LOL!

[pinback]

This kid is blind!! LOL!!

Hey Lysander, how come you suck at Mortal Kombat?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050728/ap_ ... lind_gamer

[AArdvark]

When he does go to college, Mellen wants to study — what else? — video-game design.

Yeah, the screen shots will look like this..

THE
PROBABLY GREAT AUDIO
THO
AARDVARK

[Lysander]

I do not suck at Mortal Kombat. I am wounded by your accusations.

Finally, a post worth responding to on this board. Jesus.

...You mean to say that all I needed to do was call up Yahoo and ask them for an MVC2 match to become famous? Fucking ass.

"I can't say that I'm a superpro," he said, working the controller like an extension of his body. "I can be beat."

Good example of unbiased reporting there, Yahoo. Mortal Kombat sucks. I like it, but it sucks. It's simply a bad example of the fighting game genre. Saying oyu are good at it is not htat great a concept. What does this guy do, pick Baraka and mash on the HP button and jam teh control stick all the way back? Or does he just trip you all the time? ...Who the fuck names their kid Brice Mellen, anyway. Brice? Jesus.

Those bold enough to challenge him weren't so lucky. One by one, while playing "Soul Caliber 2," their video characters were decapitated, eviscerated and
gutted without mercy by Mellen's on-screen alter ego.

Translation: Necrid player.

I used to have quite a temper... Me and controllers didn't get along very well.

I've been doing this for ten years at least. I have yet to break a single controler. Whiny bitch.

While playing "Soul Caliber 2," Mellen worked his way through the introductory screens with ease, knowing exactly what to click to start the game he wanted.

Hahaha, I love this part of the article. The guy can click the X button twice. Wow, man. That's real skill there. That's so incredibly impressive. Truly, I am awed and amazed by your omg superior sk11z.

He rarely asked for help. Once the game started he didn't need any help.

"Uh hey guy, could you like, play my game for me? I need help!" I think someone misunderstands the purpose of tournament fighting.

"How do I move?" an exasperated opponent, Ryan O'Banion, asked during a battle in which his character is frozen in place.

"You can't," Mellen answered before finishing him off.

There's two options here. The first is that the guy's exploiting some killer bug in a game to win. The other is that they're playing Mortal Kombat, and this competitor is so stupid that he doesn't realize that Sub-Zero can freze people. Either way, that part says a lot of really bad things (TM) about how he plays. Feh, this guy's probably overblown street trash. It'd almost be worth the extravagant pricetag to go town there and prove it to him on Marvel--a real competitive fighting game.

Edit--I would make another amusing commentary on teh comments responding to this news article, but Yahoo's message forum truly is the most pathetic piece of shit I have ever seen, so I don't think I'll be clicking to view 941 indevidual messages, thanks all teh same.

[Lysander]

Those bold enough to challenge him weren't so lucky. One by one, while playing "Soul Caliber 2," their video characters were decapitated, eviscerated and
gutted without mercy by Mellen's on-screen alter ego.

Seriously. They got Soul Calibur confused with Mortal Kombat. LOL, fucking noob firecracker.

[Worm]

I thought they were talking about the first Mortal Kombat. Who the fuck even still plays that shit? I could probably destroy this kid in Tekken.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I really think Mortal Kombat II is the pinnacle of the genre.

[Worm]

I really think Mortal Kombat II is the pinnacle of the genre.

So, you suck at the 3d ones, huh?

[Lysander]

I thought they were talking about the first Mortal Kombat.

I'm pretty sure they're talking about MK. Deception. In which case, well, beating the guy is really easy. Just knock him off the fucking pit, dumbass.

Who the fuck even still plays that shit?

People who don't know any better. Alternatively, people who want to impress other people who don't know any better. Alter alternatively, people who like blood extraviganzas.

I could probably destroy this kid in Tekken.

Blindfolded?

See, the confusion between SC and MK is funny, because SC is actually damned-near impossible for me (and by extention this jackass) to play because there are so many things to memorize. It's the same with Tekken, and Virtua Fighter for that matter. You probably could wipe the floor with him in Tekken. I dont' know if I could.

[Lysander]

I really think Mortal Kombat II is the pinnacle of the genre.

So, you suck at the 3d ones, huh?

Please stay on topic, meatbags.

[bruce]

I could probably destroy this kid in Tekken.

I could probably beat him if we went trap shooting. I bet I could take him in Space Invaders too.

Bruce

[Vitriola]

This reminds me of my dad telling me I should get a job as a typist, because I type so fast. Aside from the fact that my father is full of useless, and sometimes useful, advice, I type about 30 words a minute, with 2 fingers. He thinks I'm the cat's ass because he's an old guy who types like 4 wpm, and is very easily impressed by the clicking of the keyboard. And it's just really fucking useless to try and point things like that out to him.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I really think Mortal Kombat II is the pinnacle of the genre.

So, you suck at the 3d ones, huh?

I prefer to believe that the 3D ones suck at existing.

I played one of them for the Saturn. Virtua Fighter remix or VF2 or something. It was "3D!!!!!"

What it amounted to was using the side triggers to change the plane around 90 degrees at a time. Are you fucking kidding me. That's "3D!!!!" all of a sudden.

The models were in 3D. The arena was. So were the weather effects, I'm sure, and everything else but the text that said "FIGHT!" But the genre peaked and nobody had anything to add. Wow, a bunch of Japanese people beating the shit out of each other. Thrilling! Haha, now this one's a DINOSAUR and this one's a GIANT PANDA. Same shit, different game. If you can't agree with me, look at how many games were between Street Fighter II and III.

Hey, the genre is dead in real-time strategy as well. I'm not playing Trash because it's fresh and new, I'm playing it because it's old and reliable. First person shooters should be a dead genre but because they were so basic to begin with you can add something like mapping "1" to swearing at a guy negatively and it's fresh.

But what do I know. If you can name actual improvements to fighting games since Mortal Kombat II I'm all ears.

[Worm]

I really think Mortal Kombat II is the pinnacle of the genre.

So, you suck at the 3d ones, huh?

I prefer to believe that the 3D ones suck at existing.

I played one of them for the Saturn. Virtua Fighter remix or VF2 or something. It was "3D!!!!!"

What it amounted to was using the side triggers to change the plane around 90 degrees at a time. Are you fucking kidding me. That's "3D!!!!" all of a sudden.

The models were in 3D. The arena was. So were the weather effects, I'm sure, and everything else but the text that said "FIGHT!" But the genre peaked and nobody had anything to add. Wow, a bunch of Japanese people beating the shit out of each other. Thrilling! Haha, now this one's a DINOSAUR and this one's a GIANT PANDA. Same shit, different game. If you can't agree with me, look at how many games were between Street Fighter II and III.

Hey, the genre is dead in real-time strategy as well. I'm not playing Trash because it's fresh and new, I'm playing it because it's old and reliable. First person shooters should be a dead genre but because they were so basic to begin with you can add something like mapping "1" to swearing at a guy negatively and it's fresh.

But what do I know. If you can name actual improvements to fighting games since Mortal Kombat II I'm all ears.

That's like asking someone to name the improvments to the game of tennis over the years, it's not about improvements, it's about who you play, and if you don't play it's because you're probably no good.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

That's like asking someone to name the improvments to the game of tennis over the years, it's not about improvements, it's about who you play, and if you don't play it's because you're probably no good.

No, I'm pretty sure me asking you to list improvements in fighting games for a variety of systems is not the same in me asking you the improvements in Tennis.

Aside from the fact that all major sports have ongoing rule tweaks, natch.

[Worm]

That's like asking someone to name the improvments to the game of tennis over the years, it's not about improvements, it's about who you play, and if you don't play it's because you're probably no good.

No, I'm pretty sure me asking you to list improvements in fighting games for a variety of systems is not the same in me asking you the improvements in Tennis.

Aside from the fact that all major sports have ongoing rule tweaks, natch.

A.) What the fuck do you know about fighting games?
I couldn't tell if you thought that Street Fighter 3 followed Street Fighter 2 in the series, or if it was that you were displeased with the whole Alpha series.
B.) I'm saying that fighting games resemble a major sport more than they do a game, in that it's the participants that make the game interesting. Of course Tekken 1,2,3,4,5 aren't that different, because they're fucking fighting games. Is this what we're talking about with "improvements", shit like the insults in Kingping?

LIST OF IMPROVEMENTS IN FIGHTING GAMES
Special Moves, Super Moves, Combos, Just Frame attacks(special attacks where button presses need to be executed at a certain frame of animation in the attack), counters, strafing, tag systems, and 3D. Also, in Fighting Vipers you could knock off the chick's clothing.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

A.) What the fuck do you know about fighting games?

More than you.

I couldn't tell if you thought that Street Fighter 3 followed Street Fighter 2 in the series, or if it was that you were displeased with the whole Alpha series.

Haha, "displeased." Yeah, I was really broken up over it. Why did they make 25 games in-between Street Fighter 2 and 3? Because they wanted more quarters but knew that there were no more worthwhile advancements to be made. Then released something shitty without sprites and everyone right in their heads said, "Yup, it sucks."

LIST OF IMPROVEMENTS IN FIGHTING GAMES
Special Moves,

No. This was in Mortal Kombat II.

Super Moves, Combos

This was also in MK2.

Just Frame attacks(special attacks where button presses need to be executed at a certain frame of animation in the attack)

Hahha, someone managed to make special moves even MORE annoying. Come on, Worm! At least admit this is stupid.

counters

Okay, I will give you this one.

strafing, tag systems, and 3D. Also, in Fighting Vipers you could knock off the chick's clothing.

Strafing: dodge. Like block. No.

Tag systems: this was in Wrestlemania like 15 years ago. No.

3D? Pointless.

I'll give you Fighting Vipers. So, combos and nudity. Face it man, it's not just dead it's buried. People shoveled dirt on the coffin and members of the opposite sex exchanged phone numbers hoping to hook up with some cemetary sex later. A giant, fire-breathing panda put out his up-turned palms and said, "IT DEAD KEE KEE KEE!!!!"

[Worm]

I couldn't tell if you thought that Street Fighter 3 followed Street Fighter 2 in the series, or if it was that you were displeased with the whole Alpha series.

Haha, "displeased." Yeah, I was really broken up over it. Why did they make 25 games in-between Street Fighter 2 and 3? Because they wanted more quarters but knew that there were no more worthwhile advancements to be made. Then released something shitty without sprites and everyone right in their heads said, "Yup, it sucks."

You realize Capcom isn't the fighting game genre, right? Furthermore there wasn't an advancement with SF3. It was just crappy. Alpha three was much better. Is that your major gripe? The lack of continuity in the numbers? I realize this whole "corporation wants more money" point probably destroyed the fighting genre in your head, so just go with that, let's all pretend it wasn't the stupidest thing I've ever read.

Sprite recycling is what Capcom has always been notorious for, and the only way they label something a new game is when it has a bunch of different characters even if it's generally the same game.

LIST OF IMPROVEMENTS IN FIGHTING GAMES
Special Moves,

No. This was in Mortal Kombat II.

Oh, since Mortal Kombat II?

Super Moves, Combos

This was also in MK2.

No, they weren't. You just have no fucking clue what you're talking about. Super Moves are special moves with a stupid charge bar, sure it's not rewriting the genre but MK2 didn't have it. Combos were added in MK3.

Just Frame attacks(special attacks where button presses need to be executed at a certain frame of animation in the attack)

Hahha, someone managed to make special moves even MORE annoying. Come on, Worm! At least admit this is stupid.

Oh yeah, who would want an attack with the same opening with different attacks you can do based on timing?

strafing, tag systems, and 3D. Also, in Fighting Vipers you could knock off the chick's clothing.

Strafing: dodge. Like block. No.

Jesus, look, just don't talk about the fucking genre, because in regards to it you are a crusty geezer with MS.

Tag systems: this was in Wrestlemania like 15 years ago. No.

That was a wrestling game you shit head. If you don't understand the difference between fighting and wrestling game you're just not even worth my next post.

3D? Pointless.

Yeah, sure, whatever.

I'll give you Fighting Vipers. So, combos and nudity. Face it man, it's not just dead it's buried. People shoveled dirt on the coffin and members of the opposite sex exchanged phone numbers hoping to hook up with some cemetary sex later. A giant, fire-breathing panda put out his up-turned palms and said, "IT DEAD KEE KEE KEE!!!!"

That's the thing, shitloads of people are still making them and they're still good. You just wouldn't know because you and a bunch of other people who normally just wouldn't care about the genre in the non-crazy world, have decided to jihad against the genre because they were either totally destroyed multiple times in a game or just plain suck becaues you refuse to read a movelist once in awhile. Just fuck off, all your fighting game knowledge past MK2 reeks of "second hand" and that just means you're in no place to even hold an opinion on fighting games past that.

[Lysander]

A.) What the fuck do you know about fighting games?

More than you.

This is what I like to call "bald-faced lie #1." Fascinating. We're not three words into your post and you've already managed to completely destroy your position. It's really funny, you know, how you talk about how you know more than anyone and then manage to completely make an ass out of yourself in the next, oh, entire rest of the post. See, normally, I would have just pointed out the 69105 flagrant errors in your understanding of fighting games, done it nicely, and been on my way, shaking my head in a sad, slightly despairing manner at how foolish you are. But now you're trying to brag about your complete lack of anything even approaching "knowledge" on the subject, so now you're just going to have to get plastered. Are we ready? Okay, here we go!

I couldn't tell if you thought that Street Fighter 3 followed Street Fighter 2 in the series, or if it was that you were displeased with the whole Alpha series.

Haha, "displeased." Yeah, I was really broken up over it. Why did they make 25 games in-between Street Fighter 2 and 3? Because they wanted more quarters but knew that there were no more worthwhile advancements to be made.

Street Fighter II came out in around 1993, and the sixty thousand SF2 updates got released over the course of about 2 years. Of course, they used this to add in new characters, add new moves to the existing characters' arcenals, make it so that the game didn't look like it could be run on an Attarie2600 and in general make it not suck so completely, but you must have been too busy staring at the box and thinking, in that small, slug-like brain of yours, "Street... fighter... II? Wait... it said Street Fighter II on that other box... ARRGGHITSUXUXUXUXUXSUUXSUIJSROFLMAOD))D111!" to notice that the game was, omfgwtflol, actually getting better. Hey, it's not like it's any less lame than SNK releasing a bad King of Fighters game every year for over a decade.

Then released something shitty without sprites and everyone right in their heads said, "Yup, it sucks."

By "everyone right in their heads," I'm just going to assume you meant "you," here. You know what your sad problem is? Your sad problem is is that you're getting the Street Fighter alpha series confused with the Street Fighter II "series". Because, right, anything that uses anime in it sucks automatically. So no Guilty Gear for you! If you're going to just stand there and scream that Alpha II and III were bad games I'm afraid you just won't ever be able to understand how these things work.

LIST OF IMPROVEMENTS IN FIGHTING GAMES
Super Moves, Combos

This was also in MK2.

Here, ladies and gentlemen, is where we come to what I like to call "blatant lie #2." Actually, since we're talking about two different things, I'll call them "blatant lies #2 and 3." And since we are, indeed, talking about two separate things here, I will deal with them separately.

Super moves have never been in a Mortal Kombat game. Ever. "Finishing moves" do not count, because they are not the same thing. Finishing moves are moves you can only execute after you've won, and are therefore useless in a gameplay situation. Super moves are moves that you can only perform a certain amount of times based on how much is in your super bar, which fills based on how badly you're pummeling your opponent or, in the case of Samurai Showdown, how badly you yourself are getting pummeled. These moves tend to do a lot of damage and can quickly turn the tide of a match, and are thus an invaluable tool in any player's arsenal. Mortal Kombat has never had super moves, ever. The only thing you could even come close to referring to as a "super move" is that retarded "power-up" special that some of the characters had in Deadly Alliance, and all that does is give your current moves more damage for a very short time, oh and you can use it any time you want, so that also makes it unlike a super move... oh, and I could never actually get it to work, so it also doesnt' count because I say it doesn't. So there. Bitch.

Combos were also not introduced in MK2. Rather, they were introduced in MK3, along with the terrible idea of a "run button." While I'm thiking of it--they also have similar thigns in Street Fighter, after Mortal Kombat, only it's called a dash. So rather than running halfway across the arena in two seconds, you just hop forward a few steps by tapping forward a couple times. This also introduced the absolutely *revolutionary* concept of, ohhhh man, are oyu ready for this one? Moving backwards quickly! I can't believe anyone could have ever thought of that brilliant concept! Running forwards *and* backwards! Amazing!

These MOrtal Kombat III combos aren't exactly regular combos though, because MK just has to be so incredibly different (by which I mean worse) from everyone else. These are what we in the fighting game "biz" refer to as "dial-a-button" combos." Walk up to the opponent and memorize a string of ten button-presses 9or just 1 if you're playing Trilogy, AKA the haulmark of awful fighting gaming), and he will use a bunch of weird tripped-out moves that you can't actually get to any other way! In, say, Street Fighter, you just chaine the *regular* attacks together, and you could also use your special moves in combos. This is because the Street Fighter designers are not lazy, and actually made everyones' regular punches and kicks not complete carbon copies of everyone else's.

Just Frame attacks(special attacks where button presses need to be executed at a certain frame of animation in the attack)

Hahha, someone managed to make special moves even MORE annoying. Come on, Worm! At least admit this is stupid.

You really don't know what you're talking about, do you? This is what is commonly known as "parrying" in Street Fighter III, or "Just Defense" in the Samurai Showdown games. To defend against an attack you press forward (or back for JDing) the second before the attack hits and you will take no damage and be able to counter-attack. If you think that's stupid, be my guest to not use it. Oh, and then get completely dominated by everyone else who is not stupid and does use it.

Oh yes, and then there's move canceling, which is what I think you were talking about earlier with this being stupid, where you can cancel one move into another. MY simple response to this is "Yes, but you loved it in Mortal Kombat, didn't you? Didn't you, you festering pusstule?" Oh, but Mortal Kombat didn't have super moves, so no super canceling for you, either.

Strafing: dodge. Like block. No.

Once again, your utter lack of anything even approaching an understanding of how fighting game mechanics work shines through like a pulsating, sentient migraine behind these nonfunctioning eyes of mine. Blocking allows you to, well, block an attack. Dodging allows you to um... dodge it. Do you not understand the difference between blocking an attack and dodging it? Obviously not, which explains why you never managed to fight back in high school. "Bahaha! Your puny switchblade cannot harm me, pathetic strangely-dressed motorcycle-riding person! I'll just block it with my wrist! It's exactly the same as dodging AAUUGH!"

#1: when you block something, you take negligible damage. When you dodge it, you take no damage. If you can't figure out how taking no damage is different from taking some damage, you'll just have to hand this BBS over to me, since you have no understanding of the simple concepts like not standing around like a jackass and getting hit by a chunk of falling masonry when your house finally gets tired of your stinking, pathetic existence and falls on you in an attempt to end both its suffering and your life.

#2: blocking an attack leaves you in "block stun," where you're recovering from the shock of getting hit by whatever it was that hit you. Dodging does not leave you in the block stun of the attack that you missed entirely, but in fact allows you, in most cases, to get closer to your opponent, who is still stuck recovering from the attack that he just sent at you and is then vulnerable to getting the shit kicked out of him. I'm sure you can figure this concept out, if given enough time, all you need to do is go back to the happy memories when you swung your plastic sword at someone in the middle of your D&D LARPing, and what happened after you overbalanced your enormous ass after he dodged it and were stuck teatering on one foot, unable to stop him from running in and punching you five times in your (large) stomach because you were too busy making sure that you didn't fall on someone and cause an earthquake.

Tag systems: this was in Wrestlemania like 15 years ago. No.

Are we talking about Wrestlemania, you incontinant shitbag? No, we are not. We are talking about fighting games. Fighting games and wrestling games are completely--COMPLETELY!--different things. Jesus Christ, what's next? Are you going to complain that the concept of using a fireball is unoriginal because you could shoot a particularly annoying Barron of Fuck with a rocket launcher before Mortal Kombat?

Besides, the Wrestlemania tag system is so completely different from the tag system in Marvel VS. Capcom II that even if they weren't two completely different genres (which they are) they might as well be anyway. I could explain to
you how they are so different, but I fear you would get lost with complex terms such as "counter" or "delayed hyper combo."

3D? Pointless.

Play Virtua Fighter 4 EVO and say that again, slappy.

Oh, by the way, I'll also bring up something Worm forgot about: tech hits. This allows you to reverse throws. While I'm on the subject, Street Fighter, King of Fighters, Samurai Showdown, Guilty Gear, Tekken, Virtua Fighter, and basically every fighting game on the planet that has a throw has managed to fix the throws so they're not completely retarded like Mortal Kombat. Mortal Kombat has not done this, because it's Mortal Kombat. Also, there is the matter of the block button. Mortal Kombat is the only game in the history of fighting games to actually assign a button to "block." Okay, except Soul Calibur. BTW, they (and by "they," here, I of course mean "every fighting game in the universe that's not Mortal Kombat") also manufactured this incredible concept, it's called "low-blocking," that way you can block against MK's completely retarded and unfare foot-sweep-of-omg-d00m! So, now there are no unblockables, except for throws, which can be tech-hit out of. I'm sure you're going to start complaining any day now about how this totally ruins the game because it takes more effort than mashing back+LK, but that's just something you're going to have to deal with: actually working for your wins. Oh the humanity!

So, combos and nudity.

But you said that combos were already in MK2. (The fact that this was completely, utterly, and entirely inaccurate is, for the moment, tabled.) Are you now saying that your previous position was wrong? That would be a rare unselfish act for you. But no, you're just so completely scatterbrained--like a small, and very cute, little girl--that you meant to say "counters" and instead wrote "combos." How incredibly embarrassing for you.

Face it man, it's not just dead it's buried.

Which explains why companies are still making them, of course, and why the most widely-played tournament game is not your precious Mortal Kombat II but is in fact from a game that came out 6 years later. Face it, man. You're completely out of your element here. Oh, and speaking of buried games, when's the last time anyone's made something on the Vectrex?

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

You realize Capcom isn't the fighting game genre, right?

I know everything there is to know about video games. The sooner you and the other people around here propping up shitty games realize that the better things will be. But still, half the posts this place generates would be absent.

Furthermore there wasn't an advancement with SF3. It was just crappy.

I'm sorry that you and Lysander can't see the humor in this. Capcom staved off making a game called Street Fighter 3 for years as if there was something magical about the number. They finally release a game with that title and it sucks as well. Why can't you enjoy that? Why can't you take any pleasure in the fact that Japan's best minds went HURRRR for five years and then put out a shitty game anyway?

Is that your major gripe? The lack of continuity in the numbers?

Any time you try to explain what I'm saying -- just stop yourself for a moment and ask, "Would the smartest guy who hasn't blocked me on AIM really think this?" Of course my gripe -- such as it is -- with fighting games isn't in the numbering. It's that there's nothing left to innovate, that it's a dead genre and that there hasn't been anything compelling since Mortal Kombat II used a processor that seemed twice as fast as the sluggish MK1.

I realize this whole "corporation wants more money" point probably destroyed the fighting genre in your head, so just go with that, let's all pretend it wasn't the stupidest thing I've ever read.

I don't know what to say, other than the fact that you telling everyone what you think someone else said is the stupidest thing you've ever read. Finally, Worm! You can enjoy yourself like the rest of us do!

Oh, since Mortal Kombat II?

My take is that there hasn't been anything compelling since MK2. And MK2 is only compelling because it was quick. Lightning fast. You spent your two quarters in like thirty seconds at first. In Mortal Kombat they were slowing things down by having you punch boards and other stupid shit. I think Mortal Kombat II is the most important game in the genre and also the last important game in the genre. Not that I give it a whole lot of credit -- it just happened to have nice hardware. I'm automatically discounting oceans of stupid Ken and Ryu shit because:

1) I can't stand anime in video games
2) There wasn't a SINGLE memorable character in any Street Fighter game ever
3) They diluted the brand so that nobody in their right mind ought to care anyway.

If you want to tell me that Street Fighter II Remixed by Rubin III Puzzle Fighter was a great game that I just missed okay, I suppose that's possible. It's possible that somebody might have released a good Adrift game in the last two years as well.

Super Moves, Combos

This was also in MK2.

No, they weren't. You just have no fucking clue what you're talking about. Super Moves are special moves with a stupid charge bar, sure it's not rewriting the genre but MK2 didn't have it. Combos were added in MK3.

So they were moves with a charge bar. Okay. Worm, if you make a feature that was in MK2 worse I don't think that counts as a notable innovation.

Hahha, someone managed to make special moves even MORE annoying. Come on, Worm! At least admit this is stupid.

Oh yeah, who would want an attack with the same opening with different attacks you can do based on timing?[/quote]

If you're telling me that being pixel perfect in a video game is desirable then I don't know what to say to you. I can buy it if you're saying that is just exists as something new and are neutral as to how fun or unfun it is. But there's no difference between you saying that putting in special moves that require pinpoint timing is really cool and some retard saying that he liked hunting for pixels in Wolfenstein 3D.

Jesus, look, just don't talk about the fucking genre, because in regards to it you are a crusty geezer with MS.

You're telling me that DODGE and BLOCK aren't essentially the same thing. If I'm writing the code for one of these godawful stupid modern day fighters the program flow is all coming down to no damage done.

Besides, "dodge" is unrealistic anyway. I can buy a guy shooting fireballs out of his hand or punching a four-armed Goliath in the nuts in the dark wearing sunglasses, but my ability to swallow taller and taller tales ends with a Tyrannasaurus Rex "dodging" the attack of a guy with twin two-handed swords.

(I'm all over the place. Tekken, Primal Rage -- hell man, I'll even throw in characters from Wacko! down below and that shit ain't even a fighting game, dog!)

That was a wrestling game you shit head. If you don't understand the difference between fighting and wrestling game you're just not even worth my next post.

The hell is the difference between Roddy Piper FIGHTING Hulk Hogan and palette-swapped Japanese schoolgirls FIGHTING each other? Actually, I know exactly what: Wrestlemania gave you options like bodyslam, suplex and the sleeperhold and every fighting game that's ever existed gives you the same stupid controls with a half-baked, half-implemented "special" move system.

That's the thing, shitloads of people are still making them and they're still good.

I am glad that they are still making them! I can honestly not ever see myself getting one again. Okay, truth to tell with enough nudity anything's possible, but still. You guys are calling me a dinosaur. ME! A dinosaur! I was shooting half-dino half-space aliens with my trackball and control stick when you were in grade school but that doesn't make me a dinosaur. I was IN the dino-comp!!! I know what I'm talking about.

Just fuck off, all your fighting game knowledge past MK2 reeks of "second hand" and that just means you're in no place to even hold an opinion on fighting games past that.

AhHAHAHAHahahaa!!! You're worked up like you're DATING THEM!!!! Which you CAN'T because that would be an INNOVATION and I pretty much just proved there ain't any.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Jesus Christ, Bond. I know you don't have to look at it but the rest of us haven't built monitors yet that can contain your Unabomberesque screed on fighting games. Let me find a comfy chair, a fifth of brandy and four hours and I'll get back to you.

Early prediction: I'll attempt to prove that I'm right and you're wrong because I can see which is the Willy Wonka Golden Ticket Trump Card of Internet fighting game debate.