, for a little history lesson. I played the very first (training) scenario, and came to the following conclusion: Man! That SUCKS! But as it's a relic from the very beginnings of RTS development, it's an interesting artifact. But Jesus. How did anyone play that game? Is there even a way to group units and have the grouping saved? You can't even draw a BOX in this piece of shit! Nice voice acting, too. I've flushed better turds!

And now, a little "comic relief" for those of you who stayed with me this far:

Remember how I spent days replaying the first two campaigns so I could get back to where I was when I quit all that time ago?

Heh. Well... heh. I was poking around my hard drive last night, and... heh... well, you'll never guess what I found! I found: "C:\BEN\WC\SAVE". Heh. Seems I'd actually had the foresight to save my previous profile and carry it along with me on my journey, just in case I decided to start playing again.

Of course, forethought is only useful if you remember that you had it! Which I did not! Heheheh.

Oh well, I needed to brush up on my skills and remember where I was in the story anyway. So, you know... It's GOOD that this happened. It's GOOD that I'm such a fucking idiot.

"It's a good thing." - Prisoner #294817

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Mar 13, 2004 1:58 pm

pinback wrote:Gotta give a "shout out" to my man ICJ for sending me a copy of the original Warcraft: Humans and Orcs, for a little history lesson. I played the very first (training) scenario, and came to the following conclusion: Man! That SUCKS! But as it's a relic from the very beginnings of RTS development, it's an interesting artifact. But Jesus. How did anyone play that game? Is there even a way to group units and have the grouping saved? You can't even draw a BOX in this piece of shit!

That came came out before computers could really handle the "box" designation. People would try to do it with Logo and that little turtle, but it never worked right.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Mar 15, 2004 7:31 pm

Warcraft III?

Yeah, man, I finished that game.

WC3 Expert · Post by **WC3 Expert** » Mon Mar 15, 2004 9:00 pm

Hey Pinback, congratulations! ! Took two years for ya.. was it worth it?

And did you play it on Hard or Normal and if Normal are you going to play it on Hard?

Also are u gonna write a review?

Also are u gonna play on battlenet??

Congrats again on conquering the best RTS in the world!!!!

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Mar 15, 2004 9:07 pm

WC3 Expert wrote:Hey Pinback, congratulations! ! Took two years for ya.. was it worth it?

Although I feel odd discussing this with you, given the way I've (quite deservedly) ripped you an ass lately for your absolutely insane obsession with the game, thank you for your kind words. Yes indeed it was worth it, though I feel quite silly now having put the game away for so long just because I got caught on one stupid scenario.

And did you play it on Hard or Normal

Normal, definitely. I'm guessing that if you play it on "Hard", and do not know all the "tricks" of the game, it would take so long to get to the end that you'd 1) forget where in the story you are, and 2) begin to hate the game and then quit forever.

and if Normal are you going to play it on Hard?

No chance.

Also are u gonna write a review?

Well, I go back and forth on this. On the one hand, I'd like to review it, as I have a lot to say about it. On the other hand, it's 2 years old and I doubt anyone's going to learn anything from anything I write, and my "RTS pedigree" is not such that I or my opinions will get any respect. So, I have to balance my need to express myself with the knowledge that it'd be a giant waste of time.

Also are u gonna play on battlenet??

Probably not much. I did play my very first online game, though, just this past hour. I played against a guy who said he'd "never played the game before". I just barely managed to eke out a win. I guess 40 hours of play don't build up the skillz like they used to.

Congrats again on conquering the best RTS in the world!!!!

Don't say that around these parts, they'll laugh you out of town.

WC3 Expert · Post by **WC3 Expert** » Mon Mar 15, 2004 9:13 pm

pinback wrote:Although I feel odd discussing this with you, given the way I've (quite deservedly) ripped you an ass lately for your absolutely insane obsession with the game

You say I'm insanely obsessed??? At least I didn't spend all day playing the game and then get on here, on a PUBLIC FORUM and start having an entire conversation with MYSELF about it.

Aren't you kind of EMBARASSED??

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Mar 15, 2004 9:15 pm

WC3 Expert wrote:At least I didn't spend all day playing the game and then get on here, on a PUBLIC FORUM and start having an entire conversation with MYSELF

Well, nobody else was going to talk with me about it.

Aren't you kind of EMBARASSED??

Very, yes.

Debaser · Post by **Debaser** » Mon Mar 15, 2004 10:42 pm

pinback wrote:Well, I go back and forth on this. On the one hand, I'd like to review it, as I have a lot to say about it. On the other hand, it's 2 years old and I doubt anyone's going to learn anything from anything I write, and my "RTS pedigree" is not such that I or my opinions will get any respect. So, I have to balance my need to express myself with the knowledge that it'd be a giant waste of time.

If it helps any, I would like to hear some sort of summary as to why this is the greatest RTS in the history of the genre and in what specific way playing it is similar to having that Divine Figure you had previously doubted the existence of whisper in your ear and tell you everything is going to turn out all right.

Because I kind of want to play this game again. But I kinda don't want to replay through the (not bad and occasionally fun but rather generic) Human Missions, the (extremely lame) first couple Undead Missions, and the (really quite fun) later Undead Missions. And I definitely don't want to face the stark horror of the (evil, thoroughly unpleasant) final Undead Mission again. But I do want to get to the part where I get to order around pointy eared chits who operate best in the dark.

So, I guess, what I'm saying, is I'd need to be sold. And if you could tell me if the second half of the game is signifigantly, noticeably better than the first, I'd like to know that, too.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue Mar 16, 2004 10:04 am

Debaser wrote:If it helps any, I would like to hear some sort of summary as to why this is the greatest RTS in the history of the genre

Short answer: It's the only one I've ever felt compelled to play more than the first four or five missions of. I'll save the long answer for the review.

And I definitely don't want to face the stark horror of the (evil, thoroughly unpleasant) final Undead Mission again.

I'll send you a saved game with 1:30 left to go in the mission, for a modest fee.

So, I guess, what I'm saying, is I'd need to be sold. And if you could tell me if the second half of the game is signifigantly, noticeably better than the first, I'd like to know that, too.

The missions in the last half are, in my opinion, significantly more interesting than those of the first half, plus you get more gorgeous environmental graphics, and even an ol' fashioned dungeon crawl, if that's your thing. However, if you are not sold on it by the time you're halfway through, there's nothing about the rest of it which is going to change your mind.

It's just inconceivable that any even SLIGHT fan of the RTS genre could declare WC3 anything less than wonderful with a straight face.

Then again, I find almost everything inconceivable.

Debaser · Post by **Debaser** » Tue Mar 16, 2004 5:29 pm

pinback wrote:It's just inconceivable that any even SLIGHT fan of the RTS genre could declare WC3 anything less than wonderful with a straight face.

See, I guess it's just that none of the units (at least amongst the humans and undead) particularly excite me. I can barely remember any of them. They just don't do anything particularly interesting. It's not like Starcraft where I could cloak up a ghost and send him out to call up tactical nuclear strikes on my opponents base or get those cool tank things that could transform into devastatingly powerful but immobile cannons on command. Or how I could sacrifice two of those useless magician units the Protoss had to create a giant blue glowing guy who shat lighting and was cheaply healed by my shield generators. Or those giant balloon ships that spewed tinier ships at enemies in combat. Those were fucking awesome. Hell the C&C games had more imaginitive units and those games were supposed to be based in the real world. This is fantasy, can I maybe get something fantastic?

Unless the <s>Drow</s> Night Elves and Orcs seriously pump it up, WC3 is basically just a bunch of guys running around braining each other with swords. Don't get me wrong, I like the game. And reading you gush about it has gotten me interested again, so I'll probably at least give it another shot. But the more I try to remember about my last experience the less memorable it seems.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Tue Mar 16, 2004 5:39 pm

Would you consider WC3 a better or worse strategy game than Starcraft?

I actually had made some Starcraft maps at one point and most of them played like shit. Then I got the hang of it and things went better.

THE
OH MY GOD, HE'S WACKED
AARDVARK

Debaser · Post by **Debaser** » Tue Mar 16, 2004 6:59 pm

AArdvark wrote:Would you consider WC3 a better or worse strategy game than Starcraft?

I'd say worse. But if you're especially enamoured with the graphics or with 3D or with the pretty good way they handle hero units, then it might go the other way. And, again, I've only played half the races.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue Mar 16, 2004 7:06 pm

Debaser wrote:See, I guess it's just that none of the units (at least amongst the humans and undead) particularly excite me.

As great as they look and sound, even the lowliest foot soldier is pretty interesting to me. But when you get to the tiger-ridin' Priestess who can rain stars down on bad guys, or the dudes who can turn into bears and scratch the eyes out of the enemy, or the big ol' wagons chucking globs of diseased, rancid meat at their foes?

I dunno, I kinda dig it. And I'm not a huge fan of the "fantasy" genre to begin with.

Oh well.

give it another shot. But the more I try to remember about my last experience the less memorable it seems.

I think it's wonderful that we can all have such differing viewpoints and opinions about the same thing! Isn't that truly what makes life so interesting?

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Tue Mar 16, 2004 8:01 pm

pinback wrote:Isn't that truly what makes life so interesting?

No, it's probably the titties.

Bruce

Debaser · Post by **Debaser** » Mon Mar 22, 2004 1:40 pm

pinback wrote:Warcraft III?

Yeah, man, I finished that game.

Hey! Me too!

The missions in the last half are, in my opinion, significantly more interesting than those of the first half...

This statement is true!

However, if you are not sold on it by the time you're halfway through, there's nothing about the rest of it which is going to change your mind.

This statement is false!

Debaser wrote:I'd say [Warcraft 3 is a] worse [game than Starcraft].

This statement is also false!

Pinback wrote:But when you get to the tiger-ridin' Priestess who can rain stars down on bad guys, or the dudes who can turn into bears and scratch the eyes out of the enemy, or the big ol' wagons chucking globs of diseased, rancid meat at their foes?

My favorite unit is the troll witch doctor! Stasis trap! Area healing! Racist undertones!

***

Warcraft 3 Rating Update (out of a maximum possible RECOMMENDED!!!)...

Previous Status: Recommended!

New Status: RECOMMENDED!!