Cryptozookeeper for sale: $15

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Aug 14, 2011 6:21 pm

I going to try to roll this out slowly, as I have never sold anything properly through Paypal before.

The limited edition two-disc set of Cryptozookeeper is now on sale, for $15 + shipping. More details at http://www.cryptozookeeper.com

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Aug 15, 2011 7:48 am

(Thanks for the tweet, Flack!)

More info and an order form here:
http://www.joltcountry.com/index.php/ro ... ozookeeper

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Mon Aug 15, 2011 3:05 pm

I get a cash kickback, right Johnsey?

Remember the agreement, Johnsey!

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Aug 15, 2011 6:33 pm

Well, someone needs to make money on this venture. You know what? I wasn't going to say anything, but I want junior developers to learn from my mistake. It costs $13.95 to send a DVD to Europe. You might have seen that earlier today I was doing $4 shipping worldwide. This... this does not lend itself to any profits. I am filling the original orders as-is, but I had to bump it up for European shipping. It's brutal out there.

(Domestic shipping is more than I am charging, too, but whatever.)

So if you ever decide to make a game or movie or whatever and sell it, check the shipping to Europe first, people. It could save a life.

Tdarcos · Post by **Tdarcos** » Tue Aug 16, 2011 12:42 am

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote: I want junior developers to learn from my mistake. It costs $13.95 to send a DVD to Europe. You might have seen that earlier today I was doing $4 shipping worldwide. This... does not lend itself to any profits... check the shipping to Europe first, people.

I looked it up on USPS.GOV, and you were right, shipping to Germany, as a test case, was running a whopping $13 and up and some options on shipping methods are as high as $40. Which was ridiculous, I ordered a set of brushes for doing painting (as in on paper or canvas) from Hong Kong on eBay and they were less than US$4 including shipping. And I'm sure the guy didn't lose money.

But you have to know how to work the rules to not pay an arm and a leg for shipping.

Jonsey, for U.S. Shipping, a DVD kit can fit in a 9x12 envelope, which if it's below the maximum 13 ounces for First Class Mail, is 88c for the first ounce (envelopes bigger than 6x9" pay a 1 ounce penalty) and 17c each additional ounce, with the maximum $3.09 for a shipment all the way across the country (from here in Maryland) to California (I used the infamous zip code 90210). You being in the middle of the country it might be less.

Actually, use any normal package, since you're shipping a DVD of computer software you qualify for Media Mail, and a 13-ounce Media-Mail package is $2.41. The package must be marked "Media Mail" on the outside and may be sealed or unsealed, as this rate means you waive the right not to be subject to inspection.

So check the weight, if it's low enough, you could use First Class Mail, but if FCM rate exceeds $2.41 then use Media Mail. Or whatever it is from your part of the country.

But for Europe, check out "First-Class Mail® International Package" and I priced it for Germany: $5.20. Package is subject to the following size requirement:
Other than rolls: Max. length 24", max length, height and depth (thickness) combined 36"
Rolls: Max. length 36". Max length and twice the diameter combined 42"

So for Europe, you need to raise the shipping price from $4 to $7, and you'll make the same about $1 profit on shipping to cover costs of taking to the Post Office.

Brian Testerson · Post by **Brian Testerson** » Tue Aug 16, 2011 3:56 pm

I like to test things.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Tue Aug 16, 2011 5:12 pm

Well, crap! I already mailed out a check for $12.00. That means I need to mail out another check for four dollars. Why did I read twelve dollars on the email I got the other day?

THE
BIFOCALS INDEED
AARDVARK

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Thu Aug 25, 2011 3:13 pm

guestVark · Post by **guestVark** » Tue Sep 06, 2011 5:24 pm

Thank you for putting the coupon on the front page! It made my day. I usually never see it as I log right in to the forum.

THE
AWESOMENESS!
AARDVARK

Flack-iPad · Post by **Flack-iPad** » Wed Sep 07, 2011 3:08 am

ICJ, I got the thumbs up to run a small review of the game on Retroist.com, so I will do that next week when I am back home. The review will be very short and I'll tie it into his last podcast about Zork, somehow. How are sales going at this point?

Lysander · Post by **Lysander** » Wed Sep 07, 2011 3:56 am

I don't mean to be an asshole, here, but like, what's different about the 2-disc as opposed to downloading the game from the webarchive? I get that pride of ownership and the packaging and aesthetic of a physical product is important to many people, but I am not one of those people. If there is extra content I will fork over my $ without complaint. I may do this anyway, because you made an awesome game and because you bought me a quad core AM3 processor when I really needed and really could not afford such a thing like it was nothing, and to not reward such kindness with some cash would be highly dickish.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Sep 07, 2011 9:32 am

ICJ, I got the thumbs up to run a small review of the game on Retroist.com, so I will do that next week when I am back home. The review will be very short and I'll tie it into his last podcast about Zork, somehow. How are sales going at this point?

My friend.

Thank you so much. I really have been completely unable to get traction on a major blog. It's uncanny. Blue's News was great, but then Blue is just awesome. When one of us makes a serious review on Caltrops, he always links it. He's the best. But I came up empty at Game Set Watch, TIG Source, Rock Paper Shotgun and others. Yesterday I finally said, "fuck it" and wrote the guy who did the Get Lamp article for Kotaku (and will write more high-profile sites that I honestly would not expect to care) so getting a mention on the Retroist really means a lot to me. My favorite game in the universe is throwing my phone at my alarm clock, thus taking both morning alarms "off-line" but next is Zork, if that helps any sort of contextual bridge.

I'll write you an e-mail with how sales are going. I'm still upside down on it, though.

I don't mean to be an asshole, here, but like, what's different about the 2-disc as opposed to downloading the game from the webarchive? I get that pride of ownership and the packaging and aesthetic of a physical product is important to many people, but I am not one of those people. If there is extra content I will fork over my $ without complaint. I may do this anyway, because you made an awesome game and because you bought me a quad core AM3 processor when I really needed and really could not afford such a thing like it was nothing, and to not reward such kindness with some cash would be highly dickish.

My friend! The two disc set has the following advantages:

- You get a Redbook audio CD from the Bachelor Machines. It includes one song you can't find anywhere else (his Crypto-remix of Posture Photos #8). It was so edgy, it wasn't even in the game.

- You get a foreword by Alex Gray, who played Lebbeus in the game. When Alex becomes preposterously famous (you can just sort of tell he will, one day) you will be able to say you knew him when.

- You get a very short story I wrote that takes place immediately before the first scene in the game. You can play the game without having read it and not miss anything. It just serves to tie Cryptozookeeper into the game world of some of my earlier games. (It's formatted for a Kindle, or HTML if you have no Kindle.)

- You get the source code to the game. My design documents, such as they are, are also included. Mostly the "design documents" are just a bunch of README.TXT files that show all the stuff I cut from the game, but it's there.

- You get .PSD files of the art. So if you never got DeLoy's Ape in the game but want to see him, you can.

- I threw all the Hugor interpreters in there as well.

- I believe the two-disc amray-style packaging is vibrant and good-looking, but that's just me.

- Oh! I almost forgot. You also get a game disc with Gerrit's face on it.

You're not a dick for wondering why I put the physical thing together. I'm just really happy with how the game came out, and if it's meant to be the third game in the FoD/ND line, well, a hard copy release is the way to go. And I am glad you got that processor. Christ, you've tested the shit out of my games for 10 years now. Least I can do. Well, the least I could do would be to send you a Cyrix, but you know what I mean.

Lysander · Post by **Lysander** » Wed Sep 07, 2011 4:38 pm

I do! Heh. Thanks for that. I will in all likelyhood purchase this thing from you (if I can get another one of those "thanks for testing" notes like I did for the Necrotic Drift package, that would be, as you say, ACES! It makes it look better on my shelf (I do not, in fact, have a shelf)). It will probably be near the end of the month, though, because I need to keep track of my nickles and dimes these days. But I will do this thing. For you. _My Friend._

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Sep 08, 2011 10:36 pm

Wanted to link to this write up at the Gnome's Lair:
http://www.gnomeslair.com/2011/09/excel ... eaves.html

Had no idea that Terry Cavanagh of VVVVVV fame had just finished a game, and I am gonna grab that Ghosts n' Goblins-inspired game as well.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Sep 12, 2011 12:10 pm

I don't know how Reddit works, but if any of you guys could click on this:

That would be great. If I could get it listed to their main page for indie gaming, well, that would probably mean the thing would really take off, and I could sell the rest of the copies of the game.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Sep 17, 2011 7:27 am

I got word that the copy I shipped to Australia has not made it. It's been a month. This is awful!

I know there's no real support page set up. I'm going to make a note on the game's main page but also here. (Guest posting is allowed.) If your copy hasn't arrived, and it's been over 10 business days, let me know.

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Sat Sep 17, 2011 8:35 am

Lots of people in Canada have two copies of my book. After a couple of weeks Canadians start freaking out about not receiving stuff in the post, which is hilarious because I suspect if you lived within line of sight of the US/Canada border and attempted to mail something 10' across the border, it would take at least a month. Every time I send a book to Canada, EVERY TIME, about 4 hours after they pay they start crying. "Oh, where is it? Oh, it didn't COME!" So inevitably I end up sending a second copy and then later I get the "OH IT ARRIVED NEVER MIND" message.

Also, from both personal experience and the experience of several friends, I don't think Italy has a post office. Whenever you mail stuff to Italy it either ends up in the Forbidden Zone, or goes to some rich bureaucrat's house at which point he keeps what he wants and throws the rest away. Point is, it never, ever arrives at the recipient's house. If anyone from Italy orders your game you should just refund their money immediately and throw a copy of your game in the trash and save everybody a bunch of time.

Seriously, fuck Italy. You have a better chance of a Nigerian scammer actually giving you $44 million dollars than you do getting a package delivered to anyone living in Italy.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Sep 17, 2011 9:07 am

Flack wrote:Also, from both personal experience and the experience of several friends, I don't think Italy has a post office. Whenever you mail stuff to Italy it either ends up in the Forbidden Zone, or goes to some rich bureaucrat's house at which point he keeps what he wants and throws the rest away. Point is, it never, ever arrives at the recipient's house. If anyone from Italy orders your game you should just refund their money immediately and throw a copy of your game in the trash and save everybody a bunch of time.

Seriously, fuck Italy. You have a better chance of a Nigerian scammer actually giving you $44 million dollars than you do getting a package delivered to anyone living in Italy.

Whoa, I remember reading this exact same thing on one of the too-many forums I follow. God, where was it? Yeah, this is pretty much taken as fact at this point. Rise up, Italians! You don't have to stand for this!

Do you have tracking? It's $13.95 a pop for me to ship stuff out of America. Actually, how do you ship your book? I am using priority mail boxes.

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Sat Sep 17, 2011 10:00 am

https://shop.usps.com/webapp/wcs/stores ... ogId=10001

I use priority flat rate envelopes. They're made of stiff poster board so I've never had a book arrive damaged. The envelopes are free at the post office and you can usually just grab a handful on your way out the door, so you can have some sitting around at your house. That's what I do; when someone orders a book I sign it, put it in one of those envelopes, then drive up to the post office and ship it out using their kiosk. I don't do delivery confirmation unless the person pays extra for it. I do keep the receipt so if the person asks if/when I shipped it, I can pull that out.

Shipping inside the US is $4.95 (which is amazing; when I started sending out Commodork in 2006, they were $4.05) and international it's "$11.95 to Canada and Mexico, $13.95 to all other countries." I have always charged $5 for shipping as I figured $4.05 went to the shipping and 95 cents went to me driving up to the post office and doing all that, but now I get a nickel for that service.

I also tried saving money by buying bubble envelopes. I was paying about a buck per envelope, and then normal shipping which was a couple of bucks and it just seemed like a lot more work to save a dollar and get stuff to people in a week instead of 2 days.

The only thing I can think of that ever got lost was I shipped a case of Commodorks to Jason using media mail and it never showed up. So I don't use media mail anymore.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Sep 21, 2011 10:02 pm

It got mentioned over at Rock Paper Shotgun:

http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2011/09 ... ozookeeper

As this was pretty much the "holy grail" of getting mentioned on PC gaming blogs, I can now consider this project complete. (Plenty of hard copies still available though, ha ha, ulp.)