I beseech Jolt Country forum viewers for assistance!

Lysander · Post by **Lysander** » Fri Aug 27, 2004 11:43 pm

Okay, I've been meaning to do this for a while now, but never really thought that it was my obligation to bother everyone else with problems they can't really do much of anything about. But, really, in the interests of content, I'll just say what the hell and post this.

I have a girlfriend. All of you in the peanut gallery can go ahead and laugh. Go ahead. I'll wait for you. You done? Good. She lives in Alabama, and I, as everyone except you knows, am in Alaska. This... ah... kind of sucks. But that's not my problem. Oh, no.

At around August 4th, if I recall correctly, a guy came down to the pool hall she works at and started somewhat aggressively hitting on her. When she told him she already had a boyfriend and kindly fuck the fuckity fuck off and stop staring at her tits while pretending to read the choices on salad menu you patronizing little gimp (I'm making that last bit up because it would be funny) he became, ah, quite upset. They practically had to drag him out of the place when it closed because he just wasn't leaving.

The next night, he comes back. Doesn't do anything, doesn't approach her. He just stands and watches her.

...For three hours.

Third night, he comes back again. He acts somewhat normally, we're all praying he's just forgotten about the whole thing. Then about twenty minutes until closing time, he taps her on the shoulder. She looks up, and he takes a picture of her face from six inches away. Can we say flashbulb?

The manager practically goes crazy, he literally throws the beefcake out of the place and screams at him never to come back.

Forth day, he comes back again, but doesn't go in, he just sort of hangs around the parking lott. (the establishment is in a mall, so the gmnager can't do anything about it.)

There are bright sides. Whenever she's seen him, she's slept at her friends house rather than her own. Said friend is currently at the top of her Ninjitzu class 9can't remember which school at the moment), and has a shotgun propped by her bed when she sleeps. Said friend has been escourting her from work every night just to make sure that he doesn't come back, which appears to be a justified fear because he has been showing up about once every week now just to, I don't know, remind us he's here, or something. Now, I might want to ask Nuckles the Clown about this to correct me if I'm wrong here, but I can't see how he can avoid the fact taht she is quite honestly frightened at the very sight of him and the chances of them going out on a date are approximately 0, which means he can only be hanging around because he intends something... ah, nasty.

Anyway. She's also gone to the police and gotten a restraining order, which as of two days aga has been broken when he showed up at the parking lott outside where she works when she was going to her car. However, ah, you will excuse me if I am somewhat scheptical of the work ethic of the Alabaman plice force.

As for personal defense, she is not exactly a muscle chick. In fact, she is quite small and inexperienced in combat. However, said Nin-Ja (TM) friend is teaching her some basic wrist-breaking/nadd-kneing/escape roll techniques and so forth. I also have been bugging her about getting some sort of protection like bear mace, but I don't know if she's done it or not. On the bright side, we have his name and address and so forth, so if anything happens to her vengence can be swift.

I'm asking you guys because it is quite clear that this guy is not going to just go the fuck *away*, and I would appreciate it if anyone could give some advice, something to prepare that we might have missed.

Lysander · Post by **Lysander** » Sat Aug 28, 2004 12:24 am

Robb, if I missed anything there, be sure to fill it in for me, kay? Thanks.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Sat Aug 28, 2004 6:02 am

Obviously, you need a plane ticket and a ball bat.

THE
DON'T CORK IT
EITHER
AARDVARK

chris · Post by **chris** » Sat Aug 28, 2004 6:19 am

Well, you could eliminate the problem by getting a new girlfriend.

Barring that, one option is to have somebody walk around with her when she's outside, and if he breaks the restraining order, he can be arrested (and she'll have a witness to prove it). Once the baffoon gets arrested, he will (hopefully) finally get the hint and leave her alone.

I know somebody who had a problem like this, and she was eventually left alone once the police intervened.

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Sat Aug 28, 2004 9:56 am

You know "beefcake" is usually a positive term right?

Lex · Post by **Lex** » Sun Aug 29, 2004 7:26 am

Purchase a taser. I really good one that comes with three-or-so shot-cannisters will cost about $200-250.

They are very cool, though.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sun Aug 29, 2004 8:00 am

I do not understand the nature of this relationship. How long has she been your "girlfriend"? How often do you see this person? Are you ever planning to have her move near you, or vice versa, or will this continue being a long-distance relationship for the foreseeable future?

I do not understand the nature of this relationship.

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Sun Aug 29, 2004 10:16 am

I can't imagine it's hard to get a concealed carry permit in Alabama, unless she has a felony conviction.

And an Alabama jury isn't going to convict some innocent chick who shot a guy against whom she's had a restraining order.

She probably won't even have to shoot him. Just pull the gun and keep him there until the cops arrive. How big is she? Does she usually carry a purse? Little ladies' guns are pretty shitty; she doesn't want to be pulling a .22 or even a little feminine nickel-plated .32 on him. I'd recommend a hammerless .38 revolver--and if it's one that's designed to withstand the pressure of a .357 Magnum shell so much the better. I don't know if the Colt Python comes in a short-barrel hammerless version or not, but it's a nice pistol. She needs something, though, where the trigger pull isn't so great that it will ruin her aim.

Now, why, I hear you ask, am I recommending a revolver rather than an automatic pistol? Because if it's hammerless, there's nothing to snag in her purse, and if she keeps the chamber under the hammer empty, then she doesn't have to work the slide like she would on an automatic, which would offer her assailant a chance to grab her arm, but neither does she need to go around with a round in the chamber, which is a REALLY BAD IDEA. With the revolver, pull the trigger once, click, cylinder advances, pull it again, bang, problem solved.

Bruce

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Sun Aug 29, 2004 5:57 pm

Wow, how about we don't hurt or kill anyone?

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sun Aug 29, 2004 6:02 pm

Don't worry, Worm. Bruce just likes it when he gets a chance to show off and yap about something he thinks he knows something about.

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Sun Aug 29, 2004 9:23 pm

Worm: because this guy is a fucking creepy stalker who deserves to have his skin nailed to the bar door as a warning to others.

Pinback: blow me.

Bruce

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Aug 29, 2004 10:18 pm

pinback wrote:I do not understand the nature of this relationship.

These are questions that need answers. You cannot defend a girl from the creepy element that exists in this world when you're thousands of miles away.

When are you two seeing each other again?

Lysander · Post by **Lysander** » Mon Aug 30, 2004 9:04 am

pinback wrote:How long has she been your "girlfriend"?

About three months now.

Pinback wrote:How often do you see this person?

I tend to converse with her about five hours a day, on average, over yahoo instant messenger. Other than that, no. And don't give me that look, I am fully aware of the "dangers" of online relationships, believe me.

Pinback wrote:Are you ever planning to have her move near you, or vice versa, or will this continue being a long-distance relationship for the foreseeable future?

We both plan to have her move up here, which she will do whenever she manages to get the money to do so, which is a lot considering the plane ticket alone would cost a thousand dollars and she'd still have to have a cargo plane deliver her furnature first and get an apartment and all of that jazz, which costs, like, money.

Lysander · Post by **Lysander** » Mon Aug 30, 2004 9:05 am

Bruce: I thought about a gun, but got talked out of it, right now I'm more concerned with the guy managing to get it from her, in which case she is in trouble.

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Mon Aug 30, 2004 10:49 am

Lysander wrote:Bruce: I thought about a gun, but got talked out of it, right now I'm more concerned with the guy managing to get it from her, in which case she is in trouble.

Pepper spray?

Still very unpleasant, but not lethal.

Bruce

Lysander · Post by **Lysander** » Mon Aug 30, 2004 3:50 pm

Yeah, pepper spray was what we agreed on.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Sep 07, 2004 10:26 pm

Did you give any thought to pepper spray which was fitted to spray bullets?

Lysander · Post by **Lysander** » Wed Sep 08, 2004 8:58 am

...

What?