Jolt Country

Well, it had to happen sooner or later.




That's right, Jolt Country friends! Gather the family, we're all going to play "What Number Am I Thinking Of."

I take issue to the television show for offering cash to people without testing their skills in absolutely any way, however I can't deny the inherent excitement in watching people squirm and shout as sexy ladies open suitcases.

So, why do I hate the idea of the home version? Well, I don't think they can fit too many sexy ladies in that box, and I'm also fairly certain it doesn't spit out real money. So what, then, is the point? Monopoly can make some kids smarter. Battleship, Guess Who, Yahtzee, Scrabble: these games take skill, and playing them will make kids smarter. The only thing a home version of Deal or No Deal can do is make kids feel like playing the lottery, and everybody knows how retarded that is.

You know, I take it back. I hate the television show, too. I say replace it with a show called "Here's Some Money. Do Anything -Anything At All- to Earn It."

Can you beat the odds, Gerrit? CAN YOU BEAT THE ODDS?

They made a computer version of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" Of course, "Who Wants to Beat a Millionaire?" would be a great video game. They didn't make that one, though.

There is a story about a guy getting told about the Atari 2600 version of the Rubik's Cube. The guy throws in a hilarious burn about young people. I should find the proper quote, but it goes something like, "You had all these 25 year olds with MBAs making million-dollar decisions." One woman asked some crusty old engineer if he'd be interested in Rubik's for the Atari. The guy instantly says no and the woman asks how he could make the decision so quickly.

I can make these sort of decisions quickly, too. Deal or No Deal... the Board Game should have never existed. They should at least follow the winning scheme for movies-to-video games, where they sort of just are "inspired" by the movie, but do not follow it verbatim. If they did that for Deal or No Deal... the Board Game and ripped off 221 B Baker Street then that would be more acceptable.

I think.

There's actually at least two Millionaire games, and a Weakest Link game.